


Stealing Hearts

by Annibelle_White



Category: The Wicked Years Series - Gregory Maguire, Wicked - All Media Types, Wicked - Schwartz/Holzman
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Homelessness, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-11
Updated: 2016-04-19
Packaged: 2018-05-19 19:50:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 51
Words: 69,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5979100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annibelle_White/pseuds/Annibelle_White
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A young woman attempts to pickpocket Prince Fiyero in the City. Instead of having her arrested, Fiyero takes Elphaba for a meal and gives her a little money. Elphaba, who was abandoned as a child and taken in by somewhat abusive strangers, decides it's probably in Fiyero's best interest that they never meet again. He, however, has other ideas. Can he save her? Does she want to be saved? Is she even worth saving?<br/>AU<br/>Implications of Rape/NonCon</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Random Acts

The streets were starting to fall into darkness, and the prince decided it was probably best to get back to his hotel. His brother hadn’t sent him to the City to wander, after all. He was supposed to be arranging a trade with some Quadling leader tomorrow. But since he’d arrived only several hours prior, he’d wanted to get the lay of the land before heading to his hotel room. Perhaps he should’ve at least stopped there, though. He was still carrying his bags. Between that and his unique appearance, he stuck out like a sore thumb.

He looked down at his hands for a moment. They were the color of the dirt in the streets. All around him, people with lighter skin and a pale countenance went about their daily lives. No one here was like him. It was his first time outside of the Vinkus, and he was only just starting to understand that he was different. A little boy had pointed at him earlier, asking his mother why that man was so dirty. The boy’s mother had hurriedly hushed him and whispered something Fiyero couldn’t hear.

There was no washing away the color of his skin, and there was no washing away the tattoos he’d been inked with as a sort of initiation into his tribe at the age of nine. He didn’t mind those as much, though. He’d gotten to choose the color and the design, and he thought they complimented his ochre skin well. Although from the looks he was being given by passerby, he wasn’t so sure anymore.

Someone brushed against him and he felt thin fingers slip into the pocket of his cloak. A pickpocket! He reached out and grabbed the wrist attached to the fingers. “What do you think you’re doing?”

The face that turned to him shocked him. It was a young woman, no older than he. Her skin glowed an effervescent shade of emerald. Her face betrayed no fear at being caught, only determination. “Let go of me,” she said softly.

“Not until you explain yourself,” he demanded. Watching his elder brother handle thieves and vandals had given him a strong demeanor in these things, though he knew he was talking larger than his actions would be. “Were you attempting to steal from me?”

“What of it if I was?”

“Do you know who I am?” Had she chosen him because he was foreign? Was she doing this to make a mockery of him?

“I don’t particularly care. You looked like you could afford to lose a little.” Her brown eyes bore into his, unflinching. “Let me go and I won’t bother you again.”

“I could turn you in, have you thrown in Southstairs, you know.” But even as he said it, he knew he wouldn’t. He examined the young woman before him. Her dress was at least a size too small and covered in patches. She was skinny, and her eyes looked gaunt. Clearly she was poor.

She only shrugged. “Go on, then.”

Her response surprised him. Was she really not afraid? Or was she bluffing? “I’d rather not deal with the hassle.” Was it possible she was afraid of something worse than Southstairs?

“Then let me go. I don’t have time to waste on your lecture.” There was a flash of fear in her eyes when she spoke about time, though he didn’t understand why.

The sudden dread he saw in her made him pity her. “You look like you’re hungry.”

“And?”

"Let me buy you a meal. I’ll give you a little change, too, so you can eat tomorrow.”

“Why should I trust you?”

“Because it’s this or Southstairs! I’m a prince. I don’t think the Gale Force would take well to you trying to steal from me. I’d rather not have to deal with the fuss, though.”

She grunted, eying him suspiciously. “Fine. If you insist, I don’t suppose there’s much I can do.”

He walked her towards a little café. “You are well-spoken for a pickpocket.”

“And your point is?”

“Do you live on the streets?”

“Why is my life of such interest to you? Are you trying to understand how the other half lives? I will not sit here and let you examine me like a subject in an experiment.” She tried to tug her hand away, glaring fiercely at him.

“I didn’t mean it that way. If I’m going to feed you, you ought to talk to me.” He led her through the doors and they were seated. “Is this how you respond to kindness?”

“I don’t know you. I’ve been around long enough to know that most acts of kindness want something in return.”

“That’s a sad way to look at the world,” he commented.

“It’s the truth.”

“Are you going to answer the question I asked earlier? Do you live on the streets?”

“I sometimes have a roof. That’s all you need to know.”

“And this is how you make money?”

“I never went to school and I’ve no skills to trade.” She folded her arms across her chest.

“You don’t sound like you never went to school. Can you read?”

“Yes.”

“So you went to school.”

“I taught myself from trashed books and old newspapers. I’d like to at least know what’s going on in the world that I inhabit, however temporary.” She perused the menu. “I don’t know what you’re expecting of me.”

“Nothing. I expect you to eat.” He smiled in greeting at their waiter. “Whatever you want. I can handle it.”

She hesitated before ordering a sandwich and hot tea, looking at him and not the waiter as she did. The girl was clearly waiting for some sort of consequence.

“What is your name?”

“I don’t recall you giving me yours,” she replied shortly.

“It’s Fiyero – Prince Fiyero of the Arjikis.” He flushed a little at the title. Fiyero had never quite felt like a prince, but here across from the scraggly poor girl, he was more aware of his status than ever. “Now are you going to tell me yours?”

“Elphaba.” She nervously wiped her dark hair out of her face, and for a moment he saw just how lovely she was. Her features were sharp and her eyes betrayed some hint of gentleness behind her defensive front.

“Well it’s nice to meet you, I suppose.”

“I don’t believe I’ve ever really met someone in such a fashion,” she admitted. “I don’t understand exactly why you did it, but I do appreciate you not taking me to the authorities. I… apologize for what I did. I just… I thought…”

“What did you think?”

“You had so much stuff with you. I figured if anyone could afford to lose a little cash, it would be you. And you were clearly not from around here, so I figured you would be an easy target. You really should be careful.”

“I think I’m learning that.”

The food was put in front of her and she took a bite. She spoke through a mouthful of food. “How did you know?”

“In the Vinkus, we practice our defensive skills. We also hunt, though I’ve never been fond of that part. I could feel you reach for my coin purse. You should be careful, too. I don’t have any fancies that my giving you a meal will keep you from continuing in your chosen profession. So if you are going to do such things, don’t make such assumptions about foreigners.” He gazed at the young woman as she scarfed down her food. No one had ever taught her manners, and she seemed to be incredibly hungry.

Elphaba finished her food in less than five minutes, as though she worried someone would steal it away if she slowed down. She picked at the crumbs on the plate.

He could tell she wasn’t full. She probably hadn’t been full in a very long time. “Do you want dessert?” Fiyero was still working on his soup, but she looked so sad. “I insist,” he decided.

A flush rose to her cheeks and the left side of her mouth quirked up in a small smile. “If you’re insisting…”

He called the waiter over and ordered her an apple pie. As soon as the waiter was gone, he smiled at her. “Everyone deserves a good meal once in a while.”

She lowered her eyes. “Not everyone. I’m not really that good. I mean, I did try to pick your pocket.”

“I have a feeling that was out of necessity and not malice.”

“You… you don’t know me.”

“You’re right; I don’t. But what I see is a girl in an unfortunate situation, not a girl who deliberately wants to cause harm to others.”

“That doesn’t make me good.” She nibbled at the pie nervously. “This has been a wonderful meal, and I really do thank you.”

He dug into his pocket a pulled out a few coins, sensing that she was about to leave. He pressed them into her palm. “Here. Try to keep yourself safe.”

She put her fork down and looked back at him for a moment, her hand still open with the coins. “You didn’t have to…”

“I wanted to.” He closed her fingers around the money. “I realize you probably need to leave. Please take care of yourself.”

She stood, staring at him like he was not only foreign, but alien. “Um, thank you.” Before she turned away, she said, “Thank you for proving me wrong.”

“About what?”

“Acts of kindness. It probably doesn’t seem like much to you, but to me… you don’t know what you just saved me from.” She gave him a half smile and fled before he could ask what she meant by such things.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elphaba goes "home" and decides to hide that she met Fiyero.

She counted the coins in her hand several times before she believed it. It wasn’t exactly a lot of money, but it was more than she usually got. That meant she’d have some peace tonight. In fact, if she was careful, she could even maybe buy an old used book and hide it. Elphaba hadn’t had enough for that in a while. She felt tempted to cast one last glance at the kind boy who had helped her, but she couldn’t risk it. The way he looked at her was confusing, and his kindness was off-putting.

Elphaba ducked into a general store and grabbed a small vial of oil. This would last her the week. Then she went to the back and perused the small selection of books. She found the cheapest one and bought it. As soon as she stepped back outside, she slid the book into her dress. Majik would kill her if he found out.

There was a small homeless camp out towards the edges of the City covered in small lean-tos and tents. Occasionally, the Gale Force would come by and threaten, often stealing the little that the inhabitants had, but for the most part they were left alone.

Zestra and Gergin were sitting on the floor. The man looked up at her and said dismissively, “Majik has been looking for you.”

Elphaba nodded carefully. “I’m not late.”

“You’re about to be.” A voice came out of the shadow towards the corner of the small barren room. “I hope you have what we need. Or do you need to earn your keep another way tonight?” He walked over and touched her neck.

She gulped and held out her hand, taking a small step back. “No. I have money.” Elphaba thought about the prince, relief coursing through her blood at his generosity. If he hadn’t given her this much, she’d be lying beneath Majik in minutes, cringing at his terrible breath and ignoring his awful grunting noises.

Since she’d turned sixteen, instead of just using her to beg and steal, Majik had insisted that she please him in other ways if she couldn’t come up with the right amount of money. The first time or two had been a unique sort of uncomfortable, but after that it was just… plain uncomfortable. The act itself no longer bothered her, but the way he smelled, the grease on his hands, the things he said to her, those things made her gag.

Majik grinned as he greedily took the coins from her, his lanky figure somehow still imposing. He handled them quickly. “Not bad, Elphaba.” He held one coin up and examined it. “This one is weird… what is it?”

“I did steal them from a dark-skinned man,” she lied. “Perhaps he had some of his own currency along with regular Ozian currency.” Elphaba had no intentions of giving them any details about the young man who had helped her. They would take advantage of his kindness, or worse.

“We so rarely get strangers in the City.” Zestra commented.

Elphaba took another step away from Majik. “I should get dinner ready soon.” She grabbed the rusty pot and rotting vegetables they had and quickly slipped outside where she built a small fire. Looking around her, she lifted a large rock and scraped the ground underneath, digging until the hole was deep enough to hide her book before putting the rock back over it. She’d come find it tomorrow. If she was able to find any time while she wandered the streets tomorrow, she’d read it then.

She heard the swish of the curtains that served as the door to their hut and Zestra emerged. The woman was in her thirties, with prematurely greying hair and short stature. She put her hands on her hips. “It’s a good thing you got a decent collection today. I don’t think we can stretch this food out much more.”

Elphaba rolled her eyes. Zestra insisted on referring to what she brought home as a collection, even though she’d stopped begging years ago. People felt sorry for a small, strange green girl. A green teenage girl? Sympathy waned after the age of thirteen, she’d found. So Majik had taught her how to pick pockets and grift. She wasn’t so great at the grifting part, but she’d always been slim and sneaky. “Right. So our wellbeing falls solely on my shoulders.”

Zestra’s face made it clear enough she shouldn’t have said that. Her face twisted into a sneer. “You owe us your life, girl. You were left alone on the doorsteps of an abandoned church with nothing but your name. If we hadn’t taken you in, you would have died.”

She’d heard this lecture before. And she knew she would always be deeply indebted to them. Most people were afraid to even touch her when she was young. A child who to most looked like the very embodiment of sin, who might well have been born straight from Kumbrica’s ashes… few would tempt fate by helping her. It had been cold, Majik always reminded her. She likely wouldn’t have survived the night. “I know. I didn’t mean that. I just meant that I’m doing my best and it wouldn’t hurt to have a little help at times. I am always grateful for what you have done for me.”

“You’d better be.” Zestra shook her head and headed back towards the head, Gergin watching her from the doorway.

Elphaba was grateful, at least for Zestra. She had a bad feeling that if Gergin didn’t have Zestra, Majik wouldn’t be the only one she’d have to please when she didn’t bring in what was needed. Even with her, sometimes his eyes fell upon her as she changed or cleansed herself in the dark. Once she’d looked over as Majik used her and seen Gergin staring at them. She shivered at the thought. Thank Oz she’d be spared that particular humiliation tonight.

“You look like you’re thinking too much again, Elphaba.” Majik commented as she served them dinner. “You’re not nearly so attractive when you get lost in thought.”

 _Perhaps I ought to think more, then._ She bit back the grin at that. Anything to ward off his advances. He may have taken her in, and she may owe him everything, but that didn’t mean she had to like it. “I apologize. I’m really just tired. I almost got caught today and I had to sprint quite a ways.”

“You didn’t tell me that.”

“It was nothing. No one actually saw me.” She poured the little that was left of the boiled vegetables onto her plate, trying to seem hungry. Compared to the meal she’d eaten with the prince, this was much less than appetizing. But if they knew someone had fed her, they’d want more details. Elphaba nibbled carefully at the food, hating how chewy it felt in her mouth.

“I should hope not. Or do I need to train you more?”

She shook her head quickly. Majik’s training involved a more physical form of punishment when she got things wrong, and she did not welcome that. “I said it was nothing,” she repeated.

The meal passed in silence. Gergin and Zestra retreated to their corner, and she could hear them rutting like animals. Zestra was making pathetic little noises. Elphaba crawled to her corner, praying she would be left alone.

“Are you certain nothing went wrong today?” Majik sat beside her.

“I am.” She did not want to engage him any further in conversation if she could help it.

“You know,” he said quietly, “maybe it’s a risk tomorrow, though. If you wish, you could work that off with me tonight.” She could feel his hand tracing down her collar.

Elphaba would not look at him. “What I got today is all we have. I need to go out, Majik. I promise to be careful of the Gale Force. Besides, I am very tired tonight, as I said.”

Fortunately, he got up. “As you wish. You know we won’t help you if you should get caught. And giving us up would only hurt you.”

“I know,” she told him.

The next morning, they didn’t eat breakfast. Majik took her money and went to the store to fetch some food and she dug her book up, slipping it back into her dress before she headed out again. A part of her hoped she’d run into that prince again, but she also realized she didn’t know what she’d do if she did. Elphaba couldn’t steal from him, not after what he’d done for her. But she couldn’t ask him for more money, either. It was best that she didn’t see him.

When the streets emptied after the morning rush, she climbed one of the few trees left in Jade Park and pulled out her book. She enjoyed being above everyone else, where no one could even see her. The stares she got regularly made her uneasy, and she didn’t want to deal with them while she was reading. She knew she only really had an hour until people began to trickle out for the lunch rush, but she was glad for any free time at all.

There was a moment where she thought she saw the young man from the prior day walk by beneath her, but she bit her tongue. For his sake, he’d be better off if they never spoke again.


	3. Second Chances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fiyero notices the green girl wandering the streets again and decides to talk to her some more.

He had to be in the City for about a week, and it was now his third day. Fiyero had to admit, his first impression of the City had most certainly been strange. And the Quadling leaders were certainly frustrating. Everything they did was steeped in ritual, and it took almost a week to complete a simple trade deal.

That morning, he’d decided to wander the streets and peruse some of the local shops and stands. He’d learned, of course, from his prior experience not to keep too much money on hand wherever he went. Fiyero couldn’t get the green girl out of his mind, though he didn’t understand why. But he didn’t search for her. He’d be gone in several days, anyway.

When a flash color crossed his vision, though, he did perk up. She was wearing a black cloak, wrapped so tightly around her that he could barely make out her face. But the coloring was unmistakable. He watched as she darted around a corner, clutching something in her hand. Fiyero couldn’t help but follow.

She ducked into an alley, glancing around her. He sidled after her. She jumped back at once, a small knife coming out from her sleeve. “What do you… oh, it’s you.”

“I didn’t mean to scare you. Tell me you’ve never had to use that.”

“I’ve never had to actually hurt anyone with it, but having it has certainly helped me avoid some pain.” Elphaba tucked the knife back into her dress. “What are you doing following me?”

“I wasn’t following you. I just saw you a moment ago.”

“So you followed me?”

“I thought… I don’t know.” He shrugged. “I had hoped you wouldn’t be back out here so soon.”

She wouldn’t meet his gaze. “I’m feeding more than just myself, Fiyero.”

At first, he didn’t understand what he meant. “Oh, sweet Oz. Alone on the streets with a child?”

Her laugh surprised him. “You’re mistaken. I have… comrades, I suppose you could call them.”

“And they can’t feed themselves?”

“Not always. Look, it’s still early. I’ve got to get back to it.” She tried to move past him out of the alleyway and he noted the bags under her eyes.

“Wait.” He brushed her shoulder. “You look exhausted. Come sit down somewhere with me. Please. You’re going to run yourself into the ground if you keep going.”

“I know what I can handle.”

“I’ll buy you another meal.”

The idea of food must’ve been appealing, because she paused and chewed on her lower lip. “I don’t know if I have time for a meal.”

“I’ll make it worth your while.” He jingled his coin purse.

“Why are you doing this?” But she was eying the coins.

“I know no one in this City. It’s been a long few days. I want someone to talk to, even if it’s not about much of anything.” He shrugged. The truth was that he wasn’t certain why, but fate seemed to be telling him something. Fiyero almost laughed at the thought. He had never believed in fate. But he knew he was drawn to her in some strange sort of way. He just didn’t know why or what it meant.

She appeared to be suspicious of this, but shrugged. “I suppose it couldn’t hurt. It might help me avoid…” Her eyes flickered downwards. “Never mind that.”

He didn’t know what she was so ashamed of suddenly, but he took her hand gently and tugged her back out of the alleyway. “Come. I tried this restaurant just up the street last night and it was delicious. I want to try their pasta today.”

She followed silently for the most part, nodding “yes,” or shaking her head “no,” at questions she was asked.

“You know, if I don’t finish my food, perhaps you could take the rest. They have large portions here.” He commented as they were seated. Fiyero tried to ignore the uneasy gaze that the host had given Elphaba.

“No! Then they’d know about… it’s just not a good idea.”

“Know about what? And who are they?”

“Nothing. I just meant that my comrades would find out that I’d gotten some help and they’d be jealous. It’s not a big deal.” She insisted.

“You seem to be running from something,” he observed.

“Running from what? I have no home, no job and no family. There is nothing to run from.” Elphaba stuck her nose in the air indignantly. “And nowhere to run to,” she added softly.

“If you say so. How did you end up here, Elphaba? You said you have no family.”

“At least no family that I know of,” she clarified. “I was left behind a small convenience store as an infant. My comrades took me in. I’ve lived on the streets ever since.”

“That sounds terrible.”

“I don’t want your pity, Prince Fiyero. Is that what this is to you? Some charity case to make you feel better about yourself?”

“No. And would it matter if it was?”

“I’m not sure.” She sighed and looked at the small salad that had been placed in front of her. She seemed confused.

“What is it?”

“I haven’t even ordered yet.”

“There’s a salad before that, then the entrée and dessert, usually.” It occurred to him that she’d probably never really eaten anywhere even remotely nice before. She wasn’t even familiar with what happened in a restaurant. “Go ahead, dig in.”

She glanced up at him before uneasily looking at the silverware. At the sandwich shop, she’d been able to eat with her hands. “Why are there two forks?”

He reached over and picked up one of them. “This one is for salad.”

“Why? What’s the point?”

“It works better, I guess.” It had never occurred to him to ask. They’d always had them this way at home in Kiamo Ko.

She delicately took the fork he was holding out to her, as though she were afraid to break it. “That’s silly and wasteful.”

“I never thought of it that way.” Though he did realize it was somewhat pointless, and had always thought so. Wasteful wasn’t something that had occurred to him, though.

She munched on her salad. “How rich are you?” After a moment, she bit her lip. “That was rude. I’m sorry. It’s an inappropriate question, isn’t it?”

“It’s a perfectly acceptable question, Elphaba, from you. We’re well off enough to take care of ourselves.”

“We?”

“My brother and I.”

“Is he with you in the City?”

“He needed to keep an eye on things back home.”

She cocked her head and blurted. “What about your parents? Can’t they?”

Fiyero bit his lip. He knew Elphaba meant nothing by it. She probably had no training in social niceties or tact. “My parents are gone.” Uncertain that she’d understand that, he added, “Dead.”

“Oh… I… well, neither of us has parents, huh?” She seemed to realize she’d touched on a tough topic. “I shouldn’t have asked.”

“No, it’s fine. My mother died when I was born and my father died three years ago on a trip to the City. His caravan was attacked by robbers and murderers.” He remembered when his brother had come to tell him the news, the bloodshot eyes and stern expression. “My brother is five years older than me and he’s been in charge ever since.”

“So your brother is the king?”

“Yes. He and his wife spend most of the time in the palace. I usually make the visits to the City. He has a young son that he doesn’t want to leave quite yet and he doesn’t feel ready to leave his post for any amount of time. I’m sure that’ll come as he grows more confident.” Fiyero looked down. “What are your, uh, comrades like?”

She shrugged. “They took me in when I was a child. That’s all there really is to it. I owe them my life. I could never have survived on my own without them.”

“They must be good people.”

“In their way.” But when he looked in her eyes, he saw she didn’t mean it.


	4. Sweet Charity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elphaba is reluctant to take more charity from Fiyero, but realizes she has no choice.

“Look,” he said an hour later as they finished their meal, “let me give you a little to get you through the next day or two.”

Elphaba had never wanted to refuse money before, but she felt the urge to now. However, she couldn’t afford to. She hadn’t gotten any money whatsoever that day, and what she “owed,” changed depending on how little she brought home. If she was at almost enough, Majik would only take her mouth. If she was closer to having only half of what she needed, he’d insist on intercourse. But if she had nothing or close to it… she shivered. It had only happened once. And she’d make sure it would never happen again. Images flooded her mind of her lying on her stomach, biting into her cheek as he pressed her into the dirt floor, grunting and groaning. She recalled not being able to lie on her back for days, and suffering just to walk around. Just the thought almost made her ill. Elphaba blinked quickly. Holding her hand out (and feeling ashamed of it for the first time), she smiled. “Thank you.”

“It’s the least I can do.” He placed a handful of coins into hers and held his hand there for a just a moment. She felt her hand become warm beneath his before he drew it away. “I must say,” he continued, “it has been nice having someone to talk to. Perhaps we’ll meet again.”

She wished to, but she also knew it was probably best if they didn’t. This in and of itself had been a bad idea. The moment he walked away, she’d be sorting through the coins making sure he hadn’t accidentally given any of his own currency this time. Once she’d had an excuse, but a second time would raise eyebrows. “Perhaps,” was all she managed to say. They exited the restaurant and he seemed to hesitate.

“Is there anything you need?” He asked suddenly. “I hate to leave you alone like this.”

She shook her head violently. “I’ll be fine, Prince Fiyero. You’ve done more than enough.” And that much was true. “I am grateful for your kindness.”

He smiled at that. “I am grateful for your company. Goodbye, Miss Elphaba.”

“Goodbye, Prince Fiyero.”

“Elphaba… on the off chance we meet again, you can just call me Fiyero.”

“I’ll remember that.” For some reason, the familiarity of it all warmed her heart. She turned and looked at him one last time before she wandered away.

Elphaba found a quiet alley to read for the rest of the day. The prince had given her more than enough money. She didn’t need to beg or steal and as long as she was out of harm’s way, she wouldn’t. When she’d been younger, she hadn’t needed to steal at all. People had a sort of sympathy for a deformed young girl on the streets. But the sympathy had waned and stealing had been her only recourse. It didn’t mean she liked it. So when she could avoid it, she did.

The young man’s behavior still perplexed her. He treated her kindly and didn’t seem to want anything in return. It didn’t make any sense to her. Even she was using him in her way, for food and money. Had he not been able to offer those things, she wouldn’t have had the time for him whether she’d wanted to or not.

“You’re a few minutes earlier than usual,” Zestra commented as she walked into their hut. “I trust that means we’ll eat well tomorrow?”

Elphaba only nodded, clutching the coins close to her.

“Good, good.” Majik grabbed her wrist and opened her hand. “Very nice, sweet Elphaba. You’ve done well the past few days.”

“I found a new spot – a lot of wealthy people walk right past me all day. Many of them never even notice me. They’re too involved in their own lives.”

“Serves them right.”

Did it? She tore her wrist away. Elphaba hugged herself uneasily. She saw the way Majik was eyeing her again and she cringed. “It’s enough, isn’t it?”

“For the moment.”

She didn’t like the vague threat. Was he about to demand that she bring home more? She couldn’t possibly meet those expectations! Instead, she lowered her head. “I’m going to get a breath of fresh air.” More and more, the small hut that she’d always considered to be protection seemed stifling.

“I wouldn’t be so obvious about trying to get away from him,” Gergin commented as he smoked from the side of the building. She hated that habit – knowing she was the one who paid for it. They wouldn’t need to steal so much if it weren’t for that disgusting vice that he shared with Majik.

“I wasn’t.”

“We all have to pay our dues somehow.”

She decided not ask how he paid his. But she thought maybe she knew. Zestra was his wife. They’d never officially married, but he referred to her as such. However, on occasion (mostly before Elphaba had been of age), Majik had taken Zestra to bed. Neither Gergin nor Zestra had allowed a single word of protest. What had Majik done for them that they owed? It was long before she’d been old enough to even understand the debt she owed, that was for sure. “Isn’t there some other way?”

“That’s what he wants. You’re lucky it’s not worse. What would you do if you had to make money on your own? Where would you live? Who would’ve taught you?”

“I know! Did he teach you?” Elphaba had never considered that. Gergin wasn’t much younger than Majik, but that didn’t mean he’d been on the streets as long. Majik was in his forties. He’d probably lived this life as long as he could remember. But Gergin… he may have actually been normal once. She eyed him.

“He did. And Zestra.” Gergin shrugged. “She cares about you, you know. Like her own.”

She’d heard that before. And most of the time, she believed it. But it was hard to believe when Majik was touching her and Zestra sat only feet away doing nothing. Thank Oz that wouldn’t happen tonight. “So you’ve said.”

Gergin slapped her across the face. “Don’t you dare question us!”

She brought her hand to the sting in her cheek. “I didn’t mean it that way, for Lurline’s sake!”

“Well then be more aware of yourself next time.” Gergin wasn’t fazed at all. He stomped out the ashes of his cigarette. “I’ll see you inside.”

Elphaba shuddered as the air nipped at her skin. She’d considered running before, but had always stayed because she knew she owed these people more than she could repay. This was her lot in life, and she had accepted it. Survival was all that mattered.

Majik smiled kindly at her as she stepped back in. It was a smile she hadn’t seen in quite some time. “You don’t seem to be yourself lately, Elphaba. Is there something wrong?”

“Not at all. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Let the poor girl be. She brought us enough to eat on for two days,” Zestra said as she cut vegetables with a dull knife. “I’m sure it’s been a long day.”

“It has,” she confirmed – though not for the reasons her companions might have thought.

“Then you can skip dinner and get some rest.” Majik snapped, his face changing back into the grotesque anger that she’d come to know too well lately. There were times when she wondered if he’d rather her come back with less money so that he could use her. This was one of them.

She didn’t mind skipping dinner. Her stomach still felt full from the meal the Vinkun prince had bought her. And she’d gone days in a row without food before. Missing dinner was nothing. “I suppose I will.” Elphaba grabbed her tattered blanket and curled up in her corner.

She listened to Zestra, Gergin and Majik chatter aimlessly. Apparently, Majik had gone out and surveyed one of the huts that had opened up when a family of Quadlings had disappeared. It was no bigger or nicer than theirs, and so there was no reason to take it. She didn’t much care where they lived as long as she had a roof, anyway.

Slowly, she drifted off to sleep. But in her dreams, the young Vinkun boy came to her, whispering soothing words and caressing her cheeks. None of the words were clear, but she could tell they must be soothing by the way his voice sounded. It was strange, though, she usually just dreamed in abstract pictures and colors, nothing concrete.

In the morning, she woke before everyone else. She decided not to bother with breakfast and left in a hurry. Elphaba knew she wouldn’t be so lucky to get a handout again today, and she had a lot of work to do.


	5. A Rescue Mission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fiyero asks Elphaba to come back to Kiamo Ko with him, to both of their surprise.

This time, he went looking for her. He couldn’t get her out of his head. Fiyero wasn’t exactly sure what he was going to do about that, but he knew he needed to do something. And he only had two days left in the City. Of course, she wasn’t going to stay in the exact same place daily. She didn’t want to be found by anyone she might have stolen from. But he also figured she’d stay somewhere nearby. And so he hunted her. Fiyero had never been one for hunting, but he’d had his training just as he was supposed to.

He began to look through alleys, though most of what he saw was unpleasant – women of the night giving pleasure to men, people shooting sparkling liquid into their veins. It wasn’t until he was about to give up that he found her. She was crouched over counting whatever change she had in her hand, cloak wrapped tightly around her. He made sure to make a lot of noise as he approached her, since she startled easily.

Her head shot up. “Prince Fiyero?”

"I’ve been looking for you all day,” he admitted. “I wanted to find you.”

“Why? Don’t you have other things to do?”

“Not today. Tomorrow, yes. I leave the City the day after that.”

“It’s late, Fiyero. I need to get back.”

“Wait.” He grabbed her arm. “Come back to the Vinkus with me.” He hadn’t meant to say that. After all, the idea had barely occurred to him. What a ridiculous proposition! But he could make sure she was safe. His brother might not exactly approve, but he’d deal with that later. “You wouldn’t want for food again.”

“I don’t even know where this is coming from…”

“I just want to help you. I swear.”

She lowered her eyes. “The people who took me in did everything for me, Fiyero. I owe them… And I won’t leave them.”

"You can’t possibly tell me you want to go back.”

“They raised me, fed me, gave me shelter. They are my life, Fiyero.” But she wouldn’t meet his eyes, which made him think she didn’t quite believe that.

“They wouldn’t want you to have a better life? Everyone deserves what’s best for them. You shouldn’t have to live like this just because of circumstance.”

“That’s how the world works.” Elphaba shrugged. “Fiyero, I don’t know what things are like in the Vinkus, but my people, we’re a family. I’m not leaving them.”

“If they had this opportunity, would they leave you?” He shot back.

She folded her arms across her chest. “You couldn’t understand.”

“I’m offering you a better life.”

“No, you’re making a stupid gesture because you feel guilty about being rich. You said yourself you hadn’t even thought it out. What would I do? I don’t belong there, Fiyero.”

“You don’t belong here, that’s for sure! That is no life for someone like you.”

“Someone like me? You barely know me.”

He realized the conversation had dissolved into an argument, and he tried to bring it back around. “Elphaba, please. I didn’t mean to upset you. I really do just mean to help.”

“Well you aren’t! I can’t just walk away. It’s not that simple. This has been my whole life. I could never be anywhere else.”

Fiyero knew she had a point. After all, how would she fit in among his people? She didn’t understand social niceties or manners. It didn’t bother him, but he knew that if she were to return with him, it would affect how others looked at her. “We could get you a tutor or something.”

“You’re being ridiculous. I’m nothing to you. Please, you’re starting to make me uncomfortable.” She brushed her hair from her face. “Maybe you really do mean well, but you’re not being logical about this. I don’t have as terrible a life as you think I do. I’m alive, not ill, and I do usually eat once a day. It could be much worse.”

“How?”

“I could be dead or sickly.”

“So survival is the only thing in your life? That’s no way to live!”

“At least I am alive. Do you understand that what you just asked is almost insulting? I don’t need someone to take care of me and provide for me!”

“I never meant that you couldn’t.”

“That’s because you’re too spoiled, too sheltered to even understand what this life is like. You may be privileged, Fiyero, but you’re ignorant, too!”

“How can you say that? If I were ignorant, I would’ve had you arrested and sent to Southstairs that first day without a second thought, thinking you deserved it.”

“And instead you decided to be Prince Charming and sweep me out of poverty? Are you living some fairytale? I’m not going to be a part of it.”

“Why do you always question my motives?”

“Because you make no sense. Are you insane?”

“No. Apparently I’m just too damned nice!” He snapped.

Her lips twitched at that, as though she were trying not to smile. “I didn’t think you could get so fierce. It’s nice to know you’re more than just pathetic sap.”

He couldn’t help it. He laughed. “I’m glad you think so much of me.”

“Apparently you thought enough of me to try and take me home. You think I’m so easy?”

“You think that’s what I wanted?” And with the thought put in his head, he couldn’t help himself but to look at her for a moment. Her dress was too tight, and left her small curves more evident than they probably needed to be. And her skin shone in a way that he could only describe as alluring. Refocusing himself, he noticed the harsh slant of her nose, the depth of her eyes. He could’ve sworn he hadn’t thought of her that way until that moment. But she didn’t need that from him on top of everything else, and he knew it.

“I don’t know! What else does a man want from a woman, anyway? I’ve lived on the streets. You act as though I’m more innocent than I am.”

He raised his eyebrows at her. “Oh?”

"I’ve had a share of life experience.” She looked away for a moment before meeting his eyes. “And you’re perfectly innocent, _Prince_ Fiyero?”

When had this dissolved into a conversation about their sexual histories? “I’m not. But I always thought the rest of Oz was a bit more… conservative.”

“The streets have their own rules.” She shrugged.

“You’re trying to detract from the topic at hand, Elphaba. I asked you to come to the Vinkus with me. And no, that’s not what I want from you.”

“And I told you I can’t. Stop asking.”

He sighed, defeated. “At least let me feed you?”

“I don’t have time.”

He dropped several coins into her palm. “Then at least take this.”

She looked up at him, and at once her face became clear. He saw in her eyes all the fear she’d been masking, the frightened girl behind the strong-willed exterior she’d put up. But as soon as she blinked, it was gone again. “Thank you,” she murmured.

“Are you certain you won’t go with me?” He placed a gentle hand on her shoulder.

“I’m certain.”

“If you change your mind, I’m in room 227 at the Ozian.”

“Thank you for the offer, but it was misplaced.” She smiled sadly. “You’re a kind person, Fiyero. Please, don’t let the world break you.”

“The same to you,” he whispered. Fiyero watched her walk away sighed. He’d tried, and that was all he could hope for. As he turned and walked back to his hotel, thunder rumbled in the distance. Maybe he just needed to get home.


	6. Save Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get worse for Elphaba before they can get better, and she finally decides to take Fiyero's offer of help.

It began raining that evening. She spent the night huddled and avoiding the leaks in the roof. When it didn’t stop raining the next morning, she’d known there’d be a problem. And Majik had only grinned at her. He knew of her allergy, and he knew it meant she couldn’t go out. Her heart had thudded in her chest with dread, and she closed her eyes, hoping beyond hope the rain would end.

But it hadn’t. She hugged herself closely and wiped helplessly at her tears. She had tried not to cry, but at some point the tears had let loose. He hadn’t seen them. It had been too dark, anyway. Elphaba crawled to the corner and retched, shaking. Since she hadn’t gone out at all, he expected her to give everything, every way. So she’d steeled herself and done what he asked.

It wasn’t even what Majik had done to her that was affecting her so. It was what he had said. At one point, as his breath coated her skin with its stink, he’d whispered, “Maybe we’re missing out here. I think you’d make good money. A lot of men would pay just to be with something different, someone strange. And you certainly feel tight in all the right places.”

She’d almost snapped right then. Elphaba had lowered herself to levels she’d never thought she could go. But selling herself, her body… she didn’t think she could stand it. She had to run. A line had to be drawn.

Fiyero had offered her a way out, one that seemed much too good to be true. But anything had to be better than what she might have coming. Even if he did use her, or put her to work somewhere, what was that compared to the sickening thought of letting anyone and everyone have her?

Did she deserve the freedom, the life he was offering? She’d never done anything good in her life. Could she possibly make up for all the bad she had done? Was that even an option?

She heard the rain slow to a drizzle. The Ozian was across town. Her cloak wasn’t exactly the greatest. There was no way she could make it there now without a lot of pain. She inched towards the curtain and the doorway, watching the rain patter into the ground. Maybe it hadn’t stopped raining, but she’d be ready when and if it did.

She’d almost fallen back to sleep, the lull of the rain singing her to sleep, when it finally stopped. Shaking herself out of her stupor, she dragged herself up. Elphaba reached for her worn knapsack, putting her only other dress and a small bottle of oil inside, eyeing Majik in case he stirred – not that it mattered; she was faster than he was.

Avoiding the puddles, she headed across town in a fog. Room 227, she repeated in her head. How had it come to this? She was relying on a perfect stranger.

“Elphaba?” He was groggy when he answered the door, standing shirtless in only a pair of shorts. “You’re trembling.”

Was she? “I’ll come with you,” she blurted. “If you meant it.”

“What happened?”

“Is that the only way you’ll let me go with you? If I tell you?” She whispered. It was too shameful to talk about. And he didn’t need to know. There were only two reactions to that. He’d see her as disgusting or he’d see her as a victim. She didn’t want either.

He pulled her inside and drew her body against him, hugging her. “Forget that. Yes, you can still come with me. I’m leaving in several hours by train. You look shaken.”

“It’s been a long day.” She murmured, pulling back. She’d never been touched with such warmth, embraced with actual kindness, and it threw her.

“Do you need a bath? I don’t mean to be rude, but I can’t imagine you had the most sanitary conditions. I can have someone draw you a warm bath… it might relax you.”

She sighed. “You might as well know. I’m allergic to water.”

“Then how…?”

“Oil.”

“It’s been raining for almost twenty-four hours, Elphaba.”

“It just stopped.”

“Then at least come sit and talk to me. You don’t have to tell me what happened. But if you are going to come back to Kiamo Ko with me, maybe I should know a bit more about you – and you about me. I think that’s fair.”

“Kiamo Ko?” Elphaba hesitated before sitting on the bed.

He flushed. “It’s the name of the castle.”

“You name your castle?” The idea was somewhat absurd.

“It’s ridiculous, I know.”

She sat down beside him, and felt the mattress give beneath her weight. The sheets under her hands were smoother than any fabric she’d ever touched. Elphaba had never felt silk, but she imagined that it must be like this. Perhaps this was silk. “You want to know about me? Really?”

“Of course.” He smiled kindly at her. “I could start if you like.”

“That’s a good idea.”

“Well, let’s see. You already know I’m a prince. I told you about my family. I’ve spent most of my life at Kiamo Ko. I learned to fight and hunt more than I learned anything out of a book, but I’ve always been fond of academics, though I’m not as good as it as I might like. I’m particularly fond of histories.”

She couldn’t help but be a little impressed. “I’ve done some reading, though I’m not nearly so educated as you.”

“You’re self-taught. It didn’t mean you aren’t smart. Just listening to you speak I can tell you’re intelligent, Elphaba.”

“Thank you.” She couldn’t remember the last time she’d received a real compliment. It felt strange and nice. “I really don’t know that there’s much to say about me. My days all blend together. I’m not unique from anyone else who has lived on the street.”

"You are. You’re smarter, more driven. How, exactly, did you read? I can’t imagine you had a lot of books to read.”

She felt her cheeks darken. “Well, if I had extra money before I went back and reported it to my comrades, I’d purchase a used book or magazine. I hid them. I usually sold them back when I was done. As for before that, they taught me basic letters and numbers. It would come in handy when I was counting money.”

“What were your comrades like?”

“Older than I. I told you, they took me in.”

“How many people were in your little group?”

“There were four of us. Majik, Gergin and Zestra. Majik was quite a bit older. But Gergin and Zestra were maybe ten or fifteen years older than I – and a couple. They’ve been together as long as I remember.”

She remembered when she’d been younger, the way they’d cared for her. Zestra had been much more like a mother to her, then. She’d sat with her and calmed her occasional tears. She’d been the one who had helped her find oil to cleanse herself. She’d taught her the little cooking she knew. And before she’d become a teenager, Zestra often shared her portion of the food with Elphaba, smiling and telling her a growing girl needed food.

Elphaba had left Zestra alone with Majik and Gergin. Gergin was fine – Zestra loved him. But without Elphaba there to divert Majik’s unwanted attentions… how could she have left her like that? Elphaba shook her head.

When Fiyero placed a hand on her knee, she didn’t flinch. “Whatever happened with them last night, you did the right thing.”

Elphaba stared at his fingers on the tattered cloth of her dress. “Fiyero, if you want me, I’m willing. I know you said before it wasn’t what you wanted, but I owe you more than I could ever give back.”

He drew his hand back immediately. “No.”

Perhaps he found her distasteful because of her time on the streets, or her skin. “I understand.”

“Do you? Elphaba, you just tried to trade me sex in return for something I want no payment for. I wouldn’t feel right doing anything of the sort. And honestly, it concerns me that you even offered. You haven’t ever had to do something like that just to pay your way, have you?”

Not exactly, at least not in the way he was probably thinking. She shook her head. “I’m sorry. It was inappropriate. I just… I always owe someone something. And before, I could help return the favors with money if I had to. But you don’t really seem to need that like my friends did.”

“I certainly don’t.”

“And the only other thing I had to give was…”

“Your body.”

“Exactly. I didn’t mean to assume you would… it was wrong of me.” But then why was she here? She knew that she’d only been kept around by Majik because he’d thought her strange skin might make extra coin. “I just… why are you doing this for me, Fiyero?”

“Because I want to. Isn’t that enough?” He gently placed the hand back on her knee.

She was surprised at how nice it felt each time he touched her. “Not for most people.”

“Well, I’m not most people. You need to learn to trust me. When I say something, I mean it. If you’re going to live with me, you should probably get used to that.”


	7. Privacy and Policy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The difference between Elphaba and Fiyero's lifestyles becomes glaringly obvious.

He listened to more of her stories about her friends for the next few hours. Fiyero could tell she was avoiding something, but he knew better than to force it. She attacked when she felt threatened, and he didn’t need that. He wanted her to feel comfortable with him. So when she trailed off and stopped talking, he finished packing and they headed to the train.

The compartment barely had a floor. It was just large enough to hold the full-sized bed. “I was supposed to be the only one in the compartment.” He’d hoped there’d at least be a large enough space on the floor for one of them to sleep, but there wasn’t. They’d have to share a bed.

Elphaba shrugged. “You think I haven’t had to share a blanket before? Sometimes when the Gale Force raided our little, uh, neighborhood, we lost almost everything and had to share whatever we could come up with. It’s not a big deal unless you make it so.”

Every time she spoke, he was reminded of just how different their lives had been. “Why would they raid a homeless colony?”

“Because they had nothing better to do.” Elphaba sat down on the bed. “I don’t know. I didn’t concern myself with their motives.”

“You certainly seem concerned with my motives.” He observed.

“I just left everyone I know to follow you to the middle of nowhere. Of course I’m concerned about _your_ motives. I realize you want me to trust you, but I don’t know that I know you well enough for that yet. I haven’t exactly been trained to trust anyone.”

“You didn’t trust your comrades?”

“In some ways, yes. But their motives were much clearer than yours. And really, I didn’t fully trust anyone.”

“That sounds like an awful life, Elphaba.” And he wanted to change it. “But if we’re going to talk about trust, here’s what I want from you in that regard. I want you to at least trust that I didn’t do this because I want something from you. I want to trust that when you say or do something around me, it has nothing to do with what I’ve done for you. We are friends. You don’t owe me anything.” He sat down beside her.

She smiled genuinely at that, and he was struck by how beautiful she was when she smiled. “You really are too kind.”

“I’d rather be that than the opposite.”

She giggled a little. “That is probably true.” Sighing, she murmured, “I am a bit tired now that everything has slowed down.”

“I am, too. Do you have anything to sleep in?”

“I just slept in my clothes…” She looked embarrassed.

Fiyero dug through his things and found an old shirt. “Here.”

Elphaba immediately began unbuttoning her dress and it fell past her shoulders. He gasped and she looked back at him. “What?”

“I can look away, you know.” Fiyero tore his eyes away from her body and did exactly that.

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking. I… privacy wasn’t really a commodity we had before.” He could hear the smirk in her voice. “I made you uncomfortable, didn’t I?”

“It was unexpected.” Though the sight hadn’t exactly been unpleasant. He decided he’d change the subject a bit. “We’ll get you a few items of clothing when we get to Kiamo Ko.”

“You don’t have to…”

“I do.” He turned back to her, relieved to see her fully covered. “And I’d also like to help you with learning. We’ve got a lot of books. I studied with a teacher for years. If you don’t mind, that is. I know you’re smart enough to catch on fairly quickly.”

“I think I would like that.”

Fiyero looked at her. “Would you mind looking away while I change?”

She rolled her eyes. “It’s nothing I haven’t seen before. But if it makes you feel better, for the sake of propriety, sure.” Elphaba made a show of hiding her eyes with her hands.

He stepped out of his clothes and threw on his pajamas. “It’s safe to look again.”

She dropped her hands. “I guess I can feel safer knowing you’re clearly not interested in seeing me naked.”

He laughed, but inwardly he was wishing she hadn’t said that. Because the image of her dress falling down her shoulders had reemerged in his mind. “You are perfectly safe with me.” And he meant that. Fiyero resolved to never pursue his attraction to her. He couldn’t in his current state, anyway, what with Sarima… and even if that weren’t the case, he shouldn’t. She needed to make her own decisions.

Fiyero started to worry about what he was going to say to Rodine, his brother. He was bringing home some random girl, and he probably wouldn’t welcome the idea. But he couldn’t leave her there, no future to speak of. And he knew something awful had happened to her, even if she refused to tell him so. The fearful look in her eyes when she’d arrived at his door had told him enough.

Rod would probably want Elphaba to do some sort of work to earn her keep, but Fiyero hoped to talk him out of it. He wanted to have time to teach her. And he also didn’t want her to feel like a servant, though she probably would feel better knowing she was at least giving something back. She seemed to feel like the balance between them was based on what each of them had to give and she owed him.

“What’s it like at Kiamo Ko?” She asked, interrupting his wondering.

“A lot quieter than the City. It’s a bit isolated, and there’s a lot of wildlife running about. Do you know anything about the Vinkus?”

“Not a lot, no.”

“Well, few people ever really come out there. They consider us barbaric and uncivilized. We’re not as technologically advanced. And our culture doesn’t exactly welcome traditional religion.”

“No Lurline? Unnamed God?”

“There’s a small church just over the border, but no one really attends. Were you religious?”

She shook her head, her braid coming undone. “Not at all. I think religion is just a fairytale people turn to in order to feel better about their lives.”

“I’d never considered that… Now, there is a little bit of religion. Some of the elderly in my tribe still worship what we refer to as the old gods. But most of us don’t practice anything at all.”

“And what about the wildlife?”

“It’s a bit dangerous if you don’t know how to handle yourself, but if you don’t leave the castle you’ll be fine. We hunt for our food. If food becomes scarce, sometimes we do pick up and move around in caravans.”

“So you’re a bit nomadic, then?”

“That would be the best way to describe it, yes.”

“Why would people think you’re uncivilized, though? You are probably the most civilized person I know.”

He smiled at that. “Well, my parents went through great pains to train both my brother and I in the ways of high society so that we would fit in when we traveled to other provinces. They were very conscious of how the rest of Oz looked at us, and they wanted badly to change that.” He patted her knee. “You did say you were tired, didn’t you?”

She nodded. “Yes.”

“Then perhaps we should sleep. It’s a bit of a journey. There will be more time to ask about what the Vinkus is like later.” He got up and moved to the head of the bed, pulling back the blankets. “You’ll be safe. That’s all you need to worry about right now.”

“Thank you,” she murmured. Elphaba got up and moved to the opposite side of the bed. When she set herself down, he noticed her rubbing her hands on the sheets, pressing her fingers into the mattress. “This is… very comfortable.”

Fiyero bit back a laugh. The beds on these trains were not known for being comfortable. But it was, sadly, probably the most comfortable thing she’d ever slept on. “It’s not so bad,” he said carefully.

She tugged the covers over herself. “Goodnight, then. Thank you, for what must be the hundredth time.”

He looked at the girl sharing his bed. She had turned away and closed her eyes. “You’re welcome,” he told her. Fiyero flipped over and stared at the wall. He tried to forget that there was someone beside him, but there was no mistaking the feel of another body on the mattress, of the subtle motion of the blankets as she breathed. He had wanted to help her, to make her life better and now she was here. He hoped he’d made the right decision.


	8. Some Sort of Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The new friends learn more about one another.

When Elphaba woke, Fiyero was still asleep. She looked out their small window. It felt strange, still, like she was in a dream. Had she really left? Was she really sitting here in a train compartment with a perfect stranger going to some place she’d never been? And did he really want nothing in return? Elphaba looked over at the sleeping prince, finding nothing but confusion.

It was hard to believe that someone could be so genuinely kind. But she’d offered him the only thing she had, and he’d refused. What could she possibly be worth to him that he’d be willing to take her in? Maybe green skin was admired in the Vinkus. Perhaps he intended to kill her and skin her. He did say people considered Vinkuns to be barbaric… but looking at him, she knew he was not capable of that sort of violence. Maybe he intended to sell her into slavery. She hadn’t really thought this out and she was starting to realize she might’ve, for the first and only time, been too trusting in this young man. Then again, could anything be worse than what Majik had been about to force upon her? She shivered and hugged herself.

Her motion woke Fiyero and he rubbed his eyes and looked at her. “Good morning. How long have you been up?”

“Just a moment.” Elphaba got up and stretched. She turned around and he jerked his head as though he hadn’t been looking at her. She didn’t understand why, but she shrugged.

“Are you hungry?”

For a moment, she could only stare at him. Was this what rich people did, slept and ate all the time? Of course she was hungry. She was always hungry. Elphaba nodded.

“It’s probably about lunch at this point. We probably could’ve had breakfast before we fell asleep, but I was too tired to bother. I needed that nap. You seemed like you did, too.”

Elphaba couldn’t remember the last time she’d taken a nap. She also couldn’t remember the last time she’d actually eaten lunch. Dinner was the most common, breakfast if they were lucky. But lunch? Her stomach growled at the thought. “I could use some food.”

He eyed her for a moment. “Do you want to go out there or should I get us some food? No offense, but all of your clothes are too small and I just worry you’ll be uncomfortable. People stare. But that’s up to you.”

A moment alone sounded nice. “You can go. Thank you.” She didn’t much care if people looked at her. She was used to that. But she needed to breathe.

“Is there anything you like?”

She’d never had the option. It was always whatever they’d had around, whatever was cheapest. There had always been things that tasted better than others, but food was food. “Um, I don’t think so.”

He nodded and wandered out of the compartment.

The moment he was gone, she rushed to his trunk and dug through his things. He had mostly clothes, a little money and a nice scarf – a woman’s scarf. None of this told her anything. At the bottom, he had two books. She thumbed through them quickly. One appeared to be a novel about a fantasy world. Another was more of a textbook about Ozian history and politics. She placed them back where they belonged and sat back down on the bed.

Fiyero entered a few moments later holding two plates. “Pasta?”

“That’s fine with me.” They’d rarely been able to afford pasta. Sometimes they had noodles without any sauce, though. She watched as he twirled the noodles on his fork and tried to do the same. “So tell me more about Kiamo Ko. You told me a bit about the Vinkus, what about your brother? Your friends?”

He swallowed a bite and then smiled at her. “My brother is strict, but fair. He had to take on too much too young though, and I worry that has changed him.”

“How will he react to…?” _To me_.

“I’m not exactly certain.” He admitted. “But you are my guest, not his.”

“Will he see it that way?”

“I hope so.”

“What about your friends?”

“There’s Cerstiq, a boy from the village. We’ve been playmates since we were young. And then there’s…” He trailed off and looked at her, biting his lip. “There’s Sarima.”

“Also your friend?”

He sighed heavily. “I have to be married at the age of twenty-one. My brother wanted me to have a good prospect. That would be Sarima. We’re seeing each other.”

Why was she suddenly saddened by that? “You don’t seem exactly thrilled with that,” she observed, trying to keep her voice level.

“Oh, don’t get me wrong. Rod made a decent match. She is a lovely young lady from the best family in the tribe (outside of ours, of course). And we get along just fine.”

She felt like there was more he wasn’t saying, but she only nodded. “Of course.”

“She’s not the smartest, in the conventional sense. Women in the Vinkus don’t learn to read most of the time, so she hasn’t exactly had a chance to study much.”

Elphaba wondered what the two of them talked about, then. “Why don’t you teach her? You wanted to help me learn.”

“I… I don’t think she much cares to learn.”

She couldn’t imagine why anyone wouldn’t want to. But she knew better than to speak ill of anyone she hadn’t met, especially given that Fiyero was her benefactor. “What does she do all day?”

“She has five sisters she helps care for, doing cleaning, cooking, mending, teaching them to do the same. And sometimes she comes to see me.” His face was flushed now, which looked strange on his dark skin, even stranger under the diamonds on his cheeks. But it was pleasant sort of strange.

Elphaba wondered what it would be like to have someone to care for. She had helped provide for Majik, Gergin and Zestra, but she hadn’t really cared for them. “She must be very busy.”

“In her way.”

“And what do you do all day?”

“Read, hunt, train. My brother is to head the army if there’s ever another tribal war, and I’m expected to be a general. And though we never want for food ourselves, I often lead hunting parties since my brother needs to stay at the castle.”

She had rarely eaten meat. It was expensive and went bad quickly. Besides, she wasn’t certain she was fond of the practice of hunting. Several of the homeless in their camp had been Animal, and she always wondered how anyone could tell the difference between Animal and animal when hunting? “Are there a lot of Animals?”

“Not really. The majority of Animals in Oz tend to stay further north. We just have a lot of animals. When I was younger, I tried talking to a lot of the things we would hunt,” Fiyero laughed. “Nothing ever responded and my father admonished me for scaring the food away.”

She laughed at that, imagining him as a small boy chattering in the wilderness. “What do you usually hunt?”

“Wild boars, buffalo mostly. The occasional bird. I could never really kill a cat or dog, though. In fact, most of the time I ended up bringing them home with me.”

“So the castle is covered with animals, then?” It sounded kind of nice.

“As many as my brother would tolerate, yes. A lot of the dogs sleep with the horses, but I have one who stays with me. Thorn. He’s a good boy. He helps me hunt. The cats just… well, they just wander. We leave the windows open when it’s feasible and they come in and out as they please. Cats aren’t the most social animals.”

“Do you… do you have servants?”

“Just a few. The castle isn’t the biggest, so we don’t need much else. And we like to take care of ourselves.”

She wondered how many qualified as “just a few,” and if he realized how pampered he sounded. Elphaba couldn’t imagine she’d ever feel like she belonged in the strange new place they were headed, but she hadn’t exactly belonged where she’d been, either. Fiyero had been right about that much. A change would do her good.


	9. Bringing Home a Stray

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fiyero faces his brother's disapproval when he introduces his new friend.

The moment his brother set eyes on Elphaba, he knew he'd be in for it. Rod looked her over. Fiyero watched as his brother's eyes took in Elphaba's small dress, her bony figure, her unkempt hair. He hadn't even greeted them yet, and already he was judging her. After a moment, his brother looked to him expectantly. "We have a visitor, Fiyero?"

"This is Elphaba," Fiyero said nervously. "She's going to be staying a while."

Rod sighed and looked over the bridge of his nose at the green girl. "Pleased to meet you." But he didn't even shake her hand. Instead, he turned to Fiyero. "May I speak with you in private?"

Elphaba looked at him uneasily, still standing in the entryway, but she smiled at him in a silent acknowledgement that he could go ahead and leave her there.

"What in Oz are you doing? I know you have a habit of bringing home strays, but stray _people_ , Fiyero?" Rod demanded as soon as they were out of earshot.

"She was homeless, Rod! What was I supposed to do? Leave her there to starve?"

"Do you know how many homeless people there are in Oz? We can't take them all in!"

"We can take this one, though. She's smart and resourceful. It wouldn't hurt."

"Father always worried you'd be taken advantage of. I shouldn't have let you go to the City alone." Rod groaned, pacing.

"She didn't take advantage of me! I wanted to help her. I had to beg her to come out here. She didn't want to leave. Something happened to her, Rod, something awful and she needs to be somewhere safe, somewhere that she's not expected to work herself to death just to get by!"

"What use do we have for this girl? You have a future princess. What, did you need a future mistress? We can find you someone who hasn't been living in the slums of the City!"

Fiyero cringed. "Don't say that! I don't want her for anything like that. I simply thought she deserved a chance." He looked into his brother's hard eyes. "Look, she's already here. We can't very well just throw her out now. At least let her stay a bit."

"Fine! I don't even know how I'm going to explain this to Verda, but she can stay. But I have had it with your charity! We are not a homeless shelter or an animal shelter. Do you understand?"

He nodded.

"And you have a good time explaining to Sarima why you brought home some random street urchin. I'm sure she's going to love that." Rod strode out of the room.

Fiyero went back to Elphaba. "You can stay in one of the guest rooms. Come, I'll show you."

"Your brother wasn't happy." It wasn't a question.

"He's just a little surprised." Fiyero replied evasively. "He wasn't expecting a guest." He led her up the stairs and down the hall and watched her place her meager knapsack in a room too large for her. "My room is just over there." He pointed to the right. "Would you like to see it?"

She gave him a strange look, but nodded. "Sure."

The moment they stepped into the room, he decided it had been a mistake to ask her to come in here. The large bed with soft, cozy quilts, the bookshelf that towered over their heads, the mahogany desk, the couches… it was too much for her. He watched her gaze through the doorway, hesitant to even enter his room. Sweet Oz, he was an idiot! "If you ever need me, you come find me here."

Her eyes were wide as she nodded faintly, still examining the room. "This is your room?"

"Yes."

"It's…" She turned to look at him, and he could see how overwhelmed she was. "It's lovely."

"Thank you."

"Why don't you get settled in? I've got a few people I need to check in with. I'll come find you when it's time to eat. How does that sound?"

"It's your castle," she replied. Before he could say anything else, she was already back in her room.

Fiyero knew he needed to go talk to Sarima. He dug through his trunk and pulled out the scarf he'd bought her. She had dropped a lot of not-so-subtle hints that she expected gifts when he went anywhere. He hoped the scarf would do. Glancing through the doorway into Elphaba's room on his way out, he saw her simply staring out the window. He shook his head and left.

It was a good half an hour just to get to her home in the small village. He rarely made surprise visits. In fact, he rarely visited at all. She usually came to see him. He supposed it was because it was easier for them to be alone in the castle. Her parents probably didn't much care what they did, though. Even if they didn't end up engaged, she'd have _slept_ with the prince. Who could complain about that? It was an honor. It hadn't bothered him before, but now he gagged at the idea. That was probably the only reason Sarima had… he shook himself and shivered a bit. Even though it was usually warm in their arid landscape, it could drop to below freezing at night fairly quickly, and it was starting to get dark.

"Prince Fiyero!" Her father smiled and bowed. "Here to visit Sarima?"

"Yes, Sir. I just returned from the City and I've missed her." He hadn't, really. Fiyero had missed home, and the people, but no one specific.

"I'll fetch her. You two can take a nice walk, if you like. The weather is perfect for it." Sarima's father indicated for Fiyero to step inside and then went to go find his daughter.

Fiyero stood waiting for only a moment before Sarima's mother emerged. "Just a moment, Your Highness. Sarima wasn't expecting you and she needed to touch up a bit."

He resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Sarima was primping. Fiyero never much cared for make-up or extravagance, but Sarima had always insisted upon it. She would never even spend the night at the castle. She always said she wanted to keep that air of mystery in their relationship, but he had a feeling it had more to do with some misplaced idea that she had to be perfect in front of him for every moment. He'd always tried to coax her into opening up around him, being real, but she resisted.

When Sarima finally showed up, she flung herself about him. "Fiyero, sweetie!"

He smiled and stepped back when she dropped her hands. "It's good to see you, Sarima."

"I missed you so." Sarima kissed his cheek, then looked at him.

"I brought you a gift," he told her. He held out the scarf, wrapped in fancy paper.

She took it eagerly. "You didn't have to." Sarima's delicate hands unfolded the paper and she gasped upon looking at the scarf. "Oh, it's beautiful."

"Good. You can wear it while we walk. Your father mentioned how nice the weather was tonight."

She wrinkled her nose a little. "I was hoping for a more relaxing evening."

"A walk is perfectly relaxing." He wasn't certain he liked how often she complained about the activities he picked. And he hadn't even chosen this one. It was her father's idea, for Oz's sake!

She sighed and nodded, wrapping the scarf about her and following him out the door. Sarima slipped her hand into his. "How was your trip?"

"Interesting."

"How so?"

Fiyero bit his lip. "I met some interesting people."

"Oh? I'm so jealous. The City sounds so romantic."

"I wouldn't call it that," he said. "Anyway, I… there was a young woman. She was homeless and needed help. I brought her back with me so she'd have somewhere to stay."

"A girl?" Sarima immediately sounded suspicious.

"I wanted to help her," he repeated.

"And she's staying in the castle? With you?"

"Where else?"

"Are you certain that's the best idea? She could be a thief."

"You haven't met her. I'm sure once you get to know her, you'll understand. Maybe you'll even be friends."

"I doubt that," Sarima muttered.

"Why?"

"I just… Fiyero, you're a very charming young man. I didn't fall for you just because you're a prince, you know. And I worry that maybe this other girl might get the wrong idea. Girls quarrel over boys all the time. I just don't see us being friends."

"I doubt she much cares for me in that regard." He assured her. "I think she's just happy she's out of the City."

"I really don't know, Fiyero. I must admit, I'm not pleased you just brought some strange girl into your home."

"It had nothing to do with what you're worried about," he insisted. "I wanted to help her."

"I'm sure that's what you intended, Fiyero. You've always been too kind for your own good. But I don't trust this."

"You don't even know her!"

"Know her or not, I don't like it."

 


	10. The Cynic and the Optimist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elphaba spends time with Fiyero's best friend. She struggles to understand the strange feelings she's having for Fiyero.

lphaba knew she wasn't exactly welcome at Kiamo Ko. Fiyero was nothing but kind to her, but Rodine always looked at her with disdain. Rod's wife practically ignored her. And the one time she actually interacted with Sarima, the girl looked at her with daggers in her eyes. The only person outside of Fiyero who was kind to her was Cerstiq, Fiyero's best friend. And she wasn't at all used to being around people of her own age, either.

"You absolutely have to tell me more about the City. Goodness, when Fiyero went to the City, I thought he'd bring back a story or two, but you must have hundreds!" The young man's voice sounded as though it still hadn't gone through puberty, though he was the same age as Fiyero. He was the son of the best hunter in the tribe, according to Fiyero, though he did not take after his father in skill. But it was why the two boys had grown up together.

Fiyero was sitting with them, though he was reading a book and appeared somewhat uninterested in the conversation. "Good luck getting them out of her," he commented. "She's not exactly an open book."

Elphaba glared at Fiyero and then turned to the small, lanky boy beside her. "He's right, in a way. I don't have a lot of stories. I spent most of my time on the streets. Those aren't the stories you want to hear." And they weren't the stories she wanted to tell, either. She was not ashamed of her upbringing, and Fiyero had assured her that she could be honest about how she had lived. But she did not much care for personal conversation with strangers. And while Cerstiq was friendly, he was a stranger. The only person she considered her friend at this point was Fiyero, and she still wouldn't tell him most things.

"But the streets are the best place to people watch! I'm sure you've seen all sorts of things." Cerstiq prodded.

Fiyero gave her a look, and she knew what it meant. He wanted to know if she needed him to intervene in the conversation. It exasperated her, how he thought she couldn't handle herself. She merely stuck her nose in the air and smiled at Cerstiq. "I wasn't focused on that, though. I was focused on getting food to eat or finding money. I didn't much care what people did. And when I did have enough, I hid somewhere and read a book. I assure you, there's nothing of interest to tell."

Cerstiq looked disappointed, but smiled anyway. "Oh, well. What did you read?"

"Like you care," Fiyero muttered. "I can't remember the last time you picked up a book, despite how many times I offered to lend you one."

"Excuse me! Just because I don't like to read doesn't mean I'm not interested in what's being read. I just don't like the process. The letters jumble in my head and it hurts me to focus." The young man folded his arms across his chest. "And I'm not a prince. I may have been taught to read a little, but no one much cared beyond that!"

Fiyero merely sighed and went back to his book.

"I read anything I could afford. Unfortunately, the cheapest things were usually romance novels or newspapers. I preferred the newspaper."

Fiyero snorted at that.

"What?" Elphaba demanded.

"I can't imagine you ever reading a romance novel." He finally put his book down.

"Well, I wasn't exactly blessed with every option! I didn't have a library full of books, Fiyero. I only read a few of them. But those books were so blind to reality, reading them made me gag."

"Maybe to your reality. Good things do happen, you know."

She studied him for a moment. The way the diamonds lay on his cheeks accentuated his strong jaw, and one peeked out at his shirt collar, indicating that they went further down. It wasn't the first time she'd looked at him and felt something stir within her, and she didn't understand what it was. Was this attraction? She'd never really felt it before. Besides, he was out of reach. She was little more than a street urchin and he was a prince – not to mention he had Sarima. Elphaba swallowed hard, trying to refocus herself. "I know they do. But not as often as those ridiculous books would like you to believe, and not to me."

"I like to think me helping you was a good thing."

She wouldn't look at him. "I think it was, so far."

Cerstiq wasn't liking the direction that the conversation had turned and changed the subject. "So what did you read in the papers? I'm sure the news in the City is much more amusing than out here."

"Glorified propaganda, really. It was all, 'Our Wonderful Wizard did this today,' and 'this part of Oz is getting remodeled thanks to His Ozness,' Cerstiq. It wasn't that exciting at all. I never saw any of those wonderful remodels, by the way."

"Sweet Oz, you are such a cynic," Fiyero told her.

"Can you blame me?"

"I don't know. You won't tell me what happened to you some of the time!"

"It's not your business. It's my life, Fiyero. Besides, I told you plenty."

"Something made you show up at my door. You weren't going to come. And then you were there."

"I thought you respected that I didn't want to talk about it."

"I do, but you can't expect me to understand what you've been through when I don't know the whole story."

Cerstiq got frustrated at this point. "I'm going back to my place to eat. You two are fighting like my parents! If want that, I'll go sit with them." He got up and walked out.

After a moment, Fiyero said, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to push."

"Well, you're right, too," she acknowledged.

He got up and sat beside her. "You don't have to tell me. But you know you can and I won't judge you. I'd hope you'd understand that by now."

It wasn't his judgment she was afraid of – well, not all of it. If he didn't judge her, he'd pity her. And that might well be worse. "I do understand, Fiyero. But my life is my own." Was it? She was living in _his_ home, eating _his_ food. He might as well own her. Elphaba still couldn't understand what she owed him, and where her place was in this castle. "And I am grateful for everything you've done for me."

"I know you are." He smiled at her, and she couldn't help feeling brighter when he did.

"Maybe one of us should go talk to Cerstiq. He seemed a little mad."

"Ha! He pouts all the time. That's pretty normal. He'll cool down and be back tomorrow. I can guarantee it." Fiyero laughed. "He's a bit melodramatic."

"I noticed."

"He doesn't even come hunting with us anymore. He's useless at it and he just gets so angry. I don't know how it happened. We grew up on those trips. His father was my father's right hand man, but I guess he didn't inherit his father's hunting skill. He is good at gardening and farming, though. He can get anything to grow, and the soil out here is dry and terrible."

"That's good, I suppose."

"There isn't much farmland to be had out here, though. Sometimes I feel like he was born into the wrong race of people. He should've been a Munchkin."

She'd always wondered exactly what she was. She wasn't short, though not all Munchkins were. She didn't have fair complexion like most Gillikinese girls. There was no red tint to her skin and her eyes weren't violet, so she ruled out Quadling. She certainly wasn't Vinkun. Had she been abandoned because of her color, or were her parents the same way? Was there anywhere she was meant to fit? "He's very kind, though."

"He is. Sometimes people say he's too kind and gentle. I've been told something similar on occasion, but he's different."

"You're more level. You know when you need to be tougher. I don't think he does – or can."

"Exactly."

"I suppose those are good qualities in a prince." She caught herself touching his arm and drew her hand away. "Or in a person at all."

"Thank you, I think." He grinned. "You aren't bad, either, you know that, right? You seem to think you have no value to anyone, but you are smart and fierce. And though you had to steal to make ends meet, I really do think you have a moral compass. Some people aren't blessed with that."

Now she was getting uncomfortable. "I knew some of those people," she quipped. "Anyway, I need a walk, if you don't mind."

"I could come with you," he offered.

"No!" She realized how frantic she sounded. "I just… don't trouble yourself. I need quiet. You talk too much." And she ran out of the room, scolding herself as she did. Why was she acting so foolish? Fiyero made her trip over her words and want to open up and it left her lost. Coming out here hadn't seemed like the worst idea on paper, but she was starting to realize it was a lot more complicated than that.


	11. Going Nowhere Fast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fiyero deals frustration both on the part of his brother and Sarima.

He began to tutor Elphaba twice a week. Fiyero didn't think he was the greatest teacher, but maybe he wasn't bad. She caught on so quickly, though perhaps that wasn't his teaching so much as her intelligence. "If there are different species of animal, do they have a different categorization name if they're Animal?" She asked one afternoon as they sat in the library.

"I'd never even thought about that. I don't suppose so. There's nothing in the books about it." Fiyero began flipping through the book, feeling stupid for not being able to answer her question.

"I wonder why not, then. I mean, Animals are clearly superior to animals, shouldn't they be categorized differently?"

"It makes sense."

There was a rustle in the doorway and he looked up to see Sarima standing there. "Your brother told me to come on up."

Fiyero sighed. Of course he had. "Ah. Well, I promised to work with Elphaba for a bit more."

"Oh no, Fiyero, clearly you have other commitments. I can read this on my own." Elphaba gathered up her books. "Thank you, though. I really appreciate how much you've helped me."

"It was nothing."

Elphaba scurried out the door and it took Fiyero a moment to realize he was staring after her. Sarima had her arms folded across her chest. "You two looked cozy."

"You have to sit near each other when you're sharing a book, Sarima." Fiyero rolled his eyes. "I was teaching her about life sciences."

Sarima shrugged and headed back out into the hallway, expecting him to follow. "Shall we go to your room where we can have more privacy?"

He knew she hated being around books. She couldn't read and she didn't see the point. Given that she already seemed to be in an unhappy mood, he decided to follow. "Why not?" He smiled and walked beside her, taking her hand.

"Do you study often?" She asked.

"Not particularly." Actually, that depended on what she considered to be often. They usually studied at least two times a week. He figured he wouldn't say that, though. "What have you been up to?" Maybe a change of subject would be best.

"I helped with breakfast and then headed over here. It's early." She looked at him as though the question were absurd. Sarima waited for him to open his bedroom door and plopped on the bed the moment it was open. "And you've just been… studying?"

He nodded and sat beside her.

"I had no idea you were so interested in academics." Her voice had a hint of sarcasm.

Of course she had no idea. She made it clear she didn't want to hear such things, so he avoided them. "You know I'm to head off to Shiz soon. It'd be best if I went over everything, and what better way than teaching it?"

"What purpose does it serve her, then?"

 _She actually cares about these things_. And maybe… "I don't know. She's very smart. Maybe she has a chance at Shiz of her own merit." Of course, he knew that probably wouldn't happen. Who would pay for it? But she certainly was smart enough, and it would keep her busy. He didn't want to leave Elphaba here when he went. Fiyero couldn't be certain his brother wouldn't either kick her out or at least drive her to leave. She'd go back to the streets. He didn't want that.

Sarima wrinkled her nose. "Really? You'd take her there? Have you looked at her? She's hopeless, a street urchin. People would laugh at her."

He bit back a remark about how not everyone was as judgmental as she. "I think she's made great strides. And she doesn't talk like a street person. Besides, what does it matter where she came from?"

Sarima just looked at him blankly.

"What is your problem with her? She has never said an unkind word to you."

"Forget it, Fiyero." She kissed him. "I don't want to talk about it right now." Sarima unbuttoned the top button of her blouse.

He knew what she was trying to do, and for the first time he wasn't going to fall for it. "No, really, Sarima, what is wrong with her?"

"Nothing."

"Then why do you have an attitude about it? I told you there's no threat to you, and she's perfectly respectful every time you two interact." He drew away when she put a hand on his arm.

"I just don't see what you want with her, Fiyero. She's unrefined and not even pretty!"

"You know what?" Fiyero stood up. "Maybe you should go. I don't think this conversation is going anywhere."

"You're right about that," Sarima muttered, jumping off the bed. "I'll come back another time."

Part of him wished she wouldn't come back at all, but he knew he was just upset in the heat of the moment. "That's probably a good idea." He didn't see her out. Instead, he walked over to Elphaba's room.

She was laying on the floor reading a book. Fiyero had come upon her like this more than once, and had considered asking why she didn't sit comfortably on the bed. But after some consideration, he knew why. Elphaba wasn't used to the bed at all. At one point she'd made a comment that it was almost too comfortable to sleep on.

"I'm sorry about that," he told her.

She looked up. "Oh! I hadn't expected to see you again for a few hours. You two usually end up a little occupied." Elphaba coughed.

Was that jealousy he saw in her eyes? "We aren't seeing eye-to-eye at the moment." He shrugged. "I wondered if you wanted to study more."

"I'm fine, actually." She wouldn't meet his eyes. "But thank you."

"Are you certain?" He didn't want to go. Though he had all but kicked Sarima out, he still wanted company – just not the type Sarima was offering.

Elphaba gazed at him with confusion. "Did you want something?"

He smiled kindly. "I just… I meant to… it's nothing."

She rolled her eyes, but nodded. "All right, then."

Fiyero wandered the halls for a few minutes, feeling a little rejected. He was thinking about what he had said to Sarima about trying to get Elphaba into Shiz. Until it had come out of his mouth, it had only been a pipedream. Now, he realized he'd meant it more than he thought. So Fiyero went to the throne room to talk to his brother.

"I saw Sarima storming out of here. Please tell me you didn't do something stupid." His brother commented, not even looking up from the papers he was glancing over.

"No, Rod. She's just worked up over something or other."

"Women," his brother muttered.

"Right. Speaking of women, I wanted to talk to you about Elphaba."

"What about her?" Rod's face immediately changed into a look of disapproval.

"I was just thinking… I've been working with her on schooling. She's smart, Rod. I know she was uneducated until now, but she's catching on so fast I can barely keep up with her."

"And?"

"And it's not too late for her to send off for the entrance exam to Shiz... She wouldn't even have to travel to take it, if we explained the situation like we did for me…"

"Fiyero, who would pay for her to actually attend, assuming she could get in? We're not sending some random girl off to Shiz because you've got it in your head that you're going to rehabilitate her! I don't even think she should be here, much less go to school with you. And think of how that would look! The rest of Oz already thinks we're barbaric. She can't go out there! She has no manners, no wardrobe… absolutely not."

"It couldn't hurt to just let her take the test, Rod. We're not promising her anything."

"This conversation is over, Fiyero. I suggest you get over your little fantasy about this girl and focus on your own life."


	12. On My Own

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elphaba decides to see if she can do something for herself.

Elphaba slipped down the hall quickly. After the way Fiyero had acted in her room, she'd gone after him to see what was wrong. But before she could reach him, he'd begun speaking to his brother with the door to the throne room still open. She'd heard every bit of the conversation with Rodine, and she was having mixed feelings about it.

Fiyero really thought she was that smart? Elphaba had never really felt proud of anything before, but a small surge of pride had rushed through her when she'd heard him speaking about how intelligent she was. Her heart had swelled just listening to him speak about her. She had known that Rodine was not fond of her, and that conversation had further proved it.

However, Rod had also made some valid points. She wasn't civilized, nor was she University material. And she could never live with Fiyero paying for something like that, even if Rod would've let him. He'd done too much for her already.

But she knew there were other options. Though she hadn't gotten any schooling, she'd heard of people from poorer parts of Oz (the farmlands in Munchkinland, mostly) getting money for University based off of extremely high marks on the entrance exam. If she was as adept at this as Fiyero thought she might be, she could potentially take the test at least. But she wouldn't tell him. If she got in and they wouldn't offer her funding, she wouldn't ever let him know. He'd want to help her, and she refused to take more of his charity.

So the next afternoon when Fiyero was off hunting, she snuck into his room and looked through his desk. His entrance exam and results had to be there somewhere, and she could get all the information to send off for the test from that. Elphaba would have to make sure she got her hands on the post when it came in so that he didn't know. But she didn't imagine that would be a problem. A servant usually brought the mail before anyone looked at it.

"You're really focused on reading, aren't you?" Fiyero asked a few weeks later. "I swear every time I come by your room, you have your nose in a book."

She jumped at the sound of his voice, not noticing him in the doorway. "Oh! I just… I never really had much time for books before, nor the money. Now I have the time and access to all these books…" Elphaba smiled at him. "I really should be helping out around here, though. It would only be fair." And she'd heard Rodine make a comment as such, as well.

"I don't want you to feel like you owe me."

She wondered how Fiyero had managed to get away with that – her sitting around doing next to nothing all day. Rodine was not at all pleased with her presence, and forcing her to work for her keep shouldn't be out of the question. Elphaba was more than willing to contribute her part, but Fiyero had made it clear he wasn't having it. "If you say so."

"You'll be out of books to read by the time I head to Shiz if you continue at this pace." He teased, sitting down beside her on the floor.

She didn't want to ask what was expected of her when he left. Elphaba would insist to Rodine that she start doing work around the castle; she'd decided that much. She was realistic. The test hadn't arrived yet, and with no schooling the chances of her passing – much less making marks so high she'd get a free tuition – were slim. Her life was probably set here, and she accepted that. Even having to work, maybe cook or clean, was much better than what she'd had. And by the time Fiyero got back, he might ask that she stop working, but it'd be too late for that. She'd feel better about living here, anyway. "I'm just taking it all in."

"I'm glad you're happy here."

How could she not be? She didn't have to worry about her next meal, she had books to read, and she was left mostly alone. Well, aside from Fiyero. And she didn't much mind his company. Sometimes she even found herself wanting him around – and she'd never really felt that way about anyone since she'd gotten older.

When she'd been younger, Zestra's presence had been a comforting thing, but once she'd reached her teens, Zestra had become distant. She'd never said anything, but Elphaba had a feeling it was almost a competitive thing. Zestra had been the only adult female, and when Elphaba came of age Gergin had looked at her differently. He'd never propositioned her or said a word, but Zestra clearly sensed it. Of course, she'd had nothing to worry about. Elphaba had no interest in starting any sort of relationship, especially in that situation.

"I am happy here," she murmured, looking at him. "Sometimes I feel a little strange. I clearly don't fit in here, but it's still a wonderful life, Fiyero."

"You fit in more every day," he assured her. "And I like having you around. My brother is too busy to talk to me, and it gets lonely around here."

"What about Cerstiq? Or Sarima?"

He bit his lip. "Neither of them really wants to have a passionate discussion that involves anything academic, and neither of them is really willing to argue or talk back to me like you do. You actually question me and talk to me like I'm anyone else. I like the back and forth that we have."

"So do I." But her cheeks felt hot and she found herself remembering Sarima. "I suppose it's a good quality to have in a friend – maybe not a girlfriend, though. I'm sure Sarima is very respectful."

Fiyero snorted.

"What?"

"She gives me plenty of attitude, just about silly things." He shrugged and looked away from her for a moment. "But I suppose that's expected in a relationship."

She bit her tongue for a moment before saying, "I'm certain it is."

"Anyway, what are you reading?"

Elphaba felt relief flood her at the change of subject. She shouldn't have brought it up in the first place. "It's a history book. I'm struggling with Ozian history a bit. It's a struggle keeping track of all the different Ozma regents."

"We need to find you one with pictures."

"I'm not that stupid."

"No, no, not like that. It helps me to remember them when I see what they looked like, their faces. And other features. There was Ozma the Fat…"

Elphaba giggled. "Really?"

"Yes! Come with me back to the library. I have to show you!" He grabbed her hand and pulled her up. "She was huge!"

Her body responded immediately to his touch in ways it never had before, and she stared at his hand on hers as he dragged her through the hall, all thoughts of the Ozma regents long gone.

Elphaba knew that some people found pleasure in intimacy. But she hadn't expected to ever be one of them. Each time Fiyero touched her, however, her body hinted as those things, and she felt tempted to explore them – not with him, of course. It was a new feeling and she liked it. It was strange, these desires, this curiosity, it reminded her that her body was actually _hers_ , her feelings weren't dictated by someone else's needs. It made her smile a bit, the idea that her body really belonged to her, that it was hers to control, to get pleasure from. She shook herself quickly. How had one simple touch of the hand gotten her down this road?

"Is everything fine?" He looked at her, tugging her through the library doorway.

She nodded shyly. "I got lost in thought, that's all."

"About a fat princess?" He prodded.

"I didn't know many fat people," she commented.

"I don't suppose you did."

Sarima was… plump. She wasn't fat by any means, but she had large, wide hips and a thick waist. Men found that attractive, didn't they? Large breasts, a giggly disposition. That wasn't her, and it never would be. Why was she constantly thinking about this? "I don't even think I could get fat."

"You don't eat much." He observed.

"I'm not used to eating much." She shrugged.

When the test came, she was able to intercept it before Fiyero found out. So that he wouldn't know, she stayed up late at night and took it. Maybe it was because she was tired, but the questions seemed simple. She wondered if there was a trick to them. There was no way it was that simple. She sent it off the next morning. Come what may.

_**Author's Note:** _ _Things are about to get slightly less stressful come the end of the day Saturday when the show I'm directing is finished. And they'll get even LESS stressful after my students take this stupid standardized test in March. More time to write, I hope._

 


	13. Eye-to-Eye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fiyero finds out one of Elphaba's secrets and approaches her about it.

"Prince Fiyero, good to see you. I was just headed upstairs with the post." The young man bowed at him.

"I've told you many times, Wucosto, you don't need to bow." Fiyero held out his hand for the post. "I'll take that upstairs to my brother, thank you." As he walked, he started to sort through the mail, and wrinkled his brow. One of the envelopes had Elphaba's name on it. It wasn't until this moment that he'd even known her last name. Although somehow he doubted it was her last name – it was probably just what she'd come up with: Sodmin. It was a fairly common last name.

He couldn't help himself. He turned it over. It was from the offices at Shiz. This just got more and more confusing. Fiyero went to find her, and found her as he had so often found her, sitting on her floor reading a book. She looked up when he entered, and her face registered unease when she saw what he was carrying. But she forced a smile. "Good afternoon, Fiyero."

"You have a letter, Miss Elphaba Sodmin," he gave her a look.

"Really?" She swallowed hard.

"It looks like it's from Shiz," he pressed. "Is there something you want to tell me?"

Finally, she stood up. "Well, I wasn't going to."

"What is this, Elphaba? And why do you still feel the need to keep things from me?"

"It's not that…" Elphaba sighed. "Fiyero, I didn't want you to know for a reason. I heard your conversation with Rodine a while back. I know you want me to go to Shiz. I don't feel comfortable with you paying for it, not that he would let you. But I needed to know if I could get in…"

"So that's what this is?"

She nodded.

He handed the envelope over. "Then open it, then."

But she shook her head and pushed the envelope back at him. "You do it."

Eyes on her, he slowly tore the envelope open. But before he could even unfold the letter, she grabbed it from him. "I thought you wanted me to open it."

"I can't handle it. You're moving too slow." She unfolded the letter so fast that it practically tore in her hands. Her eyes scanned the page so quickly it was hard to tell she'd even read it. "I don't believe it."

"What is it?" He grabbed for the letter, but she ducked away from him, eyes glued to the page.

"I… Fiyero, I didn't just pass the test. This letter is from the headmistress. I've got the highest admission score they've seen in three years. They want me to come and study there. They'll waive my tuition…" Her voice was shaking and it took him a moment to realize that she was crying.

"Elphaba…" He didn't know if he should reach for her. "That's wonderful."

"I know." Quickly, she brushed the tears from under her eyes. "I didn't expect… I mean, I had hoped. It was the only reason I took the test. But mostly I just wanted to see if I could."

"Well, you did. And now…"

"Fiyero, I can't go. Your brother was right. I would never fit in there. It's a stupid idea. I never should've done this."

He grabbed her by the shoulder. "Elphaba, slow down. I know this is a lot to take in. But you have the opportunity of a lifetime and I can't let you give that up."

"The opportunity of a lifetime?" She laughed harshly. "You already gave me more opportunities than I ever had. This is too much. I don't deserve this."

"You do, Elphaba. You passed that test. You wouldn't have passed it if you didn't deserve it."

"I guess it would mean I wouldn't have to take your charity for the next three years. And after that, with an education I could actually take care of myself. I could pay you back…"

"There's nothing to pay me back for, Elphaba, I've told you." But she was considering going, and that was enough. "Tell me you'll go. You won't be alone there. I'll be with you. If you don't fit in, I won't, either. We'll have each other."

She lowered her eyes for a moment before smiling. "I suppose that's true."

He hugged her. "Good. Then it's settled. You're going."

Sarima was not too pleased when she heard the news. "That little thing is going to Shiz?"

"She has a name, Sarima." Fiyero muttered, jumping off the bed and moving away from her. "I've about had it with the way you're acting about her."

"And I've had it with how _you_ act about her, Fiyero! I will not be second place to a dirty street urchin. You spend more time with her than you do with me! And it appears you're about to spend a _lot_ more time with her."

"You are being completely ridiculous. She lives here and she needed help. That is the only reason I spent so much time with her!" But he knew maybe there was more to it than that. There had been several things keeping him from pursuing that, though, Sarima being one of them. One of the others was that he couldn't trust that she'd actually enter into any sort of relationship with him of her own will. He worried she'd simply do what she thought he wanted because she felt she owed him. He was certain she didn't feel the same about him, anyway. And he did care about Sarima, just not… not in the way he probably should.

"I'm surprised you two haven't ended up in bed. Or have you and I just don't know?" Sarima snapped, finally getting up.

"How could you think I would do such a thing?" He demanded.

"Have you ever thought about how you look when you talk about her? She can do no wrong in your eyes. It's obnoxious!"

"If you're so damned upset about it, then go find someone else!" He snapped.

"Perhaps I will. You're free to fuck your little charity case. Have fun." Sarima grabbed her things and stomped out.

Fiyero sighed and sat down at his desk. He hadn't meant for that conversation to get out of hand like that. But it had, and he wasn't sure he regretted it. Of course, he had no intention of pursuing Elphaba, but at least he'd have a bit of freedom at Shiz. He had a feeling that his brother wouldn't be too pleased about it when he found out, though.

"Really, Fiyero? She was a perfectly sweet girl. What stupid thing did you do?" Rodine demanded the next day.

"Nothing. We just… didn't see eye-to-eye on things. We thought it was best that we go our separate ways. I don't see why you're so upset about it. It was my relationship, not yours."

"Fiyero, she was the best marriageable option we had."

"Maybe I'll find a girl at Shiz."

"Really? You're supposed to be studying there, not courting girls." Rodine scoffed. "And we're having a party to send you off to school. You need a woman on your arm."

He shrugged. "I'll take Elphaba, then."

Rodine blanched. "You will not!"

"Why not? We can find her a dress and I'm sure she'll look just lovely." He thought she'd look more than lovely, but he bit his tongue.

"She's… she's… does she even know how to behave at a party?"

"She has common sense."

"Does she have manners?"

"How hard is it to be polite? She'll be fine, Rodine."

"Please tell me you didn't break up with Sarima so you could sleep with this girl, Fiyero."

Why was everyone assuming that? He groaned. "No, not at all. I just wouldn't mind having a little freedom at Shiz. Elphaba won't mind going to the party and being my date for just one evening." She might not like it, but he also knew she wouldn't fight him. Besides, if she did well, Rodine might look upon her with less scorn. That would be nice.

"I have a feeling I'm going to regret telling you that you can take her, but go ahead. Please, though, Fiyero, don't let this become something between the two of you. I have tried so hard to tolerate whatever weirdness is going on here, but that is too much."

Fiyero nodded. Rod's comments about Elphaba reminded him of yet another reason it was a bad idea to want a romantic relationship. He resigned himself to the fact that it could never happen, and he was absolutely fine with that. Maybe.


	14. Learning to Dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elphaba realizes that she is starting to have strange feelings for Fiyero.

"Me? At a party? Is this a fancy party? Fiyero, why don't you just take Sarima?" Elphaba had a thousand questions, but those were the first that came out of her mouth.

Fiyero chewed on his lower lip for a moment. "That's… well, that's over."

She raised her eyebrows.

"We had a disagreement. That's it. And it's beside the point."

"You haven't answered my other question." Elphaba pointed out.

"It's not a ball, per se, but it is thrown by my brother, so there is a certain level of decorum expected, yes. We'll have a dress made. After all, I'm sure there will be plenty of parties at Shiz that you'll want to attend."

 _I won't even get invited_ , Elphaba thought sardonically. "I'm not much of a party person, Fiyero."

"That doesn't surprise me." He smiled kindly at her. "I'm sure you'll do just fine, though."

She couldn't reject him when he looked at her that way. And she did owe him. "You might need to coach me a little. I have no idea how to even walk in a nice dress, or how to dance… are we going to have to dance?" The idea wasn't absolutely appalling, she admitted, aside from the fact that she had no idea what she was doing.

He frowned. "I hadn't thought about that. I suppose we might. I'll teach you. It's not until the end of next week, the day before we leave."

Nervously, she played with her braid. "Then you'd better get started. I have a feeling I'm not going to learn this as quickly as everything else."

They were standing alone in the library, and he looked around. "Let's go to my room. There's some open space in there and I'll start teaching you." He walked out of the room, looking back at her expectantly.

She followed. Elphaba hadn't been in his room in weeks. It still surprised her how extravagant it was sometimes. And suddenly she felt silly. How had she ended up here? She'd been scraping money together on the street only months ago and now here she was, feeling ridiculously uneasy about dancing with a handsome prince. What kind of fairytale had she landed in?

"Stand closer to me," he said gently. As she did, he drew her to him by the waist with one arm. There was barely an inch between the two of them. As she looked up at him, she considered how easy it would be to press her lips against his and a small shiver went down her spine. "Is something wrong?" He asked, noticing.

"No, nothing. Someone must've walked over my grave or something." She swallowed hard.

He took one of her hands with his and placed it on his shoulder near the base of his neck. Then he took the other one in his and intertwined their fingers. "We'll start like this."

Her heart pounded and she knew he must feel it. She tried to make a joke. "I can do this much. But we have to actually move, don't we?"

Fiyero gave her a thin smile. "Yes. I'm going to step forward with my right foot. You step back with your left."

Everything that afternoon felt dreamlike: the way his body felt near hers, the way they glided around the room. At some point she retreated into her head, too afraid of what was going on outside her to deal with the emotions it brought. She started tripping over Fiyero's feet. "I'm so sorry."

"It's fine, Elphaba. We've been at this for hours. You probably need a break anyway. You've been very patient. I know it can't be easy."

"You're a good teacher."

"Thank you, Elphaba."

When she was back in her room, she shut the door behind her and let out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding. Being so close to him had been invigorating, but she forced those thoughts away. She'd never actually _wanted_ someone, and she didn't understand the difference between lust and actual emotion. This had to simply be lust – something she was surprised she was capable of. Even if it was more… no, it wasn't and it never would be.

By the night of the party, she was no closer to figuring herself out, but she'd accepted that it didn't matter. She had a comfortable life now; her mind was just bored and making up random emotions. Fiyero brought her a dress, let her change and then came back to check on her. "Sweet Oz," he murmured, staring at her.

"What?" She folded her arms across her chest uneasily. "I look crazy, don't I?"

"Far from it. This party might be for me, but eyes are going to be on you, Elphaba."

"Because I'm green."

"No, because you look… wow."

She wouldn't let him know how much that compliment made her want to kiss him. "Thank you, I suppose."

"Not that you don't always look nice, just… this is new."

"I barely know how to walk in this thing." She needed to get him off the subject. If he kept talking about her this way, she'd do something they'd both regret.

"Gather it just a bit about the waist, holding it with one hand."

"How do you know how to do this? I don't suppose you've ever worn a dress."

"No, but I've seen plenty of women do that." He held out his arm for her. "The other hand, by the way, should rest on my arm."

"Fiyero, people are going to think that we're…"

"I know. That's probably best, actually. I don't need girls bothering me hoping to be the next candidate for princess."

"I don't have to act like we're…"

"No. I wouldn't ask that of you." He assured her. "You just being beside me is enough. If people figure out that I'm single, so be it. We'll be gone tomorrow anyway. One night of being harassed by pathetic village girls isn't bad. But I don't think anyone will wonder about it. You'll be the most beautiful woman in the room."

"Fiyero, please." She knew she must be flushing fiercely. "Don't speak to me that way."

He looked like he might question her, but when he met her eyes, he pursed his lips and nodded. "As you like." Fiyero guided her out of the room. "Now, if you are really nervous, I can do this myself. My brother won't like it, but I don't mind."

"No, no, I can do this." She steeled herself as they entered the hall. Elphaba hadn't been around a lot of people, especially since she'd left the City. This was a different type of crowd than she was used to, although had she been on the streets, she might've liked it. Everyone here clearly had money and wasn't exactly being protective of it. But she didn't need it, and she would never need it again if things worked out as she hoped.

Sarima was there. The look she gave both Elphaba and Fiyero as they entered could've pierced metal. Fiyero saw it. "I hadn't thought she'd come, but her whole family was invited."

Elphaba eyed the girl. Her dress was low cut and accentuated her voluptuousness. "She looks pretty."

"Not with that look on her face," Fiyero muttered.

"Why does she hate me?" Elphaba asked. "I never did anything…"

Fiyero lowered his voice. "Elphaba, she thinks I'm in love with you."

She froze for a moment before recovering. "What? That's absurd." She forced a laugh.

"I told her she was wrong, but she has a tendency to get jealous." Fiyero rolled his eyes. "Of course, since we're here together, she's going to assume she was right."

"Why did you ask me?"

"Because you're my friend, and I needed someone." But he wouldn't meet her eyes.

"I'm the best you could get, huh?" She teased.

"You're the only one I wanted," he replied. "I mean…" His voice trailed off. "That sounded… I meant that you're the person I thought I'd have the best time with, not that I want…"

"I know what you meant, Fiyero." She cut him off, unwilling to watch him suffer. "I was just joking around."

At that point, an older man approached them. "Prince Fiyero," he bowed. "I hope you enjoy your time at Shiz."

"Thank you." Fiyero nodded and smiled at the man. "I'm sure it will be a wonderful learning experience."

Elphaba glanced over at Fiyero. Somehow, she thought that no matter what she learned at Shiz, the biggest learning experience that she would ever have was meeting him.


	15. Independence Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fiyero and Elphaba go to Shiz.

Fiyero was not disappointed in Elphaba's behavior. While she was very quiet when spoken to and clearly didn't like answering any questions, she was polite. She refused to eat when they were served, and he thought it was probably because she still was confused about the different types of silverware and didn't want anyone else to know. He didn't comment on it, aware that she was incredibly uncomfortable.

A few times he looked over at Sarima and she was always glaring back. Towards the end of the night, he got frustrated and stalked over there while Elphaba was in the restroom. "What is your problem?" He snapped.

"Nothing. I'm just amused that everything turned out exactly like I thought it would with your little whore you picked up off the street."

He fumed at that response. "You have no right to say that. She was never…" Of course, he didn't know that for sure. And even if she had, he wouldn't blame her. She'd been starving. "And you're wrong, anyway. She's here because I needed someone to be with me, nothing more than that."

Sarima stuck her nose in the air. "So you say."

He spotted Elphaba returning and shook his head. "I don't know why I bother. You're going to believe what you want." Fiyero left her at that and went back over to Elphaba, who gave him a halfhearted smile. "You look exhausted, Elphaba."

"I feel like I'm trying so hard to be someone else that it's taking all the energy I have," she admitted. "This is strange. I don't know how you do it."

"I've been doing it since I was very young. It comes naturally, that's all. I understand. Why don't we leave? We do have to be up somewhat early to head to Shiz. I'll walk you back to your room."

After saying his goodbyes, he escorted Elphaba out of the room. She visibly relaxed, her body falling into more of a slouch as they began to walk down the hall. "Thank you, Fiyero. I don't know why you wanted me to come with you when I was likely to be more of an embarrassment, but I do appreciate that you treat me like I'm an equal and not a piece of trash."

"You were just fine. I was never embarrassed by you at all, Elphaba. I know you didn't want to talk about where you came from, but even if you had, I wouldn't have cared. Your history only proves what a good person you are – that you survived it and managed to be as intelligent as you are. You didn't let it destroy you."

She was biting back a smile when she got to her doorway. "Well, thank you. I'd better rest. We have a long journey tomorrow."

"You do that." He went back to his room, and double-checked his packing. Satisfied that he was ready, he fell asleep.

This time, they had a larger compartment with two beds and a divider on the train. Elphaba curled up on her bed almost immediately with a book. He'd never been much for reading on trains – it made him nauseated. He tried staring out the window, listening to the movement of the train, the pages turning in Elphaba's book, the wind ripping by. But after awhile, he found himself bored again.

"Are you excited?" He asked her. That was a stupid question – obviously she was.

"I am. Are you?"

"Very. Think of all the interesting people we might meet!"

"I'm more concerned with learning." Her sentences were clipped and short. She wasn't up for talking.

"That, too." He sighed. "Thank you again for joining me at the party last night."

"It was nothing."

Fiyero sighed. "Is something wrong?"

"No."

"Then why aren't you talking to me?"

"I'm sorry, am I here to entertain you or to study?" She looked up at him with a challenge in her eyes. Elphaba always talked back to him, but usually she tempered herself a bit – likely because she didn't want to disrespect someone she felt she owed. But this was purely snarky, and he couldn't help but grin a bit at it. That only frustrated her further. "What?"

"Nothing. You usually avoid getting angry with me."

"It's hard not to when you're prodding me like this."

"I apologize. I am bored."

"Well, I'm not. This book is very interesting."

"Why don't you read it to me, then?" That way he could still read, just not in a way that made him ill.

"What are you, six-years-old all of the sudden?"

"I can't read in a moving vehicle. I get sick."

Elphaba groaned, but started reading aloud. At some point, the lull of her voice put him to sleep, and he woke to her smacking him with the same book.

"What?"

"You wanted me to read to you and you fell asleep! That's rude!"

Getting away from Kiamo Ko had clearly brought her intensity back. "I didn't mean to fall asleep."

"Well you did!"

He looked up at her, her hair falling about her face, one hand on her hip and the other holding the book precariously above his head as though she intended to whack him again and all he felt was the urge to pull her down and kiss her hard. He found his hand reaching for her, but caught himself and grabbed the book from her. "That's like a deadly weapon in your hands, Elphaba."

"And I'd gladly use it." She yanked it back. "Now, I'm going to read _to myself_ and you can leave me alone!" She dragged the small divider out and moved it between their beds.

He chuckled to himself, but rolled over and fell back to sleep. Fiyero didn't bother her the rest of the trip.

They arrived the next morning and her irritation with him seemed to have waned, though perhaps it was because of nerves more than anything else. "What building are you staying in?"

"Three Queens. You're in Crage, right? I think that's the only girls' dormitories."

She nodded. "I don't know anything about my roommate."

"I'm sure you'll get along fine."

"And you?"

"I'm on my own. You're welcome to visit."

"I just might," she laughed.

Suddenly, though, he worried that might not be the best idea. Alone with her… what was he thinking? "I can walk you over there."

"Let me do this on my own," she asked, not harshly.

He didn't argue. She'd gotten here of her own merit. Elphaba probably wanted to prove something to either him or herself by not taking any of his help. Fiyero would let her. "Well, good luck. I'm in room 136. Come find me before we start classes Monday."

"Fair enough." She waved him away.

He dragged his things to his room. It was small – partly because it was a single room and not a double. After putting his clothes in the closet, he sat down on his full size bed. There wasn't a lot of room to move around the room, not that he intended to do much in here other than study. The bed wasn't nearly as comfortable as the one he had at Kiamo Ko, though it was a step above the cots on the train.

That night he went out and bought himself dinner. He considered asking Elphaba to come, but he realized she'd never even told him what room she was in. He'd look foolish knocking on every door asking for a green girl. Besides, it was time for both of them to start fresh.

 


	16. Abnormal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elphaba meets her new roommate. She starts to realize that she has more in common with Fiyero than she thought.

The young woman occupying the other side of her room looked at her with a mixture of curiosity and horror. Seeming a little shocked, she called back, "Ama Clutch, your other charge is here." She stepped back from the doorway to allow Elphaba inside.

Elphaba examined the young woman for a moment. The girl was blonde, very pale and obviously from money. Her dress was frilly, new and extremely pink.

An elderly woman walked into the room. "Good morning. I'm Ama Clutch."

Fiyero had explained to her that girls were supposed to have chaperones and keep a curfew. Boys, on the other hand, were free to do as they pleased. Elphaba thought it was stupid. She'd lived in a constant state of defense for years, surely she could make her own decisions and take care of herself. But she smiled politely and said, "It's lovely to meet you. I'm Elphaba."

"Galinda, dear, would you introduce yourself?" Ama Clutch nudged the blonde girl.

"I'm Galinda Uppland," the girl said grudgingly. "We're roommates. I've already put my things away."

"Nice to meet you." She really didn't know what else to say. "I… um, I guess I'll put my things over here, then." Galinda couldn't have been there more than a few hours, but she'd already defined sides of the room from the looks of it. Elphaba put a few books on her desk and tossed her clothes haphazardly in the closet.

"So where are you from?" Ama Clutch asked.

How had she not anticipated this question? And what was her answer? Kiamo Ko? The streets? Eventually she settled on, "The City."

"How metropolitan!" Galinda seemed to perk up at that.

"It does sound most intriguing." Ama Clutch agreed.

"It was interesting." Elphaba wasn't going to explain more than that. Though Fiyero had always encouraged her to be open about her past, she didn't think everyone was as open-minded as he was. She was sure that eventually she'd give herself away, but for the moment she decided that her history needed to kept secret. "Where are you from?" She turned the question to Galinda quickly.

"Gillikin – near Frottica."

"And what are you concentrating on here?"

"Sorcery. What about you?"

The test had said her strongest suit was sciences, but she was welcome to switch to another concentration before the first term ended. "Sciences."

"That sounds dreadfully gross, all those experiments and chemicals." The girl wrinkled her nose.

"I'm sure it'll be fine." Elphaba guessed this girl had never gone a day without washing in her life. She thought to the vials of oil she had in her bag. She'd been lucky enough to have what she needed now, but there had been whole weeks… she shrugged. It was over now.

Galinda glanced out the window. "I think I might go out and try and meet a few people." She looked at Elphaba for a moment. "You don't want to come with… do you?"

She shook her head. "No, I'll be fine."

Relief flooded the blonde's face. "Ah, well, then. Ama Clutch?"

The woman grabbed her purse. "I expect that you won't cause any trouble while I'm gone?"

"What kind of trouble could I possibly cause?" Elphaba rolled her eyes. "I'm probably just going to read."

"That sounds boring." Galinda commented on her way out the door, not waiting for a response before she and Ama Clutch disappeared.

Elphaba settled onto her bed with a book and began reading, but her mind wouldn't settle. She felt like her legs wanted to move, like she wanted to talk. And there was only one place she knew to go.

He opened the door and smiled at her. "I didn't expect to see you today."

His smile made her want to smile back. "That room feels a bit stifling. Besides, I wanted to see what your room looked like."

"Then come on in." He closed the door behind her and sat on the bed. "Guess you missed me, huh?"

"You wish," she teased. "I think I will like not having you show up at my room at all hours."

"Not all hours!" He frowned. "I never bothered you late at night."

"But you admit you bothered me?" She sat down next to him.

"I didn't see it that way, but apparently you did." He shook his head. "Never mind that. Tell me what your roommate is like."

"Gillikinese. Stuck up. That's all I got before she ran off." Elphaba kicked her feet and looked at Fiyero. "I didn't tell her anything about… before. I know you want me to be honest, but I get the feeling some people are going to be judgmental."

"There's nothing to judge, Elphaba."

"You don't even know it all," she reminded him. "And it doesn't matter how _you_ feel. Because some people will judge whether you think they should or not."

He brushed her shoulder softly. "You've had it hard enough without people looking down on you. It's stupid, Elphaba."

"It's stupid, but it happens. And I can handle it. But I won't live with it. I'm not telling her, and I likely never will."

"You can't decide that now. Maybe you two will be friends."

Elphaba snorted. "You need to meet her. I think you'll understand better after that."

"Maybe she's not the one who's judgmental, Elphaba."

She glared at him. "You didn't see the way she looked at me."

At that, his eyes traveled her body for a moment. "What do you mean by that?"

His gaze was burning into her and she had to turn her head a little. "The green skin is a deformity, Fiyero, you know that. People don't look kindly on it."

"Why? It's not as though it's ugly."

She had the urge to ask him if he really meant that, but she bit it back. "Fiyero, to a lot of people, ugly is anything abnormal."

"That would make me ugly as well, then, wouldn't it?"

"You aren't." She spat the words out before she even realized it. "I mean…"

"Thank you." He cut her off. "In the Vinkus, I might not be. But out here, I think… when I was walking to my room earlier, I saw a few people sneering at me. And the reactions I got when I was in the City weren't always pleasant, either."

She wanted to tell him that what made him so strange to everyone else made him desirable to her, but it wouldn't be wise to say such a thing. They had a nice friendship, and she finally had begun to believe that he didn't want anything from her other than a companion. It wasn't worth destroying that, as much as the idea might tempt her. "Well, we're both a little foreign. I'm sure people will adjust." She wasn't, actually, but she wanted him to feel better.

"I hope so." He put a hand over hers. "I guess it's only right that the two weirdest people on campus are friends."

She grinned. "I guess so." The warmth of his hand spread through her fingers, to her palms and up her arm. Without allowing it too much thought, she scooted closer to him. "I don't know how to act around these people, Fiyero."

"Just be yourself, Elphaba. You're right – not everyone will like that. But then they're stupid anyway." He flipped her hand over and traced her palm for a moment before drawing his hand back. "Besides, you came here to learn and get a degree, didn't you? Who cares what your classmates think?"

"You're right about that." She wanted to hug him – she'd never wanted to hug anyone before.

"And you know you're welcome here whenever."

"I appreciate that, but I wouldn't want to outstay my welcome. Besides, I like being alone."


	17. Girl, Interrupted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elphaba and Fiyero grow closer.

Fiyero found that Elphaba didn't like being alone as much as she claimed she did. She'd lived with three other people in one room, he knew. And even when she was "working," she'd been surrounded by people. He figured it was strange for her to be alone too much. She also didn't much like the constant supervision.

"Curfew is ridiculous! Ama Clutch is so strict about it! Even a tick late and she's into one of her lectures. I can't stand it." Elphaba flopped down on his bed. "I shouldn't have come over at all. I'll be racing to make it back."

He laughed. "That's hours and hours away! I'm sure you'll be fine. It's a five-minute walk at the most. Besides, I like it when you come by."

School had started the prior week, and she had been in his room at least every other day after class, eager to discuss something she'd heard or learned. Being the second child of his parents, Fiyero had never really felt like anyone needed him or particularly cared if he was around. Even Sarima had been more interested in his position than him. Elphaba made him feel like he mattered to someone, and not because of who he was. She wanted to talk to him for his opinion, or because he listened to her. "I don't mind coming by," she admitted. "It's nice to talk to someone I know isn't analyzing me or expecting something."

He brightened at that. "So you finally understand that you owe me nothing?"

"I didn't say that. What I said was that I realize you aren't expecting anything from me, whether or not I owe you, Fiyero. Without you, I wouldn't be here right now. I think I owe you more than I could ever repay." She rolled onto her stomach. "But one day maybe I'll find a way to fix it."

"There's nothing to fix." He remembered the way she'd offered him her body when she'd first come to him for help, and how he'd adamantly refused. If she understood that he didn't want that from her, did it mean that anything she did from now on was what she wanted and nothing more? Could he trust that if he made a move, she'd let him in because it was her choice, not because she felt obligated? His hand itched to brush through her hair, to caress her skin.

But he knew he mustn't. Rod would kill him. And she didn't want it, anyway, did she? She probably couldn't even think to want such a thing. Her life had purely been about survival for years, romance was not something that she might've even considered. He wouldn't complicate her life that way.

She shifted on the bed and looked up at him. "Do you think I could ditch my Ama? Get myself out of it somehow?"

"I don't know what's so frustrating. You're used to being accountable to someone, aren't you? You told me your friends back in the City always expected you home at a certain time. Think of this the same way."

"My friends in the City didn't treat me like a lost little girl!" She huffed. "If college is supposed to prepare us for the real world, why are there all these rules that don't exist out there?"

"I can't answer that."

"And why, Fiyero, don't the boys have to follow the same rules?"

He wasn't able to answer that, and she knew that well enough by now. When her packet had come giving her all the important information about Shiz, she'd questioned the Ama situation and asked something very similar then. He'd had no good response, and still didn't. "I wish I knew, Elphaba."

"Goodness, I'm probably better at taking care of myself than half the boys on this campus, anyway!" She exclaimed, jumping up.

"They don't know that."

"True. But they don't know it about the boys, either." She folded her arms across her chest. "It's a dumb, sexist rule."

"How does your roommate feel about it?"

"I don't think Galinda has feelings. I'm fairly certain she's some sort of robotic being that just functions to look pretty." Elphaba shrugged.

Fiyero had only met Galinda once, but he understood why Elphaba was so uncertain of her. The way Galinda had spoken to him, the dismissive way she'd behaved… he wondered how the two of them could even occupy the same living space sometimes. "She's not even that attractive," he opined, "especially next to…" He caught himself.

But she knew. Her eyes seemed to change and she coughed. "Please don't."

"I'm sorry."

"It's fine." Elphaba hugged herself for a moment. "How are classes going? Outside of science, I mean?" Science was the only class they had together. They had very different concentrations, but basic life science was a required course for all first-year students.

"I never realized how boring it was to listen to an old man ramble on about history," Fiyero muttered. His schooling had mostly been handled by a middle-aged Munchkin woman who had come out to teach both him and his brother per his parents' request. She had always been very passionate about the subject and one-on-one learning was, he had discovered, very different than sitting in a large lecture hall.

"At least Dr. Dillamond is entertaining."

"He most certainly is."

"I don't understand why some students don't like him. I'd rather have him than my mathematics professor. He just drawls on and on. I understand what he's saying, but I'd learn better by reading the book than listening to him!"

"The same reason some people don't like us, Elphaba. He's different. So are we."

She sighed. "I suppose it shouldn't surprise me. I'd thought, maybe, that educated people would be less bigoted."

"Not all of them."

"At least there's you." Her eyes shone when she spoke.

That was it. He couldn't stop it anymore. Fiyero slid a hand around the back of her head and brought their mouths together as he tangled a hand into her hair. Her lips were sweet beneath his, giving way to his tongue when teased at them. Her mouth was warm and inviting. One of her hands slid down his chest. He tugged her down towards the bed.

There was a knock at the door and they both jumped apart. Elphaba coughed. "Um, you should get that."

He wanted to say that he didn't have to, that they should forget the knock had happened. He wanted to just kiss her again. But then the knock came again. "Right." Fiyero got up off the bed, brushing himself off quickly and readjusting. "You might want to go sit at the desk or something…"

"Of course." Elphaba quickly scrambled into the desk chair.

He threw open the door. "Yes?"

It was one of the boys from down the hall: a Munchkin. "Hi, I'm Boq. I'm sorry to bother you, but I got locked out of my room and my roommate won't be back for another hour and I really need to use the lavatory."

"Oh, I see. Come on in." Fiyero pointed to a small door in the corner.

Elphaba was brushing through her hair. "Uh, anyway, I'd better go."

"Elphaba…"

"I'm so sorry," said the young Munchkin, "I didn't realize you had company."

"It's fine." Fiyero waved him towards the lavatory door.

But Elphaba had already gathered her knapsack and was headed for the door. "I'll see you later."

"Please, don't…"

"Later, Fiyero." And she was gone.

The young man emerged from the other room. "I didn't mean to scare your girlfriend away."

"She's not my girlfriend," he muttered.

The Munchkin cocked his head. "Oh."

"Never mind that." Fiyero wasn't mad at the boy. He couldn't have known. Besides, maybe it was for the best. It would give both of them time to think about it.

"I'd better go. Thank you for helping me." The young man fumbled out the door.

Fiyero fell back on his bed and looked up, studying the small dents in the ceiling. What would he say to her the next time they saw each other? Would he kiss her again?

But it wasn't meant to be. There was yet another knock on the door. He grumbled and tore the door open. "What?" He demanded angrily.

He was met by soft, demanding lips against his. Elphaba wrapped her arms around his neck as he kicked the door shut behind them.

Maybe he wouldn't be doing much thinking, after all.


	18. Choices

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elphaba and Fiyero end up going further than either of them expected. In the aftermath, Elphaba finds herself opening up to Fiyero.

She had almost run back to her dorm, but the sound of Fiyero's door closing down the hall as that nervous Munchkin boy left had jarred her out of her anxiety and she'd turned around instead. Fiyero had stirred something and she couldn't stop it, not now.

As the door shut behind him, they stumbled towards the bed, hands traveling bodies eagerly. His shirt came off first, their lips barely parting long enough for him to pull it over his head. She felt her way along his muscles, her fingers heating against the skin of his chest. Fiyero pressed her beneath him on the bed and his weight above her caused her to tense for just a moment as he murmured, "I want you so badly."

She couldn't let him be in control – she had to take it. She flipped them so that she was on him. "Let me do this my way, Fiyero, and you'll get exactly what you want. All of it." Her lips traveled along his jaw, tracing the artery in his neck and moving further down.

"Sweet Oz, do whatever you want," he replied. His hands tugged at the clasp on her dress and soon it slid from her shoulders and she shrugged it all the way down. The tips of his fingers brushed against her breasts softly. No touch had ever warmed her, affected her that way.

She groaned and pressed her hips against his, feeling his need. She liked how it made her feel wanted and curious. As he palmed her breasts, his thumb gently teased her nipples into hard peaks and she tightened her hands on his skin. She whispered, "That's what I like to hear." Before she could return her mouth to his skin, he took a breast into his mouth, flicking his tongue along the peak with skill. His teeth nipped at her before he switched to her other breast. The feeling was exquisite, the way her skin responded, the way she felt herself reacting to his touch with need to equal his own.

He sat up against the headboard of the bed, her in his lap. Fiyero's hands traveled to her waist, dragging her closer to him. She slid her hands between them and undid his trousers, tugging them off of him so that she could touch him. It was strange to touch because _she_ wanted to, not because she was being told to. He was hot in her hand, sending shivers through her body. He moved his own hands to open her legs, a single finger sliding along her tingling nerves, making her head fall back and her mouth fall open. His hand moved faster and she ground herself against him, eager to feel him. A finger slipped into her and she gasped at the warmth, how sweet it felt.

Elphaba grabbed his hand and tugged it away, bracing herself above him and doing this her way, as she wanted. She slid onto him easily, shuddering at the depth he reached without even pushing into her. As she settled her body, he pressed up and she purred at the sensation, the friction of their bodies moving together. It was a new feeling, and a good one. He filled her with his hardness, moving his hips slowly as she began to rock her own against him. A sweetness begin to linger within her, building as she moved. His body moved in concert with hers, climbing to some beautiful, unknown plateau she wanted to find.

Eager to reach whatever height he was taking her to, she moved faster, their bodies slamming together, noses rubbing as she panted with the effort. At once, waves of blissful sensation overtook her, pleasure tearing through her body. He grabbed her chin and their eyes met as she moaned softly. After another moment or two, he buried his face in her breasts as he shivered with his own release. "Oh, gods... you're incredible."

"The same to you," she whispered back, breathless. Her body still twitched with tremors, leftover shots of ecstasy flowing through her. "I never realized…"

"Realized what?"

"How good this could feel," she replied.

"Then why did you ever do it before?" He laughed lightly.

"I never really had a choice… I mean…" She climbed off his lap quickly, realizing what she'd just said. "That sounded worse than it was."

He grabbed her arm. "Wait, Elphaba. What, exactly, did you mean?"

"Nothing." She wouldn't turn back to him.

"Were you… oh tell me we didn't just… were you raped?"

At that, she tore away from him. "No!"

"Then what does 'I never really had a choice,' mean, Elphaba?" He got up and blocked the door. "Don't run from me now. Talk to me."

"I didn't come here to _talk_ , Fiyero."

"What we just did, Elphaba, if something happened to you before now… I want to know."

"It's not your business!"

"I'm asking you. When you showed up at my door back in the City, Elphaba, something had scared you. I think I know what. Please, just talk to me about this." He reached out and brushed her cheek with his forefinger. "I'm not going to judge you."

She swallowed hard. "It wasn't rape."

"But it was bad."

Elphaba sighed and sat back down on the bed. "I owed that man my life, Fiyero."

"And he made you sleep with him?"

"He didn't _make_ me, exactly. Majik just made it clear that I owed him and I needed to repay him somehow. So I did what I had to."

"Elphaba, that is rape."

"No, it's not. I did it. It was disgusting, but I did it. Please, don't tell me it was rape. I'm not a victim." She shook her head violently.

"You are. And if you don't want to see yourself as a rape victim, you were a victim of circumstance. You did what you had to in order to survive. But Elphaba, why didn't you tell me before now?" He placed a hand on her arm gently.

"I didn't want you to look at me with pity, or with horror. I couldn't take it."

"Am I looking at you like that now?"

She looked up into his eyes searchingly. All she could see there was kindness and caring. There was no revulsion, no shameful glance. He only wanted to hold her. And so she let him. His arms wound around her and she pressed her face into his shoulder. "You're not. You're good."

"Is that what pushed you to run?"

"Somewhat. I mean, it had happened before. He'd requested a lot things from me I wasn't fond of, but I did them. But he made an implication that… that soon I'd be selling myself. I couldn't do that, Fiyero. I cared about them, but the thought of having to…" Elphaba realized she was shaking.

"And yet you offered yourself to me that same night. You thought you had to, didn't you?"

"I didn't understand what else you could want from me."

He moved just far enough from her so that she could see his eyes again. "What we just did doesn't change what I expect from you. If you never want to do that again, I will never push it. I thought we were past you thinking you owed me…"

"Fiyero, believe me, what happened between us just now had nothing to do with feeling like I owed you." It had been about taking back control, about getting her own pleasure. She had wanted to prove to herself that sex wasn't awful, not when it was with someone so tender and affectionate. And he had let her get what she needed, never questioning until after.

"Good. I would never forgive myself if I took that from you without you really wanting it."

"Oh, I really wanted it." The corners of her mouth turned up a little. "And you more than delivered."

"There are no complaints on my part, either." Fiyero pulled her body against his, lying back in the bed so that she rested just above him, her body fitting into his. "Stay here?"

"Curfew is in a few hours."

"But it's not now."

She nuzzled against him. "You didn't need to do this, Fiyero. I didn't need to talk about this."

"It didn't hurt you to talk about it, did it?"

"No, not quite. I…" She didn't know how to admit that in some ways, she felt relieved. He knew now, and still he wasn't treating her like a fragile doll or like a piece of trash. And she had slept with him. It hadn't been scary or painful – it had been wonderful. "Thank you."

He combed his fingers through her hair. "It was nothing."

"I don't think you understand. It was everything, Fiyero."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yes, she did basically jump into bed with him. You may be wondering why. Because this isn't about caring for him; it's not about owing him; it's about showing herself that she can enjoy sex, about taking control of her sexuality. Honestly, this is all about her. She chose him because she felt safe with him. This was a discovery for her, and one she needed to make to move on. Elphaba has been used so much that it was her turn to use, to get pleasure out of someone else. Does she care about him? Of course she does. But I don't think she realizes the implications of that. So for him, it was about love and emotion and attraction and lust. For her, it was a little about attraction, but it wasn't really about her feelings for him, it was about the act itself.
> 
> And they're going to find themselves at very different places after this. Because despite taking back control, rediscovering herself, she still doesn't have the self worth that she needs to really be loved by another person at this point, and he hasn't quite realized that. That's going to cause a problem. Anyway, maybe they moved too fast. But I honestly think it's what she needed to do. Everyone at the end of the last chapter was saying, "Finally, they kissed." Oh, it was so much more than that. She awakened something inside her, but she still doesn't feel she's deserving of more than just this. Well, you'll see how it goes after this. This chapter was so intense for me to write. I don't even think Elphaba understood that a woman could actually orgasm until that moment... which is why she says what she does afterwards, and that reveals to Fiyero that her history is worse than he thought it was. And I think seeing only kindness in his eyes after he finds out, not pity or horror, I think that shows her something. But she's not healed, not really. This was a step. But she has more to make. And while this story is a love story first and foremost, it's also about her coming back from the terror she's experienced, and to get to the love part, she'll have to do that first.


	19. Friends with Benefits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elphaba and Fiyero come away from their intimacy with two very different expectations.

They slept, her curled into the crevices of his body. He understood now why she'd needed to take charge, and he didn't mind. The way her body had felt, tightening around his as she'd found release had been absolutely perfect, and he wouldn't trade that feeling for anything. As he woke, so did she – her eyes opening slowly, her lips twisting into a satisfied smile. After a moment, she braced herself on the bed and sat up. "Mm, what time is it?"

He rolled over and gazed at the clock. "You've got two hours until curfew."

"Still? We weren't asleep for long, were we?"

"I don't suppose we were." Fiyero sat up. "If you're still tired…"

"I'm not." Elphaba examined the bed for a moment, her eyebrows rising at the disarray, the tangled sheets. "Although that surprises me. We had quite the little adventure, didn't we?"

He couldn't help but grin. "We certainly did."

She matched his grin. "You up for another one?" Elphaba pushed him back down on the bed.

"Anything with you," he replied.

They fell into another round of lovemaking, this time allowing Fiyero more time to discover her body in ways he hadn't before. His mouth traced every inch of her skin until she whimpered, and at the same time her tongue slid along his length until he had to stop her. At that point, she helped him into her, gliding over him until they both reached climax. Their bodies were coated in a thin layer of sweat and fluid as she rested once more against his chest. "I really should go now, shouldn't I?"

"I don't want you to."

"I'll miss curfew. You know I'd get in trouble."

"You've gotten into enough trouble today with me," he teased. "I don't want you facing disciplinary action on my account."

"You're right." Reluctantly, she dragged herself off the bed and began to dress. "It was, um, nice."

He got up and wrapped his arms about her waist for a moment. "It certainly was."

"I'll see you in class Monday?" Her breathing had slowed, though, and her body molded along his, as though she wanted to stay.

"I'd see you tomorrow if I could." Fiyero could feel the electricity starting again, and decided it was best to step away for a moment. If he started something, they'd take much too long finishing it. And he really didn't want her in trouble.

"I have homework. You know that. So do you!" She moved towards the door, and he thought he noticed a slight tremor move through her body. "Monday."

He nodded at her. "Monday."

When the door shut behind her, he smiled to himself. How long had he wanted to touch her? How long had he waited, told himself to stay away? And when he finally gathered the courage up, they'd been interrupted. Yet, of her own accord, she had come back. That in and of itself was everything to him.

Then again, he knew Rod might not like it. And he definitely knew it made things complicated. But she had opened up to him in ways he hadn't even realized she needed to. Knowing what had happened to her made him angry – not at her, of course, but at the man who had used her so. She was beautiful, and deserved everything, yet that man had made her feel like all she had to give was sex. No wonder she didn't talk much about how she felt – she didn't think her feelings had any value.

He knew she didn't want him to treat her any differently now that he knew, and he wouldn't. It did change how he saw her. Fiyero didn't see her necessarily as someone to be pitied, or as dirty. What he saw was someone who had gone through more than her share of hardship and managed to rise above it. He only wished she could see that, too.

Monday afternoon when she got to class and sat beside him, she smiled at him like always. "Did you do your homework?"

He reached over to take her hand. "Most of it."

She pulled her hand away before he could grab it. "What are you doing?"

"I thought… after Saturday…"

She looked genuinely confused. "You thought what?"

"I thought maybe we could be together."

"Together? Fiyero, I'm not… that wasn't… I didn't think…"

"You thought that meant nothing?" But maybe she had thought exactly that. That man had groomed her to detach sex from emotion. "Elphaba, it meant something to me. It wasn't just good sex."

"Shhh!" Elphaba shot him a glare. "There are other people in here! I do _not_ need to get a reputation around here."

"First of all, it's University, everyone is involved. And second of all, I wasn't loud. No one heard. Elphaba, look around. No one cares about the two weird students sitting in the corner." He tugged her hand again. "I thought there was more to what happened."

Her cheeks darkened. "What… what does that even entail, Fiyero? I don't know how this works."

"It could work, though." He protested. But their professor came in then and they both turned quickly towards the front of the lecture hall.

He couldn't focus on the lesson at all. Instead, he watched Elphaba, the way she stuck her tongue in the corner of her mouth when she was thinking, or how she twirled the pen back and forth between her fingers. As she scribbled notes, her hair fell into her face. Fiyero just wanted to pull her into his arms, kiss those delicious lips again. He hadn't even noticed when class ended until she started walking away.

"Wait!" He grabbed his things quickly. "Let me take you to dinner. We can talk about us."

"When I came back to your room, I didn't mean to start something like this."

"So all that was for you was pleasure?"

"Who says it was pleasure?" She prodded.

"Your eyes." He replied simply. "And you're evading."

"Fine, fine. We can talk. But I'm not hungry yet. Can we go to your room or somewhere more private? This conversation doesn't need to be held in public."

"Fair enough." He wanted to take her hand as they walked together back to his room, but he knew that would only cause her to pull away. So he kept his hands at his sides, glancing over at her occasionally. He fumbled with the lock to his door.

She followed him inside and sat down on the bed immediately. "Fiyero, you've mistaken what happened between us for more than it was. You think I wanted more from you. I don't expect that."

"Are you saying that you're done with me?"

"No! You're probably my only friend in the world right now. What we did was nice. But I'm not… look at me." She gestured to herself. "I can't be with you."

He sat down as well. "Why not?"

"Because. I don't want this. Is that enough?"

"Then why did you sleep with me?"

"Because I wanted to feel good. And I did. And I wouldn't necessarily object to doing that again. But we're friends, Fiyero. Just friends."

His heart dropped. "So this is how it is? No romance? No affection?"

"It'll be simple."

He wasn't so certain that simple was the word he would use, but a glance at Elphaba told her that arguing was useless. Should he tell her that they were friends or they were lovers and there was no in between? "I…"

"I don't know what you could possibly complain about. You get me, naked and unattached." Elphaba smiled sweetly and dropped her dress. He hadn't even noticed her unzip it, but it was on the ground.

Fiyero eyed her, and he couldn't stop himself. He tossed his shirt to the floor and pursued her. "I suppose I can compromise…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here she's detaching. She doesn't state it exactly, but she thinks that even if she did want more, he wouldn't. And she's afraid to admit that she might want just that, because she doesn't think she deserves more, or that she's worth more. She never even questions it. And that's awful. So it hasn't even really occurred to her that there is more, that they could mean more to each other than just the constant giving of physical pleasure. That doesn't mean that she doesn't care about him romantically, I just think she doesn't realize what that means yet.
> 
> When I first got together with my husband, I had major issues understanding our relationship. I'd been used so much that when my husband just wanted to be with me and sit with me and talk, I thought he didn't love me or want me because he wasn't "using" me for what I was good for. So Elphaba's basically giving Fiyero exactly what she thinks she's good for, and nothing more than that. Her self confidence is so low that she really doesn't understand how to be in a real relationship.
> 
> Sorry for all the notes, but this story became much more personal to me than any of my others.


	20. Elphaba the Delirious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Galinda pushes Elphaba to think differently about her relationship with Fiyero.

Elphaba cleaned herself up quickly before heading back to her room, trying to hide a sly smile. Being with Fiyero felt freeing. Finally, she understood what her body had been asking for, what had been hinted at all this time. She owned her body, and she could decide with whom to share it. And yet, Fiyero wanted more.

He wanted her heart, too, didn't he? She shook her head. He must be crazy. Didn't he realize that she was still only a homeless girl, and he a prince? No matter how she felt – not that she understood it exactly, anyway – she couldn't. And he didn't really want that. He just thought she expected it from him, and she didn't. She knew she felt more for him than just grateful for everything he'd done, but how to best describe it? Words failed her.

"Look who's back." Galinda muttered, looking up from her notebook.

"I'd appreciate it if you'd warn us. I knew you had a class this afternoon, but you were gone almost until curfew." Ama Clutch folded her arms across her chest.

"I'm sorry. It was unexpected." Elphaba nervously fiddled with her hair. Could they tell what she had been doing?

Ama Clutch simply shrugged and left the room. "As you say."

Galinda, eyes back on her notebook, commented, "Who's the boy?"

"Excuse me!" Elphaba swallowed hard.

"I know that look. The flushed cheeks, the swollen lips, the mussed up hair. You've been with a boy." Galinda turned the page simply, as if she were talking about school.

"How dare you say such a thing!?"

"I'm not accusing, just observing."

"I was not doing what you think!"

"Oh? Turn around."

"What? Why?" But Elphaba did as Galinda asked.

"The back of your dress is undone a little."

"It is?" Elphaba ran to the mirror.

Galinda smiled knowingly. "Not really."

"Why would you… oh…" Elphaba sat down on her bed. "Are you going to tell?"

"Of course not. How do you think I know just what you were doing? I've been known to sneak off on my own on occasion. You at least decided to keep it within curfew. So who was it? Anyone I know?" She teased.

"You might, you might not."

"It was that Vinkun prince, wasn't it?"

"You've met him twice!"

"And I know things."

"It's nothing serious." She informed her defensively.

"Oh really? You went to bed with him and it just meant nothing?"

"I don't know about that." Elphaba shrugged. "We're friends."

"Friends who sleep together? That's rich!" Glinda rolled her eyes, giggling. "You really think that's going to work out well? One or both of you is going to get attached. Or maybe you already are."

"I am attached to him – as a friend. This is separate."

"You can compartmentalize that well? Somehow I doubt that."

"You know nothing about me!" Elphaba threw her hands in the air. "You can't just make assumptions about me. I'm not like you."

"Maybe that's because you don't tell me anything, Miss Elphaba the Delirious."

"I didn't think you cared." Elphaba snarled. Why in Oz was this girl interrogating her like this? Never before had Galinda even bothered to ask where Elphaba was going.

"You seemed like you didn't want to talk."

"And I seem like I want to talk now?" Elphaba groaned.

"A little, actually."

"You'd be wrong."

"You knew him before school, didn't you?" Galinda sat down. "I know you tried not to make it obvious. But he's from the Vinkus and you're from the City."

Elphaba shook her head. "Not exactly."

"What does that mean?"

"My past is none of your concern. I'm not leaving myself open for your judgment."

"It sounds like you're the one judging, Miss Elphaba, by assuming that I would judge you so."

"I…"

"So tell me about your past, then."

She supposed it didn't matter, did it? After all, most people ignored her based on her skin color alone. Even if Galinda told everyone, it probably wouldn't change anything. What could it hurt? "Galinda, I lived on the streets for sixteen years. Fiyero found me and took me home." It never occurred to her just how crazy it sounded before.

"Took you home?"

"He wanted to help me." And she believed that, she realized. "He was in the City on business and we kept running into each other. When he had to go back, he asked me to come with so that I could actually have a real life. I applied to Shiz and got in on my own." She felt the need to add that last part. She didn't want anyone to think that she'd used him to get here.

"Is that why you sleep with him? Because he took you in?"

"No! He would never! That was my decision, completely. And it was only a very recent development between us. He didn't use me like that. Please don't think that. I'm not his whore. He's better than that." For a moment, she considered adding that she was better than that, too, but she wasn't quite sure she meant it.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to imply that. I… it just sounds a little like a fairytale."

"I know. Sometimes I'm pretty sure Fiyero himself is straight out of a fairytale." Elphaba laughed. "Too bad I'm not."

"And you don't want to be with him?"

"What could I possibly give him? I'm not a princess, anyway."

"You talk like love is something you have to pay for. It's not. He doesn't want you to give him anything other than your affection."

"How do you know?" She demanded. "You don't know him. Besides, I never said I did want to be with him."

"He's handsome, he's a prince, he pulled you out of poverty, he wants you. What more is there?" Galinda asked.

She thought for a moment. Fiyero was wonderful, really. He was intelligent and sweet. He definitely was nice to look at, and the sex was beyond anything she could ever have wanted. But how could she ever be enough for him? He needed a perfect princess, not some hopeless girl who roamed the streets until someone was nice enough to save her. She gave him everything he wanted from her without needing a commitment from him – of course he wouldn't want her and the mess that came with her. "There's a lot more, Miss Galinda."

"I think you need to figure out what you really want from him and ask him – and soon. Things are only going to get messy."

"They will get messy if we start something. Right now it's easy."

"Miss Elphaba, you mentioned being on the streets… did you have a boyfriend then?"

"No."

"But you weren't, um, chaste?"

"Not your business."

"What I'm asking, Miss Elphaba, is if you ever have been really involved with a man?"

"Not… not emotionally, no." She wouldn't say more than that.

"Then what are you so afraid of? You can't possibly know what's going to happen. You should at least try."

But she wasn't going to. He didn't really want more from her. She was of no use to him as a girlfriend if not for the sex, and she knew it.


	21. Good Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fiyero still wants more, but is uncertain what it is that Elphaba wants. They decide to hide their relationship from his brother.

Though Elphaba had made it clear that she didn't want more, Fiyero wanted everything. But he was afraid if he pushed her, she'd put a stop to the little they did have. And as much as he wanted to tell himself he was strong enough, resisting her was near impossible when she beckoned him to bed. She always needed to be above or at the same level that he was, and he knew it had to do with feeling like she was out of control. He liked being with her whatever way he could, so it didn't bother him much at all.

"You are amazing," he told her.

"You, too." She fell into the bed next to him. "You're also exhausting."

"We've got time." He kissed her slowly. "You can rest here."

She laid her head on his chest. "I appreciate that. Galinda has gotten so chatty lately that it's hard to get any peace."

"You two are really friends now, huh?"

"I don't know. I mean, we actually talk now. But it's too much sometimes."

He ran his fingers through her hair happily. Fiyero had meant to stay up, but suddenly he felt sleepy as well. The calming feeling of having her beside him lulled him into sleep.

"Fiyero, wake up!"

"What?" He muttered.

"It's past curfew."

He sat up a little, looking out the window. It was pitch black. It must be the middle of the night. "Shit. I thought one or both of us would wake up."

"I'm in so much trouble."

"You don't think Galinda would cover for you?"

"I have no idea." She got up and moved to frantically gather her things.

"Don't bother, Elphaba. Just stay. Getting back now or in the morning won't make a difference. There's no use of getting all worked up."

She looked at him strangely. "You… want me to stay?"

"Of course I do."

"You're up for it again, then?"

She thought that was why he wanted her here? Of course, the moment the words were out of her mouth, his eyes were on her body. But for once, he was able to say, "No, not exactly. I mean, if you really want to. But I just meant really staying and sleeping or talking. You were complaining earlier about how talkative your roommate was and wanting peace. I thought you'd want some more of it, and you can get it here."

"Oh." She settled back in beside him. "Thank you."

"I'm getting something out of it, too."

"What?"

_Being with you_. But he didn't say that. Instead, he commented, "Companionship. I don't know about you, but it's lonely here sometimes. You are the best company I could ask for."

"That's sweet," she commented. "You miss home?"

"I like learning, but I do feel somewhat isolated and ostracized here. Don't you?"

She nodded. "But I was always quite isolated, Fiyero. Lurlinemas break is coming up in only a few weeks. You'll get to go home."

"You're coming, too, right? You're still welcome there."

"Only because you won't stop talking about it if I don't." She laughed. "But maybe this, um, aspect of our friendship ought to go on hiatus when we're there?"

He knew that she was probably right, but it didn't mean he liked it. Rod would be angry to find that Fiyero had ended up in bed with Elphaba. The best thing to do would be to hide it from him, especially since their relationship wasn't technically anything more than it had been when they'd left for Shiz. "If you think that's a good idea."

"I think we both do, Fiyero."

And so they returned to Kiamo Ko without a word about what had happened between them. Elphaba almost automatically retreated to her room while Fiyero had tea with his brother.

"Have you found yourself a suitable girlfriend?" His brother didn't waste time.

"I'm at Shiz to learn, Rod, not to meet a woman. I'm sure I will." He already had, and he hadn't needed to be at Shiz to find her, either. But he wasn't going to say that, especially not before Elphaba understood he had more serious intentions for their relationship.

"You _had_ a woman, Fiyero, and you drove her off. You're a prince and you will eventually need to marry."

"Why? I'm not leading the tribe, you are. I don't need a queen or heirs."

"It's expected, Fiyero."

"And I will – eventually."

Rod groaned. "One of these days, you're going to understand the demands of your position. You've had it easy, Fiyero. You can't just run around taking in homeless people and rescuing animals. That is not for a prince."

"Then let me enjoy the time when I can!" Fiyero demanded. "If it's going to change, Rod, let me have my fun while I still have a chance."

"So that's what you've been doing? You haven't found a girl because you've found several?"

That wasn't what he'd meant, but if Rod took it that way he'd let him. He'd lie. That's what it would take. "Yes. I'm just… trying things out."

"Right." His brother looked skeptical.

"Fine. I'm just having a little bit of fun…" He was, in a way. Being with Elphaba… and that's all she wanted it to be, so technically it wasn't really lying, then, was it?

"I didn't peg you for much of a playboy, Fiyero."

He shrugged. "I never had much variety before."

Rod snorted. "Fine. Just as long as you settle down at some point – preferably before you finish at Shiz."

"How's Verda?"

"Stressed over taking care of a baby. Pregnant again."

"Again?"

"What? I can't have more than one child?"

Fiyero nodded. "Of course." He got up. "I was going to go talk to Elphaba…"

It was as though she was an afterthought to Rod. He began getting up, as well. "How has she done at Shiz?"

"She had the highest marks in the incoming class." And he was proud of her for it. He wasn't sure if she was even as proud of it as he was.

Rod paused for a moment. "Really?"

"Yes. I told you, Rod. That test wasn't just a fluke. I knew from the moment I first spoke to her that she was incredibly intelligent."

"So she really could possibly be useful to us."

He didn't like the way Rod had phrased that. Elphaba had spent most of her life only being useful. But at the same time, he knew that any good opinion regarding Elphaba was a great stride on it's own. "She's really done great."

"How is she getting on socially?"

"She's close with a Gillikinese girl from Frottica." He didn't add that the girl was her roommate and they were thrown together. After all, Elphaba and Galinda really had become friends as of late.

"That's interesting."

"She's got more friends than I do, actually." By one.

Rod studied him for a moment. "Maybe you made a good decision when you brought her here."

"I'm certain I did."

 


	22. Broken Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elphaba realizes that Fiyero matters more to her than she originally thought.

**Chapter 22: Broken Heart**

"Tell me all about Shiz," Cerstiq demanded.

"Why don't you go interrogate Fiyero?"

"He's busy with his brother. Besides, you're more interesting than he is."

"I'm sure he'd love to hear that." Elphaba snorted. "Shiz has been a very different experience. But I do think I like it."

"Any eligible men?" Cerstiq teased.

Elphaba gaped at him. "I'm not interested in finding a husband, Cerstiq."

"I just thought that a well educated school girl as yourself might be looking for a partner." The young man rolled his eyes. "I see you haven't changed."

"Not if I can help it!"

Cerstiq laughed. "You're hopeless. You could have any man, probably Fiyero, even. I see the way he looks at you. I'll bet he dumped Sarima just to be with you."

Elphaba swallowed hard. She hadn't really considered that. Yes, there had been a small bubble of joy when she'd found out about that, but the idea that he'd done it _for_ her? "You're exaggerating. They argued all the time and she crossed a line." That was, at least, what he'd told her. "Besides, he doesn't want me at all." At least not more than physically. But she wasn't going to tell Cerstiq that part.

"I've known him most of his life, Miss Elphaba. I've never seen him look at a girl the way he looks at you." The young man folded his arms across his chest. "Maybe he hasn't told you, but he's in love with you."

She shook her head quickly. "You're insane. You have no love life, so you're making up one for everyone else. Fiyero and I barely even talk at Shiz." And that was somewhat true. Almost every time they were actually alone, they had sex. Sometimes there was talking before and after, but other times it was all physical. She liked it best that way – uncomplicated.

"Do you intend to ever marry? Take a lover?"

She shrugged. "It's not on my list of priorities at the moment. I'm in school, Cers, I don't have time to flirt and date. After my test scores, they expect high marks from me. If I want to stay, I need to do well. That doesn't exactly leave room for men."

"Fine, fine. Tell me about the people – it doesn't have to be about men."

"I really only talk to my roommate, a ditzy Gillikinese girl."

"You two must get along swimmingly."

"She's not awful." Elphaba admitted.

Cerstiq snorted. "Why don't you ever tell me anything interesting?"

"There's nothing to tell."

That night, she was sitting on her bed reading when Fiyero walked in. He smiled gently at her. "All settled in for the week?"

She nodded. But she was also confused. They'd agreed nothing could happen here, and he was in her room. "Fiyero, what are you doing here? I thought we'd talked about this."

"About what?"

"I won't sleep with you here."

"And you thought that's why I walked in? I can't just want to talk to you?"

She gazed up at him. "I don't know. We rarely speak alone without getting naked at some point. I just figured…"

"I still like talking to you, naked or not." He sat on the edge of her bed. "You're not… Elphaba, what did he do to you?"

Her heart pounded in her chest. She knew what he was asking, but she didn't know that she really wanted to answer. "What do you mean?"

"You don't have to go into detail, but sometimes you flinch if my hand brushes the wrong place. And if I get above you in any way, there's panic all over your face. I can live with those things. But what scares me is the fact that you still believe your only value is what you can give me sexually. You said you were never forced, but sometimes…"

She curled up and wrapped her arms around herself. "Just the first time." Her eyes darted towards the door. "Would you close that?"

He nodded and closed the door before sitting back down. "And what happened the first time?"

"I remember him saying, 'finally proving your worth.'" She shuddered.

"And you believed him?"

"They were my family!"

"So after that, you did what he wanted," he prompted.

"Struggling only made it hurt worse and last longer. I knew better." She took a deep breath, refusing to look at him. "And then… the other thing…"

"You don't like it when I touch your…"

She cut him off. "He only did that twice. The second time was the night I ran."

Slowly, he placed a hand on her knee. "Have I ever hurt you?"

"Never. I would've told you. I would've stopped you. I'm in control the whole time, Fiyero. It has to be that way. I don't trust…" She stopped, realizing what she'd said.

"You don't trust me?"

"Not exactly. Please don't think that. I don't trust that I can handle even the feeling of someone else in control, no matter how I trust them." She played with her fingers. "And you and I… we're not really involved, Fiyero."

"I beg to differ."

"You agreed. We agreed."

"I agreed because that's what you wanted." He told her.

"Fiyero, we can't be more than that. Don't you understand? I'm not meant for more than that."

"You are meant for whatever you want to be, Elphaba. I know my telling you this isn't going to change your attitude about yourself, but you are so much more than just a sex object. You got into Shiz, Elphaba. You have higher marks than most people could even dream of. Think about that."

She was quiet for a moment. "What do you want from me, Fiyero?"

He slipped two fingers under her chin and looked into her eyes. "I think we need to take a break from this, actually. I care about you, Elphaba, but I can't allow us to continue the way we are. It's only perpetuating the lies. Doing what we've been doing has only made you continue to believe that you're no better than a harlot – and you are better. But you need to figure that out for yourself, without me or anyone else." Fiyero smiled halfheartedly.

She thought for a moment that tears might come, though she didn't understand why. This had never been meant to mean anything – him breaking it off shouldn't hurt at all. But her heart sank and she lowered her eyes. "If that's what you want, Fiyero."

"You are still my friend, you understand that, right?"

"Of course."

"We've been friends this whole time. That doesn't change. And even if you never want to start this again, I will always be your friend."

Her chest tightened for a moment, like she was stifling a sob. She nodded, instead. "Thank you, Fiyero. You're a good person."

"So are you. Elphaba, if I had known everything, I wouldn't have jumped into this with you. Not because I didn't want to, but because I wouldn't have wanted you to do anything until you could feel truly confident in it."

"I did. I came to _you_ , Fiyero."

"And I appreciate that. I also appreciate that you felt comfortable enough with me to be intimate when all your prior experiences were so negative. But you need to get comfortable with yourself, Elphaba."

She pulled away gently. This conversation was getting repetitive and she could feel herself struggling not to cry. "I understand. Would you mind leaving me alone? I have a lot to think about."

"Of course, Elphaba. Let me know if you need to talk." He got up and squeezed her shoulder before leaving the room.

As soon as the door shut behind him, she buried her face in her folded arms. She wished that she wouldn't cry, but the tears came anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Elphaba, who has tried so hard to avoid feeling anything for Fiyero, has found herself brokenhearted. And Fiyero realized that their relationship (as it was) could only hurt her. Part of him wants her to learn to believe in herself. The other part of him just wants her to admit she cares about him. And neither of those seems to be happening, so he decides to do what's best for both of them. Unfortunately, as we'll find, soon, things only get messier from here for a bit.


	23. It Gets Worse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fiyero, in attempting to let Elphaba heal, realizes he's only driven her further away.

He watched her on the train, hating himself for even looking at her. Fiyero had drawn the line for her own good and now he couldn't stop watching her. She had maneuvered herself into a ball, her book in her hands and her hair in a messy bun on her head. Elphaba chewed her lip as she read. And then she looked up at him. He turned away quickly, though their eyes had met for a brief moment. "Sorry," he muttered. "I was just thinking."

"I didn't ask," she replied shortly, going back to her book.

He could hear the irritation in her voice, and sighed. "Elphaba, I really am sorry."

"For what? Staring at me? I'm over it." Her jaw clenched beneath her skin.

"No… for… us…"

"There wasn't an 'us,' Fiyero. I don't care." She kept her gaze focused on her book.

Her words stung a little, but he supposed that had been her intent. Fiyero laid back on his small bed, wondering why she didn't just put up the divider. Although he figured that out later that night.

When she went to change for bed, she simply dropped her clothes to the floor without warning, much like she had begun to do the day he'd taken her back to Kiamo Ko – though this time she knew better. Her lips curved a little when she noticed his staring. "I'm _sorry_. I… I'm so used to…" But still, she took her time with her nightdress, enough for him to notice how her breasts moved with each breath, the tight plane of her abdomen… he wanted to touch her again.

Fiyero swallowed hard and tore his gaze away. "It's fine." She was playing with him. He knew that. But he didn't understand why. Was she hoping to break him, get him to give in and sleep with her? Did she want more than that? Or was this just a game she was engaged in simply for the fun of it?

By the time they got back to Shiz, things had only gotten worse. He wanted to ask her what was wrong, what he could do, but he knew she'd feign innocence and act like nothing was wrong. She'd built up a hard exterior, and she certainly wouldn't let it down for him now. He wanted to wrap her in his arms and comfort her, tell her she could let him in, but it wouldn't be enough.

He was sitting in the common room when the young Munchkin boy and a friend of his sat down beside him. "How are you doing, Master Fiyero?" Boq asked.

"Fine." That was a blatant lie, but he wasn't going to express his frustrations to boy he barely knew.

"What classes are you taking this semester?" The other young man asked. Fiyero had been introduced to him at some point, but he couldn't remember the young man's name. He was thin and pale, likely Gillikinese.

"Economics, Political Sciences, Mathematics, Histories…" He rattled off his list.

"I'll be in Economics with you," the Gillikinese boy said. "I'm going to be a businessman." He stuck his chin out proudly. "I inherit my father's business as soon as I'm done here."

Fiyero nodded, not at all impressed.

"Avaric and I will also be taking the next level of sciences. What about you?"

Fiyero shook his head. And that was probably a good thing, too. Elphaba would be in that class, and perhaps it was better if they had more distance. At the moment, they would only have one class together in the coming semester. "I'm more focused on histories and politics."

"You would be, being a prince." Avaric plopped down next to him. "Must be nice."

There were times when he wished he wasn't a prince at all. "It's my life. I don't imagine I have much right to complain."

"The ladies must throw themselves at you." Avaric said, knowingly.

Fiyero wasn't sure he liked Avaric. "It happens."

"I mean, I don't have to be a prince to have my share of women," Avaric grinned. "I'm trying to help Boq, here, get laid. The poor boy is a virgin."

Boq flushed and punched Avaric. "Really! That's not anyone's business. And I told you, I don't want to get laid! I want a girlfriend, but that part… that's not my focus right now."

"It's every man's focus! Am I right?" Avaric looked to Fiyero.

He only shrugged. Yes, there were some men who wanted only sex. And Elphaba, at times, had assumed that he was one of them – though he believed she thought all men to be that way based on her limited experience. But he had wanted more...

"I doubt he feels that way! Fiyero has a girlfriend, you know, Avaric. And I doubt that's all they do." Boq insisted.

"I don't have… that's over." Fiyero sighed.

Avaric grinned. "That green girl, right?"

"How did you…?"

"I saw her leave your room right before curfew… a lot." Avaric snickered. "She looked quite disheveled at times."

He felt defensive. "You wouldn't understand."

"Oh, I understand better than Boq does, believe me! Interesting how the two of you never really talked outside of _in your room alone_."

He merely shook his head, glaring at the boy.

"Maybe we should stop talking about his ex-girlfriend," Boq opined nervously. "It appears to be a touchy subject."

He threw Boq a grateful glance. Maybe he would have a friend here, after all.

In class, Elphaba wouldn't sit anywhere near him, but he'd expected as much. Unfortunately, it was worse than that, though. To his dismay, Avaric had settled in beside her and was talking to her animatedly. Fiyero watched as Elphaba laughed at something he said. Was this a result of the conversation he'd had with Avaric and Boq? He did not like where this was going.

Fiyero strode over to them, and he knew Elphaba saw him coming. Their eyes met, but she turned back to Avaric. That only upset him further. But what would he say? "Elphaba, Avaric, nice to see both of you." Well, one of them, anyway.

Elphaba's eyes narrowed, and a forced smile crossed her face. "Fiyero, did you need something?"

"What? I can't talk to my friends?" He had promised her they would be friends. Did she not want that? How else could they end up together, the way they were supposed to be, without starting out again as friends? He hadn't said he didn't care for her. He only wanted her to care for herself, first.

"Good afternoon, Fiyero." Avaric smiled and scooted slightly closer to Elphaba.

"Good afternoon. I didn't know you knew each other." His eyes traveled between the two of them.

"Oh, we didn't, but I didn't know anyone else in this class and Elphaba was kind enough to allow me to sit by her." Avaric gave Elphaba a charming smile.

Fiyero wanted to gag. How could she not see through this? "Would you mind if I sat beside you, Avaric?" He was at least going to make them miserable if this was going to happen.

"Sure."

Elphaba seemed to deflate a little in her chair, then turned as far from him as she could while still facing Avaric. "You were saying?"

"I just think our professor doesn't actually know what he's talking about. He's reading out of the book word-for-word. And then when you asked him that _brilliant_ question the other day," Avaric flashed her a charming smirk, "he didn't even know how to answer you and just ignored it!"

"Thank you, Avaric." Elphaba beamed. "You're probably right, though. I have wondered in the past. If he's just going to read out of the book, I might as well read it myself and not have to be here."

"But sometimes hearing the information helps with processing it," Fiyero interjected.

Elphaba rolled her eyes. "Maybe for you."

He wanted to scream at her. Why had she become so cruel to him? They were supposed to be friends. The way she was treating him broke his heart. But instead, he just took it. "True. Everyone has a different learning style."

Her eyes lowered. "That's one way to look at it."

"Then read it out loud to yourself, right?" Avaric dismissed him as their professor walked in. "Anyway, Elphaba, would you like to grab a bite to eat after class and continue this discussion?"

There was hesitation in her eyes. He could see it. But after a moment, she said, "I'd be glad to."

He couldn't imagine anything worse.


	24. Living a Lie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elphaba decides to go out with Avaric, despite the fact that she clearly still cares for Fiyero.

She had been listening to Avaric only to be polite, at first. Originally, she had intended to tell him off. Elphaba didn't trust him – then again, she didn't trust anyone outside of Fiyero. Of course, right now, she wasn't too pleased with Fiyero, either, but that didn't mean she didn't trust him. When Fiyero had walked over to them, the look in his eyes had scared her. No one had ever looked at her the way he did sometimes, and usually she liked that.

But Avaric had been paying attention to her, had been kind and even seemed intelligent. And seeing Fiyero had reminded her that sometimes kindness didn't come with strings. Yes, she was weary of the young man, but she also was lonely, especially with the distance between she and Fiyero.

Elphaba had to push Fiyero away. She'd grown too attached to him, and not being able to touch him hurt her in ways she didn't expect. It'd be easier if she kept him at arm's length. Yes, he'd told her there was a chance for them, but she wasn't certain she believed it. He wanted her to believe in herself, or some other cliché. And no matter how she looked at herself, she'd never be a princess, never be deserving of him.

Besides, who said she had to want a relationship with someone in order to have a meal with them? It was nothing, not yet. Although she wouldn't deny that Fiyero's frown when she agreed to eat with Avaric had pleased her in some perverse way.

So she followed Avaric to some small café west of campus, shivering at the cold. Elphaba caught herself wondering if there were any girls who talked to Fiyero, and if he'd shown any interest in anyone. Why did she even care? She felt girlish and stupid.

"What was that about back there?" Avaric asked after they sat down.

"What do you mean?"

"With Fiyero. He seemed very upset. And you weren't exactly kind to him."

Elphaba sighed. "It's in the past."

Avaric smiled at her. "Good."

He asked her where she was from, about her history. She evaded and lied. Would he laugh if he knew what she'd come from? Would he judge her? Suddenly, she longed for the comfort of Fiyero's room, of their conversations. This couldn't go anywhere, could it? Avaric would never understand – and she could never tell him. She'd never really needed to tell Fiyero anything; he'd always waited for her to be ready and never pushed her.

"I had a great time. Let me buy you dinner Saturday night." Avaric told her as they walked back towards the dormitories.

She bit her lip. Elphaba knew he was asking her on a date. "I suppose." It would be a public place. Even if she didn't completely trust him yet, everyone deserved a chance. Fiyero had proven that to her. She needed to move on.

"Great." He reached out and took her hand in his for a moment, giving her a devilish smile. "I'll see you then."

They separated and Elphaba headed nervously back to her room. Maybe this wasn't a good idea. She missed Fiyero. Maybe she should go to him, tell him she was sorry…

But that wouldn't be enough. He would insist that they try to be real with one another, and that she realize that she was good enough. She couldn't believe him. They were doomed. A real relationship wasn't in the cards for her at all. For Kumbrica's sake, she didn't even know why she was going out to dinner with Avaric on Saturday.

She shook her head and stepped in the room, nodding at Galinda in acknowledgement.

The blonde smiled at her. "I was beginning to worry about you."

"Why? I'm always gone."

"You hadn't been lately. I thought something happened with you and Fiyero. You've been staying in constantly for the past weeks. I didn't want to ask, but I thought something had happened."

"That's over. That's not why I was late."

"Oh? Someone get their feelings hurt?"

"It's not your business."

"Then where were you?"

"Out with a friend."

Galinda raised her eyebrows "A male friend?"

"Perhaps."

"You moved on fast."

"Excuse me? What was going on with Fiyero wasn't anything. So there was nothing to move on from!"

"Wasn't anything? You're kidding yourself! You were so in love with him you couldn't see straight."

"How would you know?"

"I just know."

Elphaba merely glared at her roommate and settled onto her bed, refusing to talk for the rest of the evening.

The next day in advanced life sciences, she ended up sitting beside Avaric. It was like he was everywhere suddenly. He'd probably been in her classes before, but she'd always seen everyone else as a faceless mob who just stared at her. But she didn't really hear much of what he was saying.

"Miss Elphaba?" Their professor called from his lectern after he placed his things on his desk. "May I see you for a moment before class starts, please?"

Elphaba excused herself, flooded with relief. She just felt awkward suddenly with Avaric. That had never happened with Fiyero. She approached the old Goat's desk. "Yes, Sir?"

"That comment you made last week was quite insightful. I went over your tests and papers from last semester, and I believe you've got a knack for this. You are specializing in sciences, right?"

She nodded, trying to keep the flush from her cheeks.

"I'm in need of assistance in the laboratory. I struggle to hold things with my hooves. The University has allowed me a small stipend to hire a student to help me. Would you consider it?"

For a moment, Elphaba could only stare. Fiyero had been the only person who had ever told her directly that she was intelligent. And while she made decent marks, and had managed to pass the admission test with flying colors, there were parts of her that still thought it was a fluke. And now one of her professors was acknowledging her aptitude! "I'd be honored," she stumbled.

"You don't have to give me a decision today. But please do consider it."

She didn't need to consider, but she would. Besides, a small stipend? She could pay Fiyero back for some of the things he'd done for her. Elphaba drifted back to her seat in a haze.

"What was that all about?" Avaric asked casually.

"He… he wants me to be his lab assistant."

He wrinkled his nose. "That sounds like work."

"I'm sure it would be educational." Elphaba insisted.

"Of course." Avaric didn't' say anything more about it.

Avaric took her hand again as they left class, and she didn't draw back. She'd never let Fiyero hold her hand in public, but Avaric was different. With Fiyero, she'd wanted what they had to be secret because she was afraid the outside world would destroy it. Here, she wanted certain people to notice. As they passed Fiyero in the quad, she noticed the way he looked at them, and this time her heart sank a little. But she held her head high. And when Avaric brought her back to her dorm and kissed her in the doorway, she kissed him back.

Maybe she could do this. Being normal wasn't impossible, was it? No one ever had to know about her past. Fiyero wouldn't tell anyone, and she wouldn't. She could go forever pretending she had lived just like everyone else.

Living a lie would be easy.


	25. A Warning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fiyero tries to warn Elphaba away from Avaric, but that only backfires.

He wanted to punch someone. Fiyero had never felt so angry in his life. Avaric had given him a smug glance when Fiyero had seen him walking with Elphaba. He was holding her hand! How could she even _like_ him? She was too good, too sweet for someone so sophomoric.

That night, to his surprise, Avaric knocked on his door. "Fiyero, I wanted to talk to you about this."

"About what?"

"You know what. Elphaba. I didn't mean… are you two still together? You just seem a bit possessive of her."

"No, we're not. And we weren't."

"Something had her in your room pretty constantly." He winked. "You don't have to tell me about that part, that's fine. But I don't mean to make you angry. I just figured, she's available and she's willing…"

He blanched at that. "What do you mean by that? She's not just there for you to use like some harlot, Avaric. If you're only being nice to her so she'll sleep with you…" Fiyero clenched his fists.

"Sweet Oz, Fiyero, let the girl make her own decisions. She certainly seems into it!"

"Get out before I hit you."

"Look, you misinterpreted…"

"Don't bother! Get out!" He slammed the door in the young man's face, the words coming out in a hiss. He kicked his bed and fell onto it.

She'd hate it, but he needed to stop this. Avaric clearly only meant to use her, and he would not allow it. Maybe when he explained to her what Avaric was really like, she'd listen to reason. Besides, he hadn't exactly meant for this. He'd wanted her to heal more before being with _anyone_ , not just him. And he did want her.

So he got up and stalked over to Crage. He vaguely remembered visiting her once at the end of the semester, though it took him several minutes to find the right room. When he knocked, her roommate answered. She looked shocked to see him, but then an amused smile crossed her face. "Why Master Fiyero, I didn't expect to see _you_."

He didn't know what that meant, but he didn't care. "Is Elphaba here?"

"Well, her big date isn't until tomorrow, so… yes. Come on in."

Big date? They were going out? That only furthered his rage. He stepped inside.

Elphaba was sitting on her bed. "What's going on?"

"You can't go out with him, Elphaba."

"I don't remember having to ask your permission."

Galinda coughed. "Um, I'll be… not here." She grabbed her purse and went into the adjoining room, shutting the door quickly behind her.

"Who do you think you are, Fiyero? I'm not your girlfriend and I never was! You have no right to tell me who I can see."

"Elphaba, he's no good. He just wants sex from you."

"And how is that so different from you?" She snapped, folding her arms across her chest. "Besides, how do you even know what he wants?"

"He all but told me! He's on the same floor as me in Three Queens! That's what he does, Elphaba. He finds girls he thinks he can sleep with, has his fun and then bows out. I'm not telling you what to do, I'm warning you."

"I can take care of myself! You of all people should know that."

"I know you can. I'm sure you'll figure it out eventually. But I'd rather spare you the pain."

"Since when? Since you thought of someone else touching me and couldn't handle it? Guess what, Fiyero? You put an end to it. And even if you hadn't, I would still do what I wanted. Because we were never official, never in love, and never actually dating."

"Please, Elphaba, I'm trying to help you."

"What makes you think I don't know exactly what he wants from me?" But her eyes faltered their gaze on his. "Maybe that's what I want, too."

"That's what you think you want."

"I've had it with you, Fiyero! You don't know me nearly as well as you seem to think you do. I'm grateful for what you did for me. I always will be. And I will pay you back. But right now, I'd like you to leave me alone."

In a way, it was nice to hear her speak that way. It meant that she wasn't obsessed with how much she owed him or what she could do for him. It was an afterthought. But knowing he hadn't convinced her to stay away from Avaric, he was frustrated. "Promise me you'll at least be careful."

"Whatever you want. Just go."

He went back to his room feeling dejected. She hadn't taken him seriously. And he certainly wasn't going to try to talk Avaric down. He knew it that in the state he was in, it would only result in some kind of violence.

"Prince Fiyero?" It was the little Munchkin boy, Avaric's friend. He was sitting in the common room as Fiyero passed through. "You seem displeased."

"You can thank your good friend Avaric for that." Fiyero muttered.

"He's not exactly my friend." Boq sighed, closing his book.

"You two seemed pretty chummy."

"You're going to laugh at me, but… I don't really like him that much. But he's very well-liked among the students, particularly the girls. And there's this one girl I've been hoping will notice me." Boq blushed furiously.

Fiyero sat down beside the boy, happy to avoid his own problems for a few moments. "Who?"

"I'm sure you've noticed her about campus. How could you not? She's the most beautiful girl I've ever laid eyes on. Her name is Galinda."

Fiyero gaped. Elphaba's roommate? This hapless boy thought he had a chance with Galinda? He couldn't think of a girl more prissy and self-involved! "I know of her."

"I wish she knew of me," he remarked.

"I wouldn't be too upset about that," Fiyero told him. "She's a bit stuck up."

"Oh, no, Master Fiyero, she's not! Sometimes she acts that way around some of her friends, but she's always helping other people. She volunteers at the school clinic on Saturdays. That's where I saw her. I had the flu last semester and she was there. I'm pretty sure she looked right through me, though."

Fiyero had no idea what to say. There was no advice he could give Boq that would ever give him a chance with Galinda. There may have been a point he might've been able to talk to Elphaba, but she wasn't exactly willing to speak with him at the moment. "I'm sorry about that."

"But Avaric apparently knows her family. They went out a few times in the years before University, and I thought maybe he could help me. But he hasn't really been helpful. He's too busy trying to involve himself with her. Or he was. He seems to have set his sights on someone else."

"I noticed."

"And that's why you were upset."

"A bit."

"Does Elphaba know how you feel?"

"She knows I don't like it."

"But does she know why?"

"I tried to tell her. She didn't want to hear it."

Boq nodded. "That's unfortunate."

It was more than unfortunate. If he didn't stop this, Elphaba was going to end up hurt. And he couldn't let that happen.

 


	26. A Matter of Convenience

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elphaba begins to understand Avaric's motives. Fiyero says the wrong thing.

Elphaba had tried not to be truly angry with Fiyero. He had done so much for her, and she'd been trying just to keep her thoughts off him. But when he'd burst in like a madman, she did feel angry. Maybe he was right – the thought had crossed her mind. Still, he had no right to demand she not see Avaric. And maybe it was that anger that pushed her into going out on the date Saturday night.

It went well enough until they finished eating. "Why don't we go back to my room?" Avaric slid a hand onto her knee under the table.

She flinched and tried to recover. "I… that's not…" Should she? After all, she'd found that she did enjoy sex. But could she trust him enough?

"I'm sorry, maybe that was too forward." He withdrew his hand. "I just feel such chemistry between us. I had to ask. It was inappropriate."

She didn't have the urges around him that she did around Fiyero, so she didn't quite understand what he meant. But she nodded, anyway. "It was unexpected," she admitted.

"Not a terrible suggestion, though?" He raised his eyebrows.

"Um, not tonight." Elphaba couldn't meet his eyes. Was this all he had wanted from her? She wasn't that surprised, actually. In the end, she wasn't good for much more. "I don't mean to ruin everything."

"Nonsense. We'll go out again." He smiled at her. "I shouldn't have asked."

But he had, and now she knew. With new eyes, she examined him. He certainly wasn't ugly, with his boyish grin and thin build. Might he be able to fulfill her desires? She had missed the physicality of sleeping with Fiyero. But she knew tonight, she wouldn't want to find out if there was pleasure in store. Going back to his room alone wasn't safe, and she worried he might try to take control. "It's fine. It's not an awful idea, Avaric, I just am not there tonight."

"That's fine, Elphaba." He threw some cash down on the table. "Let me walk you back."

When they stopped at her door, he pushed her into the wall and kissed her hard in the hallway. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed back, allowing his tongue to invade her mouth as his hand groped roughly at her breast. She'd hoped it would feel good, make her really want him, but it didn't feel sweet or blissful. Carefully, she drew away. "I'll see you in class." Anxiously, she shoved her key in the door.

"Goodnight, Elphaba."

She stumbled into the door and shut it behind her quickly, taking a deep breath. "Don't give me that look," she muttered at her roommate, who was staring at her expectantly.

"I didn't think you'd be back so early."

"You really think I'm that easy?" Elphaba snapped.

"It's Avaric, Elphaba. He's slept with half the girls on campus."

She didn't know that. Of course, she didn't talk to a lot of other girls. And from the way Galinda said it, perhaps she'd been one of the girls. Why hadn't she told her? "You, uh, didn't mention that."

"How did you not know?"

"I knew," she lied. "I just didn't know you knew."

"Everyone does!"

Including Fiyero, then. That's what he'd been so upset about. She'd thought he was exaggerating. "Well, I didn't quite feel up for that."

She'd thought that would be the end of it. Avaric wouldn't try to talk to her again – he hadn't gotten what he wanted. But on Monday morning, the first year students were called to an assembly. Their headmistress beamed out at all of them. "Ladies and Gentlemen, the time is coming for the first year spring formal!"

Elphaba decided she would not go.

"It will be held in one week. I expect to see each and every one of you in attendance. You may bring a date from another school or a different year, if you like. However, a date is not required."

"Please, everyone knows you look ridiculous if you attend by yourself," Galinda opined next to her, snorting.

Like she cared. She'd still go alone.

"I expect you all to dress formally and to behave as adults."

She thought of the dress Fiyero gave her when she'd been his date to his going away party. It was the only formal attire she had. It would suffice.

"There will be flyers with details in all the first-year dormitories. Thank you." With that, they were dismissed.

Elphaba immediately ran back to her room, not wanting to see anyone else. Luckily for her, Galinda seemed to prance off with some friends. So she curled up on her bed and stared out the window.

A little over a year ago, Fiyero had taken her off the streets, away from a life that she now understood was somewhat horrible. But where had that gotten her? She'd never wanted to be the girl who had to go to dances or went on dates with boys just to make another boy jealous. But she was here, more concerned with her social life than her next meal, and sometimes it was strange to remember that. Sighing heavily, she leaned back.

What did she feel for Fiyero, anyway? She knew she was hurt that he'd stopped whatever little affair they were having. But why? Simply because she liked the sex? Because it was nice to be intimate with someone she could trust? Or was there more to it than that?

He'd all but saved her life. It was only natural that she should feel strongly for him. She'd tried to fulfill those desires by jumping into bed with him, and that had helped for a time. But even before he'd said anything, she'd thought about what it meant for them. Those thoughts, though, had only served to remind her that she didn't belong with him. She'd simply resolved to enjoy herself while it lasted. Then he'd ended it.

She hadn't expected to be hurt by his actions, but each time she looked at him now it was like water dripping on her skin. It had been one thing before they'd slept together – it was only a daydream, a fancy – but now she knew what she was missing. And she did miss it. But how could she tell him that? It was ridiculous and foolish.

The next day in class, Fiyero found her. She wanted to yell at him, continue to give him the sassy attitude she'd developed, but looking at him, she felt weak. "Good afternoon, Fiyero."

He smiled at that. "It's good to see you… alone."

Her heart thudded in her chest. Avaric hadn't even gotten to class yet, and she somehow doubted he'd bother to sit by her today. "I do best by myself. You know that."

"Look, that dance… I'm a prince, Elphaba. I'm expected to be able to get myself a date. People will talk if I don't. I was hoping you'd go with me. It doesn't have to mean anything. I just… I thought you might be willing to help me out."

She bit her tongue for a moment. The way he'd just approached the subject pained her. She wasn't just there to be his date when he couldn't find anyone else! And how could he expect it to mean nothing after what they'd done? The anger towards him came rushing back. "I'm so glad I'm your backup, Fiyero." She snarled. "But I don't think I will go with you. I'd rather go alone."

In that moment, Avaric came up behind her and tapped on her shoulder. She turned to him, tensing up even more. But he was smiling at her. "Actually, Elphaba, I was about to ask you to go with me. But if you'd rather go alone…"

"No, no, Avaric, I would gladly go with you." She said sweetly. "It's nice that someone actually wants to go with me and would choose to go with me." Even if she knew what he wanted. It was better than just being the convenient option.

Fiyero brushed her hand with his. "Elphaba, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…"

"Fiyero, leave her alone. She's going with me." Avaric wrapped at arm around her waist and she tried to relax into it.

Fiyero frowned and walked away, his fists clenched.

"Thank you," Elphaba told Avaric.

"No problem. I can guarantee, we'll have a great time."


	27. Take Care

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fiyero has a conversation with Galinda. Avaric and Elphaba's relationship takes a turn for the worse.

He had only treated the dance so casually because he had thought she'd react to it better that way. Fiyero wanted to dance with her, wanted to take no one but her, but he thought if he'd told her that she'd tell him she wasn't fit to be his date. So he'd acted like it meant nothing. Apparently, that hadn't been the way he should've acted. In a way, he was grateful for that. It meant she'd started to think more of herself. But it had also driven her right into Avaric's arms.

He was ready to hit Avaric so hard he'd draw blood. That would still be kinder than whatever that jerk might do to Elphaba. Just thinking about the two of them together made him ill. That Saturday night, he'd sat in the common room all night hoping Avaric would return alone. Thank Oz he had. What if he pushed Elphaba into something? She'd been through enough! He'd better keep his lecherous hands to himself at this dance!

Fiyero decided he should try to talk to Elphaba one last time, try to see if he could be honest with her. He'd tell her exactly how he felt. Not telling her had only hurt both of them, and he needed to make one last effort to fix it before it was too late.

"She's not here. You didn't know she had class right now?" Galinda folded her arms across her chest.

He'd practically memorized her schedule the prior semester. But since he saw her so rarely now, he had no idea what classes she was taking or when. Resigned, he shook his head. "No. I'm sorry for bothering you."

"What happened between you two, anyway? She hasn't been the same person since we came back from the winter holidays." Galinda sighed.

"It's complicated. I was stupid. I should've told her."

"Told her what?"

"That I'm in love with her." He hadn't said it out loud, hadn't even really thought it to himself. But as the words left his lips, he knew without a doubt they were true. "I thought she didn't want that, so I didn't tell her. Now I wish I had."

The blonde looked at him for a moment. "I didn't realize… I thought that she was the one in love. I never much saw you. I knew the way she talked about you. I'd always just assumed that you were the one keeping things strictly physical."

"We both were. I was afraid if I told her, she'd tell me she wasn't good enough and put an end to everything. When I realized I couldn't keep it simple anymore, I told her we needed to end it until she felt like she really was good enough for me. Because she is. She just doesn't believe it. I wanted her to figure that out – alone. Not with…"

"With Avaric."

"Exactly."

"If I had realized this, I never would've let her go out with him! I thought it would be good to help her get over you. Because she's not over you, Fiyero. I don't think she ever will be."

"I messed up, Galinda. I need to fix this."

The young woman shook her head. "Fiyero, you're pushing too hard right now. You were right. She needs to figure it out."

"But Avaric…"

"But she can take care of herself. You know that. So do I."

"He could hurt her."

"She'll handle it. She's been through worse."

He looked over Galinda again. Maybe she wasn't as shallow as he'd originally believed. "She told you? About her past?"

"Not much. I do know she lived on the streets. I know you helped her. That's all she would tell me." Galinda shrugged. "I kind of assumed… I figured you were using her."

He sighed. "I think she thought that, too. I didn't want her to think that way."

"You need to give her time, Fiyero. Let her get this anger out and then talk to her. Constantly demanding her attention isn't going to help you."

"I just can't stand to see her with him."

"It doesn't mean anything to her. You know that, right? When she talks about him, I can tell. She's just going out with him to do something. It was never how she talked about you."

"That makes me feel a little better."

"You should go before she comes back. I'd stay out of her way for a while if I were you, Fiyero. It's the only thing you can do at this point."

He nodded. "I will. Thank you, Galinda."

And so he went to the dance alone. So what if he looked like an outcast? Boq was his only friend, and he didn't really talk to a lot of girls. On occasion, he'd seen a few look at him and giggle, but he'd never known if they were giggling because he was foreign or because they liked him. He also hadn't really cared.

Boq had managed to ask Galinda, but she'd already had a date. He didn't recognize the young man she was with, only that he was a decent looking guy. He probably went to a different school. He and Boq stayed mostly off to the sides, Boq staring at Galinda. For his part, Fiyero did his best to pretend Elphaba and Avaric weren't even there. Just like Galinda had suggested he do.

But when he returned from the restroom, he noticed a door cracked open in the hallway to one of the professor's offices. The lights, however, were out. He reached to close the door, but then he heard voices inside.

"I can't see a thing." It was Elphaba's voice. There was no mistaking it.

"That's how I like it," Avaric replied.

He considered bursting in, putting a stop to this. But he remembered what Galinda had said.

"Avaric, maybe this isn't the best idea…" Elphaba said. " We could get caught."

"Why? Do you make a lot of noise?" He could hear the grin in Avaric's voice.

"Not necessarily, I just don't want to get in trouble. Let's go somewhere else." At this point, Fiyero considered leaving. He didn't want to hear anymore. It would destroy him. But he could hear the uncertainty in Elphaba's voice, and though he knew he should stay out of it, he couldn't leave her alone with him.

"Mmm, but I don't think I can wait."

"Hey! Get your hands off of me."

"What's the matter? You've been into this the whole time."

"I didn't mean you couldn't touch me. Just not _there._ "

Should he burst in? Should he stop him?

"Fine. Just pull your dress up and bend over the desk."

"No. You know what, Avaric? I don't deserve this. The fumbling in the dark, the groping? That's not what I want. I'm leaving."

"I could get better anyway," Avaric muttered. "I just figured you'd be easy. But you're not worth the trouble."

"Not to you!" As Elphaba stepped out of the room, she saw him. "Fiyero, I…"

"You don't need to explain. I'll go."

"No, wait." She grabbed his arm. "It's not what you think."

"I know what it was. And I'm glad you walked away. But you should go back to your room. I won't bother you. I won't demand the details. It's fine, Elphaba." The conversation he'd heard had been enough for him. Whatever worries he'd had about Avaric were gone. And he knew she'd stood up for herself, and he loved her more for it.

"I'd rather go back to your room and talk, Fiyero. If you want to."

He was surprised. "I… yes, of course."

"I'll meet you there in a few minutes. I left my bag in the other room. And I should let Galinda know I'm leaving."

"Right." He headed back to his own room to wait for her. He was going to tell her the truth this time. Nothing would stop him.


	28. Thank Oz

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fiyero and Elphaba discuss their problems. Elphaba finally admits her feelings.

She'd been willing to go along with it, willing to be used and thrown away like she always had. While being with him hadn't felt as sweet as it felt with Fiyero, it had at least been in her control. But then he'd touched her, and it didn't feel right. She knew, then, that she wanted something that felt right, like it had with Fiyero. And she knew… she knew she wasn't going to take less than that, not today. Maybe she wasn't a princess, or a gorgeous middle class girl from Gillikin, but she was smart. And she'd taken care of herself these last weeks. She wasn't perfect, but she deserved better than to be treated like trash.

And then Fiyero had been standing there when she'd walked away. Had he followed her? She'd looked over at him several times that night, and he hadn't even looked back once. So how had he known? She didn't care, though. He was there, and she needed that.

Galinda gave her a look when she told her she was leaving, but she didn't say anything. Elphaba grabbed her bag and headed across the campus to Three Queens. The dorms were mostly empty. The first floor was all first-years and they were all still at the dance. Except Fiyero.

Before he could say anything, she told him, "I'm sorry. I've been selfish and angry. You wanted to put an end to us, and that was fair. I didn't want to admit I was hurt, Fiyero."

"You think it didn't hurt me?" He took her hand and pulled her inside, closing the door. "It killed me, Elphaba. But I wanted you to see yourself the way I see you. I'd wanted more from the beginning, but I was too afraid to ask. And that wasn't fair to you."

"You wanted me? More than just…?"

"Yes! You really think I didn't?"

"I thought…" She caught herself smiling. "I thought you would have said something."

"I thought you didn't want that. I thought that even if you did, you certainly didn't think you deserved it. I should've been more respectful, given you space, but I just wanted to be with you in anyway that I could. I was selfish."

She sat down on his bed. "Oh, sweet Oz."

"I'm in love with you, Elphaba. I'm done pretending that I'm not."

Love? He loved her? Was that what this strange feeling was? All this time she'd known what she felt for him had been different. It had never occurred to her that it was love. "You were right, though, Fiyero. I probably would've told you I don't deserve you."

"You still believe that?"

"I'm not a princess, Fiyero. Maybe… maybe I'm not perfect. I care about you. And I do want that. I…"

"You don't think you deserve love, Elphaba?"

"Not exactly. But sometimes I don't think I deserve it from you, after all you've done for me." She admitted.

"But you know you deserve it?"

She nodded.

He wrapped her in his arms. "That's enough. We'll get there." Fiyero kissed her, his lips gentle against hers, not demanding, not forceful. That familiar rush filled her again, and she welcomed it as she kissed him back. "I love you," he murmured.

"Prove it," she replied, pulling him down onto the bed.

"Only if you promise," he breathed, unhooking her dress, "to let it mean something this time."

She undid his tie and unbuttoned his shirt. "I do."

He stopped for a moment, looking down at her. He moved to roll them, as he always had so she could be comfortable, but she refused to budge. "What?"

"I want you like that. I trust you, Fiyero." She kissed his chest as her hands moved to unfasten his trousers. "I promise."

He cupped her cheek. "If you need me to move, to change, you just give me the word. I won't push you."

"I know. That's why I trust you." She tossed her head against the pillow as his mouth found her breasts again, whispering kisses along her skin. Her hands ran through his hair as her skin became taut under his tongue. His mouth was hot as he teased her flesh.

His kisses trailed lower and lower until he found her parted legs. As he moved to taste her, she whimpered, her hands clutching the sheets. He circled her nerves with his tongue, his hands rubbing her thighs tenderly. Her hips arched to meet him.

The tension within her built as he slid a single finger inside of her, his mouth still focused on that sensitive area. Her legs fell further open as he increased the pressure little by little, his hand moving faster, his tongue pushing harder. Her climax came in waves, and she moaned as her body sizzled beneath his attentions.

He smiled at her, looking into her eyes. "You're sure?" She could feel him pressed against her, ready to enter her.

"Very." She pressed her hips up, keeping eye contact.

It felt so natural as his body met hers and she sighed at the feeling. He drew back a little and pushed back in, his arms braced above her, eyes still on hers. She wasn't afraid, too encompassed in the sweetness of him filling her, reaching into her and drawing pleasure from each nerve in her body. Her legs wrapped around his waist, pulling him deeper. They both groaned a little at the feeling.

Each movement brought her to a new height, and she clung to him. He moved deeper, burying himself into her very core and she lost herself in the pleasure. His thrusts sped up, her body following his lead as they both panted in sync. One of his hands cupped her breast, tweaking the peak between his fingers gently. His lips crashed against hers, their tongues meeting.

And the swell began again and again as he moved within her, until she thought she could take no more and her body would dissolve into nothing but liquid pleasure. She moaned against his shoulder as her release came tearing through her body, shaking her to the center as he thrust one final time, sheathing himself to the hilt. The look in his eyes was intoxicating. "I love you, Elphaba."

And the words came simply. "I love you, too." She reached up and touched the diamond on his cheek. "You feel so good."

He kissed her forehead. "Mm, you do, too."

"I'm sorry," she said again. "I never meant for this to become such a mess."

He pulled back and lay beside her. "We both had a hand in that. And it doesn't matter now."

She smiled a little. "I suppose it doesn't."

"I know you don't think you're right for me, but will you at least try?"

"No," she replied sarcastically, "I just slept with you because I don't like you at all and I don't want to try."

"Elphaba!" He rolled over her again and kissed her hard. "I mean it."

"I know. I'll try. I can't promise I'll be good at this."

"There's nothing to be good at. I'm not asking you to act like a princess. I'm not asking you to change anything. If we get to that point, we'll talk about it. I'm not even going to be a king, Elphaba. I'm only a prince, and I can choose who I want."

"Your brother couldn't?"

"My parents chose Verda. They'd been engaged since they were maybe eight."

"That's awful."

"They considered choosing a wife for me, but that got left to my brother when they died. And he didn't have the heart to force me, though he did strongly suggest Sarima was the right one."

"He won't like this, will he?"

"Now that you've been at Shiz a while, he'll like it better than he might've before. But no, he probably won't love the idea. But I do, and that's what matters." He played with her fingers, kissing each of them. "Stay with me tonight. I'm sure you won't be the only girl who misses curfew tonight."

"I can't say no to you," she told him. "Although there were times I tried."

He pressed her palm to his face. "You'll stay, then?"

"I'm probably the only girl who is spending the night with a boy other than the one who took her to the dance."

"Thank Oz for that."

They both laughed.


	29. All You Wanted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fiyero and Elphaba begin discussing the terms of their relationship.

He woke still grinning stupidly, his hand on Elphaba's hip as she slept beside him. She wasn't smiling, but she was peaceful. Fiyero gently nudged her awake. "Good morning, my love."

She blinked, looking at him. "Mm, I'm sore. You kept me up all night."

Just remembering made him want her again and he struggled to ignore the building need for her. "You were quite pleased with that, though."

"I certainly was." She giggled. "I guess I should go explain myself to Galinda, huh? She probably thinks I spent the night somewhere else."

"I think she won't be surprised."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Just… we had a conversation the other day. I came to talk to you and you weren't there."

"What did she say? That little…"

"Nothing, Fae. It's fine. She could tell I was upset and asked me what happened between us."

"Tell me you didn't say anything."

He looked away. "I was frustrated, Fae. I didn't know what else to do. I thought maybe she could help me figure this out."

"And what did she say?"

"To stay away from you."

"Some advice," she laughed. "And clearly you didn't take it."

"I tried to. But I heard your voice in the hall and I worried. I was about to leave, I swear."

"Good! I can handle myself. I took care of that my own way. And he didn't try to force me, anyway. Besides, even if he had… I know how to fight, Fiyero."

"I suppose he's just a playboy, not a rapist." He nuzzled her nose with his. "Why did you even go with him? If you knew you deserved better…"

"I knew it, but I didn't acknowledge it. And I liked the attention. Besides, you asked me like I was a second thought, and that hurt. He was there."

"I asked you that way because I didn't want to freak you out."

"I realize that now." She sighed. "It was stupid, I know."

"We were both a little stupid," he told her.

She kicked her legs out a little. "I suppose I should go." But before she got up, she looked back at him. "Except, I can't help thinking you might have other plans for me."

She'd noticed? "Well," he said, "you have already missed curfew anyway, a few more hours can't hurt."

When she finally left, he kissed her goodbye heavily and watched her walk away. He gathered up his things and headed to the common room to do some work. In his room, it smelled too much like sex and like her for him to focus.

Boq was sitting, staring halfheartedly at his mathematics homework. "I didn't see you leave last night. What happened?"

"I didn't feel well," Fiyero said. "I didn't mean to abandon you or anything."

"It's fine. I wasn't in the best mood anyway. I left pretty quickly, too." He flipped a page. "I hate math."

Fiyero laughed. "I share your feeling."

"You seem happy. I would've thought you'd be miserable this morning. Especially when Elphaba and Avaric disappeared last night."

He hadn't even seen them disappear. "Oh? I hadn't noticed."

"You were trying pretty hard to ignore them last night." Boq commented. "I shouldn't have said anything."

Maybe he should tell Boq. He didn't want Elphaba getting a reputation. Sneaking off with one boy wasn't a big deal, but with one like Avaric? "I saw him on the way out of the bathroom, actually. He was leaving alone."

"I did notice her come back to grab her things. Maybe they met up… I did think I saw her slipping out… I'm sorry. I'll stop."

"I wouldn't worry about it."

"You are way too calm about this." Boq observed. "Did you follow them or something? Break them up?"

"I didn't have to," he replied smugly.

"What in Kumbrica's arse happened?" Boq demanded. "Come on, Fiyero, my life is miserable. You're happy this morning. Let me at least share in some of it."

"Fine. If you must know, they left separately because she finally saw through him. And she was going to meet me."

"You got her back?"

"I didn't do anything. She came to me. I think he pulled a move and she didn't like it. I don't really care what he did. I just care that she's with me."

"Good! I hope she kicked him in the balls or something. He deserves it."

Fiyero snorted. He knew she hadn't, but he liked the image. "He does."

When he saw her in class that week, he took the seat beside her and took her hand. She turned her hand over in his. "I thought you might insist on following me around."

He laughed. "I only see you twice a week in this one class."

"Oh, you and I both know you'll see me plenty after classes."

"Let me take you out, then. A real date."

"I suppose I have to." She pretended to pout for a moment before smiling at him.

Fiyero noticed Avaric walk in. His eyes landed on the two of them. The young man rolled his eyes and sat down in a different area. Fiyero glared at him.

"Fiyero, don't. I see that."

"He tried to have his way with you in a dark office, Elphaba." He whispered.

"And I didn't let him. Besides, you've had your way with me plenty."

"In my room. Mostly in my bed."

"Mostly." She gave him a hooded smirk.

"And usually I could at least see you."

"And I could see you. And I like that, for sure."

"We need to drop the subject," he decided. Just talking to her about it was arousing. "You are beautiful, though. And I do very much enjoy looking at you."

She looked down for a moment at their hands. "We make quite a pair."

"A good one," he told her.

He couldn't wait to take her out like she really deserved. After all this time, they'd finally gotten here. More than a year of knowing each other, of avoiding it, and now it was real. He loved her, and she loved him. What more could he want?

"Does tonight work for you?" He asked.

"I have to work with Dr. Dillamond. Tomorrow?"

"Why? You need help in class?"

"No, Fiyero. I'm his lab assistant. You, um, you missed a few things while we weren't talking much." She looked at him and said proudly, "He told me he's impressed with me and needed a lab assistant. I've been working with him for two weeks now."

"That's great, Elphaba." And it was. Maybe that was where some of her newfound confidence had come from.

"You know you could've told me. I wanted us to be friends. I wanted more than that, actually, but I did want you to figure out what you wanted first."

"Well, I did. And I want you."


	30. Real and Not Real

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elphaba still has trouble adjusting to her relationship with Fiyero, thrown by how good he is to her.

"Elphie, I'm getting frustrated."

She groaned, looking up at her roommate. "What now?"

"You were out all night the night of the dance. And you're disappearing a lot. But I know Avaric is going after Pfanee. What in Oz are you doing?"

"You know, Galinda, the way you keep track of my whereabouts is a little obsessive."

"You're evading the conversation, Elphaba."

"Fine. The night of the dance, Avaric tried to get in my pants while we were all still in the building. I decided I wanted a little more romance and walked out on him… and straight into Fiyero."

"Oh!" Galinda sighed happily. "Thank Oz!"

"Yes, I understood you and Fiyero had a lovely little chat." She gave a pointed look to her roommate.

"I just wanted to help him – and you. I didn't know he cared so much about you, Elphaba. It was so sweet. I thought he'd pushed you away, not the other way around. You should've seen his eyes, Elphie, and how he talked about you. I wish there was a boy that in love with me!"

"There is, Galinda. His name is Boq."

The blonde wrinkled her nose. "He's odd, though." Then she got up from her chair and plopped next to Elphaba. "So you and Fiyero are a thing now? You worked it out?"

"A thing?" Elphaba laughed. "Yes, we're together. Whatever that means." She curled her legs under her.

"You could be a princess!"

"Please do not say that." Elphaba cringed. "I love him, Galinda, but I am no princess."

"But he's a prince."

"I came from the streets. I'll never be refined enough to be a princess."

"When you first got here, I had no idea you were from the streets. He taught you how to act, didn't he? What's to say you can't do that again?"

"I don't want to be a princess. That's too…" She shrugged. It sounded ridiculous. Being swept off the streets by a prince had been crazy enough, but marrying him? Becoming a princess? This wasn't an old folktale. In the old folktales, though, there wasn't a lot of premarital sex, either. And they had plenty of that. She caught herself grinning at that, and thought that Galinda might wonder so she bit her lip.

"Give it time."

"I never said I wouldn't."

They didn't return to Kiamo Ko for the spring holidays, and for that she was grateful. While Fiyero said what his brother thought didn't much matter, she worried. They were about to spend a whole summer under his brother's watchful eye, and she'd never liked how he looked at her before she'd been involved with Fiyero. Now…

"What are you worrying about?" Fiyero asked, brushing a strand of hair back from her face.

She'd stayed in his room for most of the spring holidays, since there were no chaperones or Amas. Elphaba looked out the window again, "Would you laugh if I told you I was already worried about the summer and how your brother is going to take this?"

He gave her a thin smile. "We'll be fine." Fiyero kissed her forehead. "I love you. That's enough."

She rolled her eyes. "That is certainly not enough. Plenty of people love each other. That doesn't mean it works out."

"You are fretting over something you can't do anything about."

"I'm not fretting! I'm just… concerned."

"Same thing."

She crawled back into his arms. "Is it strange that sometimes this still doesn't feel real?"

He buried his face in her hair. "Why? You certainly feel real to me."

"Fiyero, my life was bleak, to say the least. And the chances of it getting better were slim. The chances of it being like this, though, might as well have been nothing. And somehow I'm here. It was hard enough to adjust to the castle, then to Shiz, but to really being loved… I've never known this. I've never felt this the way I do now. And I'm so used to not having a lot good in my life. Now there's too much." She sighed. "Please don't think I'm crazy."

"I never thought you were crazy before and I certainly don't now." Fiyero replied. "Maybe if you thought about it differently. You had an almost impossible life. I'm not sure if I believe in an Unnamed God, or in Lurline, or the pleasure faith. But I think maybe there's something at least trying to balance the world. And your life was unbalanced. This is a way of making it right. You've been through enough."

"So you think you're some kind of gift sent from whatever deity?" Elphaba teased. "That's a little narcissistic."

"You are the gift from heaven, not me," he told her. He kissed her neck.

"Stop that!" She batted him away. "I hate it when you talk like that."

"That's exactly why I do it." He grinned at her. "You look gorgeous when you're angry."

"Oh, please." She shrugged away, but she grinned. "You are too much for me!"

"That sounds very similar to something you said last night," he murmured. His arms wound around her waist. "But it wasn't a complaint, then."

"Fiyero!"

He pressed his forehead against hers. "I live to please, sweet Fae."

"When did you start up with that nickname, anyway?" Elphaba asked, tracing his knuckles with her fingers. "And why?"

"Why not? Do you hate it?"

"No, it's… it's pretty. But I've never been called anything but my name."

"Galinda calls you Elphie."

She winced. "I hate that."

"I noticed. And I don't know where it came from. It just sounded nice. People give each other nicknames, you know, when they're in a relationship."

"Oh?" She looked at him. "What did you call Sarima?"

"What did you call Avaric?" He shot back.

They were both quiet for a moment before she broke it. "Maybe talking about our history isn't the best idea." She kissed his cheek. "What does it matter, anyway?"

"It doesn't. I meant nothing by it. I didn't call her anything, by the way. At one point, she tried to call me FiFi…" He shuddered. "I put a stop to that, though."

She couldn't help it. She giggled. "FiFi? Are you serious?"

"Please, don't ever call me that."

"I couldn't. Not with a straight face." She stuck her tongue out at him. "You don't have to worry about ridiculous nicknames from me."

"That's a relief."

She leaned back on his bed again, closing her eyes for a moment. The last few days with him had been almost perfect. They hadn't really fought; they'd never felt rushed; they hadn't had any outside worries. It was nice to just exist with him. But she couldn't help feeling like it was too good, like something was wrong somewhere that she just wasn't thinking about. Maybe she'd hit her head, was in an unconscious state, and this was some dream that her sad little mind had come up with to keep her alive. She felt his lips press against her bare shoulders. "What was that for?"

"Does it have to be 'for' something every time I kiss you?" He asked playfully.

"Just for my pleasure, I suppose." She laughed, her eyes fluttering open and landing on him. "Sometimes I wish…" Her voice trailed off. "No."

"What?"

"I wish you'd been my first… that you hadn't ended up with damaged goods."

He brought her closer to him. "Elphaba, don't say that. Do I wish you hadn't had to go through what you'd gone through? Of course I do. But I accept what happened to you. I wish it hadn't, because of how hurt you were. But it doesn't matter to me if I was your first, your second, or any number after that. What matters is that I'm yours right now. And you're not damaged to me."

"I couldn't even let you be on top for months when we first started sleeping together."

"So? I liked that just as much as I like it now. It wasn't about what position we were in, Fae. It was about being with you."

Elphaba smiled at that, and kissed him again.


	31. Back Off

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fiyero and Elphaba return to Kiamo Ko and are confronted with Rodine's displeasure.

He didn't tell her, but he wasn't exactly looking forward to the summer, either. Fiyero didn't care about his brother's opinion, but he worried Rod would say something that would shatter the confidence Elphaba had so cautiously acquired. However, they had to tell him. If they didn't, he thought she'd think he was ashamed of her. And he was anything but.

His only saving grace was that they'd decided he'd tell Rod on his own. That was probably best. If Rod was angry, maybe he could temper it a bit before Elphaba saw. Fiyero broached the subject only hours after they returned home for the summer.

"What is it?" Rod looked up from his papers. He sat at his desk in the throne quietly examining some correspondence he'd gotten from the City. "I thought you'd be exhausted. Everyone practically swarmed you when you got home."

"I wanted to talk to you about something, Rod." Fiyero sat at the chair across from the desk. "I realize this isn't what you want to hear."

Rod chuckled slightly. "That's a great way to start a conversation. Please tell me you didn't do something stupid at Shiz."

"Of course not! But… I did find a girlfriend."

"Why do I get the feeling it's Elphaba?" Rod sighed.

"How…?"

"You've always wanted her, Fiyero. And I told you it wasn't a good idea. But you've been on your own at Shiz, and… it doesn't exactly surprise me."

"Please, Rod, she's more than you think she is. I know you don't like where she came from, but look at where she is now. I'm begging you not to act disapproving towards her. She loves me, Rod, and I love her."

Rod buried his face in his hands for a moment. "I really wish you hadn't, Fiyero."

"I know."

"There's no stopping you, is there?"

"Probably not."

"I can't tell you that I like it. And I really hope you don't end up expecting to marry her. But there's nothing I can do about it. Just please don't do anything stupid. How long?"

"Less than three months."

"And you expect my approval?"

"Just… just don't act like you hate her, Rod. Don't treat her like she's not worthy of me. She is. You don't really know her. She's beautiful, intelligent, fierce and stronger than you could imagine. Forget about where she's from."

"That's not so simple. And you can ask that of me, Fiyero, but not everyone will forget that."

"They don't need to know."

"Some of them do."

Sarima. She knew where Elphaba had come from, and she'd been none too pleased about it. She'd probably said things to people. He shouldn't have ever said anything to her about Elphaba. Or he should've lied. "Rod, what does it matter? You're king. I'm never going to rule. Your children will."

"That's not the point! A prince is expected to uphold certain values. How do I explain that to our people?"

But he wouldn't let that ruin his relationship with Elphaba. "That's not my problem."

"Fiyero!"

"Let me have this, Rod."

"We're going to revisit this at some point," he threatened.

"Whatever you say." Fiyero walked out of the room.

He convinced Elphaba to spend the night in his room, though they did nothing other than sleep. Fiyero wrapped her in his arms – she always insisted on facing him when they slept. She didn't like the feeling of his body behind hers, and he knew why. Of course, she'd never told him that was why she slept that way, but it hadn't been hard to figure out.

The next morning at breakfast, the room felt stifling as they ate quietly. Verda was uncharacteristically silent, and Rod kept staring at them. Eventually, Rodine said, "So, Elphaba, you've been doing well at Shiz."

"Yes, Your Highness." Elphaba's head shot up – she'd been nibbling at her food – and her eyes got wide.

"Good for you." Rod said with a forced smile. "And you and Fiyero are, um, dating?"

Elphaba looked to Fiyero urgently. When he nodded, she said, "Yes."

"I don't mean to pry, but may I ask what it is about Fiyero that you like so much?"

Her arms were stiff at her sides, and her eyes flickered a bit. "He's sweet, and he's kind. He's certainly intelligent. I enjoy talking to him. I always have."

Fiyero reached over and took her hand. "Rod, why the inquisition?"

"It was a question, Fiyero." Rod continued. "And you sleep together?"

Fiyero almost shot out of his seat. "Rod!"

"She slept in your room last night, Fiyero." Rod said evenly. "I'm assuming that means you've been intimate."

"I wasn't aware that was frowned upon in this castle," Fiyero replied. "Or should we talk about Ferni?" Perhaps he shouldn't have gone that far, but bringing up their sex life was crossing a line. What had happened to the simply unspoken way sex had been dealt with since he was younger?

Verda's eyes narrowed.

Rod looked over at Fiyero with surprise and horror. "What makes you think…?"

"If you're going to treat her this way, Rod, then I'm going to defend her. If that means I have to go after you, I will." Fiyero snapped.

"Fiyero, stop it!" Elphaba grabbed him. "You're being ridiculous. Yes, his questions are probing. But he's not judging, just asking."

Rod quirked a half-smile at that. "Thank you, Miss Elphaba."

"And yes, Your Highness, we've slept together." Elphaba replied, her eyes set on Rod's. "It's not as though I was his first."

Rod snorted at that, despite Fiyero's horror. "I gathered that much some time ago."

Fiyero could feel himself flushing heavily. Rod had been paying more attention to his behavior growing up more than he had thought. Part of him wanted to excuse himself, but he wouldn't leave Elphaba alone for Rod to continue the questioning.

"Was he yours, though, Miss Elphaba?"

"I don't believe it matters and I don't believe it's your business," she said coolly.

Fiyero shot his brother a look. He would not let Rod dredge up Elphaba's painful past.

Rod cocked an eyebrow at him, but changed questions. "Where do you see this going – this relationship of yours?"

"Right now I'm just enjoying being with him."

"So you're not aiming to become a princess?"

"I don't care who he is or what his title means."

"You'd be the first."

"You're right. I do care. But I certainly don't want it. I care because I don't like it." She folded her arms across her chest. "You know where I come from. Do you really think I dreamt of being a princess? I dreamt that I'd have enough food for the week!"

"Of course." Rod put his fork down. "Well, that was a delicious meal. I think I'll retire for the evening." He held a hand out to his wife, who would not take it. She merely left the room, not even waiting for Rod.

"I think I'll go to bed as well." Elphaba shot out of the room quickly.

Fiyero stood up. "That was uncalled for, Rod!"

"And you bringing up a girl that I haven't spoken to in years wasn't?" Rod glared at him. "In front of Verda?"

"She knows you two didn't choose each other!"

"And if you're not careful, the same thing will happen to you. I still need to approve, Fiyero."

"There's nothing wrong with Elphaba! And we're not there, yet, anyway." Fiyero groaned. "Why did you have to ask her about sex? That was unnecessary."

"Was it? She got evasive."

"Rod, you have no idea what happened to her on those streets! Of course she got a little uneasy about it. You should never have asked her that."

Understanding registered in his brother's face. "Sweet Oz."

"Back off of her." Fiyero shook his head. "She's been through enough."


	32. Questions and Answers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elphaba decides it's time to look for her family.

She'd thought she could take anything Rod threw at her. Elphaba had steeled herself for the questioning, even anger. But when he'd flipped her comment about Fiyero back at her, she'd frozen. It had been stupid to make such a comment in the first place. She might as well have asked for it.

Fiyero came after her only a few minutes after dinner. "I'm sorry he did that."

"I think we both knew he would."

"Those questions were too much, though. I knew he'd ask about us, but what happens behind closed doors shouldn't be his business. What you've been through shouldn't be, either."

"Would you stop referring to it that way, Fiyero? You won't say the word. I get that. I don't like the word, either. But I don't like the term you're using. I'd rather it never get mentioned."

He sat down on her bed beside her. "I didn't know. I'm sorry."

"It's fine. Does he know, now? I'm assuming you said something to him after dinner."

"He doesn't know exactly, but he's aware there was… a trauma, yes." He placed a hand over hers. "That's not mine to tell, Elphaba. It doesn't matter to me if you never tell another soul or if you tell the world."

She looked over at him and kissed him softly. "You're too good."

"I try."

For the most part, the summer stayed uneventful. They had the occasional argument about how much time they would spend together or whether it was appropriate for him to be affectionate towards her in public, but for the most part they were peaceful. The days were long and the weather stifling, but she liked not having anyone to answer to – no professors, no Majik, nothing. It was strange, at first, but it was also nice.

However, towards the end of the break, Rodine approached her as she sat studying in the library. "Miss Elphaba, we should talk."

She gulped. For the most part, he'd left her well enough alone, even despite his feelings about she and Fiyero. There was a slant to his gaze she wasn't certain of. "What is it?"

"I have a few questions for you."

"And those questions would be…?"

"First of all, is that green skin genetic? Are your parents green? Where are your parents from?"

"You know I don't know those answers."

Rodine sat across from her and shook his head. "That's unfortunate. You see, one day Fiyero will want children. And we can't have the prince going around having half-breed green kids, can we?"

Elphaba gaped at him. Children hadn't been on her mind at all. Neither had her past – she'd been trying her best to avoid thinking about it. "I suppose that would be his decision, wouldn't it?" She tried not to show that he'd rattled her.

"I was hoping this was some silly little fancy, but as the summer has gone on, I've realized how serious Fiyero is about this. You can't marry my brother, Miss Elphaba. He needs a real princess."

"I never said I intended to marry him."

"I have a feeling he has intentions in that direction, eventually."

"Why is it even your business? He's your brother, but I'd never hurt him. Why does anything else matter?" She demanded. She'd wanted to act like she didn't care, but she was feeling defensive. Fiyero was too good to her, and she wouldn't let Rod take him away.

"Because those are questions my people are going to want answers to. I suggest you find a way to answer them or break off this little tryst with my brother before one of you gets hurt." Rodine got up and walked out.

Elphaba stared after him for a moment. He had a point. She had no idea what she might pass on to any future generations, or if she wanted future generations. Fiyero would want them, probably had to have them. Hadn't she thought about this? What was she even doing with him? Was there a future for them? What would that even mean?

"Fae?" She'd been sitting staring blankly at the table for hours when he finally came to find her. "Is something wrong? You're going to miss dinner."

"Do you want children?" She asked.

"That was… I don't know. Why?"

She shook her head.

"What's going on?" He demanded, sitting beside her.

"Your brother came to talk to me, and he made some very valid points."

Fiyero buried his face in his hands for a moment. "I told him to leave it. I thought he'd accepted us. What did he say?"

"Nothing that wasn't true. I don't know my past, my family, where I come from. If we have a future together, and you want a family, I don't know what I'm passing down. And I don't even know what the child would be, half-Vinkun half-unknown? Will it be green?"

"You're a bit ahead of yourself. And so is my brother. Besides, who cares?"

"I… I think I do." She realized. "I want to know where I came from. I want to know who I am."

"You know who you are. You're intelligent and beautiful and independent and strong…"

"I know that. Well, most of it." She flushed. "But Fiyero, you're a prince. You're Arjiki, Vinkun. You knew your parents, your siblings."

"And you're going to let that ruin us?"

"No. But I want to find out about them, Fiyero. I need to know. Why did they let me go? Was it this?" She gestured to her skin. "I always figured it was. Are there others like me? Are they like me? Someone has to know something. Green girls aren't just born without someone noticing!"

He bit his lip. "Elphaba, you realize the most likely person to know where you came from is…" Fiyero trailed off and played with her fingers. "I can take you to the City if that's what you want."

There had to be another way. Besides, Majik had told her everything he knew – at least, that's what she thought. She'd been abandoned in the City, a note with her name. That was it. "I know everything he knows, Fiyero. There's nothing there."

He seemed relieved at that. "Good. I didn't really want to put you through that."

"Fiyero, I could handle it if I needed to. But I won't because it won't get me anything." She withdrew her hand from his gently. "But I need to know."

"Because of what Rod said? We can be together without knowing that. I don't want you searching out all of this just because of that, Fae."

"Partially. But also because it's a part of me. It's my past. I'd always accepted that I'd never know. I didn't care, then, because there was no reason to. I didn't have time to look for clues or to even think of it. Now I do, and I want to know."

He kissed her cheek. "That's fair. I'll help you look."

"I don't even know where to start, though. I mean, someone had to take notice of such an abnormal child, unless my parents were the same color. But if there were others like me, wouldn't I have heard about them?"

"I don't know. Most people haven't heard about you until they see you."

She sighed. "So we're nowhere."

"We can reach out to prominent older midwives, ask if they remember."

"Reach out to them where?"

"Everywhere, I suppose."

"Fiyero, there've got to be hundreds of thousands…"

"Why don't we start with the older women? They'd have heard the stories, trained the younger ones. They might have heard of your birth. Besides, you were born more than eighteen years ago. The younger midwives would've been children!"

"I suppose."

"I can't imagine anyone giving you up, though. And I really wish we didn't have to deal with anyone who was cruel enough to do such a thing."

She cocked her head at him.

"What? They're stupid not to want you. If it were up to me, we wouldn't have anything to do with them. They gave you up and left you for either dead or a very depressing life."

"Until I met you."


	33. Obnoxiously Adorable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The second year of Shiz is off to a bad start when Fiyero discovers something terrible.

Fiyero didn't like that Rod had talked to Elphaba about their relationship. He'd had no right! So what if Elphaba had no idea what part of Oz she was from? It didn't matter to him. They didn't need children. Rod did – not him. He had never much cared if he fathered children, unlike his brother who had a second one coming any day now.

Without telling his brother, he sent a few letters of inquiry out to people he had met with in his position as prince, though there weren't many, asking if they would put him in contact with a good midwife for his brother's wife. He didn't really expect to hear back, but he wanted to at least try for Elphaba's sake. It was very likely that they'd never find her family, but he didn't want to break that to her yet. It would be kinder to simply let the disappointment come slowly.

By the time they returned to Shiz for the coming year, he hadn't heard anything. She didn't ask, which was a blessing. Instead, she spent more time with him. He had a feeling it was to spite Rod more than anything else, but he certainly wouldn't complain. Soon they'd be back to Shiz and the world of curfews and dormitories, and time together would be harder to come upon.

She let him walk her to her room this time, and Galinda greeted them both with a hug. "I see you two survived the summer."

Elphaba quickly detached herself from Galinda. "Why wouldn't we?"

"Because you are insane and you don't know how good you've got it!"

"Gee, thanks, Galinda." Fiyero laughed. "But I think she knows."

"Well, aren't you humble?" Galinda teased. "I hope your summer was uneventful."

"Somewhat." Elphaba tossed her things in a corner and sat down on the bed. "It's good to see you again. Where's Ama Clutch?"

"Oh, off running some errand or other. I forgot a few things, so I sent her to fetch them for me."

Looking around the room, Fiyero couldn't imagine what the blonde might've forgotten. The room was practically full of her things. Elphaba's bags looked meager compared to Galinda's – though her bags were meager compared to anyone's. He'd offered to help her get more clothes, or to buy her a few things, but she'd refused (and he'd expected as much from her). "Well, I expect she'll be back soon. She won't be too pleased you have a male visitor when she's gone, will she?"

"You're harmless," Galinda waved.

"Excuse me?"

"Well, at least as far as she is concerned! She knows you and Elphie are a thing."

"She's supposed to be chaperoning her, too, though."

"Well, yes, but the way she sees it with Elphie is that what she doesn't know won't hurt her. She doesn't have parents to answer to on that end, just Madame Morrible." Galinda shrugged. "No offense, Elphie."

"None taken. And I told you to stop calling me that!"

Fiyero sat beside Elphaba on her bed. "That means I can stay, then?"

"I didn't say you could!" Elphaba snapped.

"I thought that was a given…" He pouted at her.

"Don't look at me like that." But she leaned into him and acquiesced. "I suppose you can stay for a few minutes."

"I knew I could persuade you." He wrapped an arm around her waist.

"Don't be so cocky," she muttered. But she didn't draw away.

"You two are just… I don't even know. You're going to make everyone hate you at the second year dance in the spring, that's for sure." Galinda rolled her eyes.

"I'm pretty sure they already hate us, Galinda." Elphaba replied. "Why would they hate us even more, though?"

"Because you're obnoxiously adorable."

Elphaba pulled away from Fiyero at that point. "You know what? I changed my mind. You can go." She pointed at the door. "I don't want to burden Galinda with how adorable we are." Her sarcasm dripped through each word.

Fiyero threw Galinda a glare, but obeyed, skulking toward the door.

"Wait, Fiyero." Elphaba dug through her bag and handed him an old notebook. "Could you please stop and bring this to Dr. Dillamond's office? He let me look over some of his old research over the summer, and I wanted to bring it back to him." She kissed his cheek.

"I'd do anything you asked." He winked at her and left, smiling to himself as he heard a thump on the door thinking Elphaba had probably thrown something at it.

He almost didn't stop at Dr. Dillamond's office. Class didn't start for a day or two, and he'd have time to drop that off later. Elphaba wouldn't like that; he could only imagine her frustration. So he dragged himself to the sciences building and to Dr. Dillamond's office. The door was locked. He knew the lab was right next door – he'd come to get Elphaba a few times to take her to dinner late on weeknights. That door was open, so he peaked his head in.

He let out a surprised shout at the somewhat gruesome image before him. Dr. Dillamond's lifeless body lay on the floor, surrounded by shattered glass. Congealed blood pooled around his neck. One hoof splayed out in a completely unnatural direction. For a moment, he could not move, only stare helplessly at the spectacle in front of him.

Fiyero stepped back into the hallway, gasping. He knew he had to report what he had seen to someone, but his immediate thought was to go back to Elphaba. She'd want to know. But reason dictated he should at least report it to someone in a position of authority. He scrambled down the hall, knocking on door after door until some professor he didn't know answered. "It's Dr. Dillamond. I think there's been an accident."

The middle-aged woman saw his face and ran down the hall, coming to a halt when she looked into Dr. Dillamond's lab. "Oh sweet Oz."

"I came to…" Fiyero remembered the notebook in his hands. Elphaba might want to keep it. "I came to see if there were any openings left in one of his classes."

She nodded, brows creasing with worry. "What's your name, young man?"

"Fiyero."

"I'll… I'll notify Madame Morrible. You should get out of here. I assume they'll close off the building. If she has any questions, I'll have her find you. Which dormitory do you reside in?"

"Three Queens." Except he wasn't going back there yet. Elphaba needed to hear this from him before she found out any other way. He was her mentor, and this would break her heart.

"All right, then. Go."

Fiyero ran out of the building and back to Crage Hall, breathless by the time he knocked on Galinda and Elphaba's door.

"Fiyero, I told you to leave… what is going on?" Elphaba looked at him, her stern expression falling when she saw the sadness etched in his eyes.

He thrust the notebook back at her and walked into the room, closing the door behind him. "Something has happened."

She looked down at the notebook. "I… what?" Elphaba placed it on her desk. "You're not making any sense, Fiyero. What in Oz is happening?"

He put a hand on her elbow and led her towards her bed, wanting to sit her down. By now Galinda was up, not speaking but hovering near them. "I did what you asked, Fae. I went to bring that back to Dr. Dillamond. He wasn't in his office. I noticed that his lab was open, though, so I checked to see if he was there." At this point, he reached out and cupped her chin. "He's dead, Fae. There was some sort of awful accident. Blood everywhere. I'm so sorry."

Elphaba blinked. "No."

"Yes, my love. I'm sorry. I… it was far too late by the time I got there."

"You're sure?" Galinda interjected.

He nodded. "I'm just glad Elphaba didn't go to return the books herself. It was an awful sight."

"As if I haven't seen worse!" Elphaba glared at him, getting up. "I need to see…"

He grabbed for her hand. "No, Fae, you don't. And it wouldn't matter. They're going to block access to the entire sciences building, probably. I reported it."

For a moment, she could only stare at him, and he thought perhaps they had frozen in time like that, the blank look on her face, her hand so fragile in his. But then a tear slipped down her cheek. "This is really happening?"

He stood and wiped the droplet away with the pad of his thumb. "Yes."

Her body fell into his, her small weight on his and he surrounded her in his embrace as she shook her head. "It's not fair. I thought… I thought things were finally good. I thought maybe the bad was over."

"It will be," he promised.

"No," she wiped at her face. "No, Yero. I don't think it's really ever over."


	34. Bad News

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bad news follows bad, and Ama Clutch doesn't return several hours after Fiyero tells the girls the news about Dr. Dillamond. Fiyero and the girls go looking for her.

It had been several hours when Galinda commented, "Ama Clutch never came back."

She looked up, having almost fallen asleep in Fiyero's arms. They sat on her bed quietly. Elphaba didn't remember if they'd spoken at all since he'd told her. His grip on her faltered a little as she shifted to look at her roommate. "That's a bit strange. Do you think she got held up by…?" But she didn't finish the question; they all knew what she'd meant to ask.

"Even if she had, she'd have rushed back here to make certain we were safe." Galinda got up from her spot on her own bed and moved to the window. Staring out, she shook her head. "Who do we call if an Ama disappears?"

"I'm sure she hasn't disappeared, Galinda." But even Fiyero's voice didn't sound so certain.

"I should go look for her." Galinda went to reach for her purse.

Elphaba shook her head. "Don't." It was irrational, but part of her worried that if Galinda left alone, she'd never come back, either. "Why don't we come with you? When we find her, we can all have dinner." It was getting late, after all.

"That's a nice idea, Elphaba." Fiyero kissed her forehead. "Are you sure you're up for going out?"

Elphaba was already climbing off the bed and dusting herself off. "Of course I am. I'm not a child," she huffed.

"Elphaba, your favorite professor just died."

"Then we should honor him and drink in his name." She didn't want to sit there dwelling any longer. Elphaba felt her fingers twitch, her legs ache with the need to move, to feel like she'd actually done something. "But first, we'll find Ama Clutch."

Galinda nodded, but she didn't focus her eyes on them. "Of course." She merely followed them out of the room as though in a trance.

"Galinda, where do you think she went? What was she going to get?" Fiyero asked kindly.

"Hair products."

Elphaba tried not to roll her eyes at that, but could tell by the look Fiyero gave her that she was unsuccessful. "And where might she have gone for those?"

"My favorite store near the café."

"Then let's head that direction. You lead, Galinda." She realized Fiyero was holding her hand and smiled at him for a moment. As Galinda got ahead of them, she murmured, "We'll find her, won't we?"

He squeezed her hand. "Of course."

They didn't even get all the way across campus before they saw a shadow wandering by Suicide Canal. Elphaba hesitated. "No one should be over there. Half of campus is blocked right now…"

Galinda immediately ran towards the figure in the distance and Elphaba dropped Fiyero's hand and ran after her. She heard Fiyero groan behind them as he jogged to catch up as well.

It was Ama Clutch. Her face was white, her clothing disheveled. "She didn't bear the syrup." She muttered.

"Ama Clutch, what does that mean?" Galinda touched the old woman and screamed as the woman collapsed in a faint.

In the infirmary, Elphaba and Fiyero waited for Galinda to emerge from the back room with Ama Clutch, but she came out alone. She shook her head. "They don't know what's wrong. Everything she says is jibberish."

"Oh, Galinda, I'm sorry."

"They think maybe she saw Dr. Dillamond's body at some point and went into shock. They're giving her drugs to see if they can calm her down. Maybe she'll wake up normal."

"Maybe she will." Fiyero slid a hand onto Elphaba's waist and put his other hand on Galinda's. "If you two need someone to stay tonight, I can. I'll sleep next door in her room – on the floor, of course. I don't want you two to feel unsafe or alone."

Elphaba glared at him. He knew she didn't feel unsafe without an Ama. Then again, he was doing this for Galinda, not for her, wasn't he? So she turned to Galinda. "Only if you want him to. I don't want you to feel like he has to stay. He can get irritating, believe me."

Fiyero laughed at that good-naturedly, which surprised Elphaba a bit. "I'm just trying to help."

"I appreciate that Fiyero. You are always welcome to stay. And if you'd rather stay in my dear roommate's bed, go ahead." Galinda gave them a knowing smile.

"Galinda! He will stay in the other room."

"Hmm, then maybe you should, too."

She was deflecting. Elphaba sighed. "Maybe I will." As she said it, she heard Fiyero's breathing change a little. They didn't get to stay overnight together at Shiz, and he complained often how empty his bed felt without her in it. He was probably eager just to have her beside him. And of course, they could be intimate…

He kissed down her nose and smiled at her. "It's past midnight. You've had a rough day. You need to rest, Fae."

She looked up at him and ran her hands along his forearm. Elphaba never felt trapped beneath him like she'd always worried she would. Instead, she felt protected, safe, sheltered. Her hands reached up and found the back of his head, bringing him in for another long, slow kiss. "I love you, you know."

"And I love you," he murmured. "You didn't have to do this tonight."

"I needed it," she admitted. "Being with you… it helps."

"Sex as a coping mechanism. That's new." Fiyero nudged her cheek with his nose gently. "I'm not complaining, of course."

"I should hope not!"

"Fae, you really have had a rough day. I realize you don't want to talk about it, but you lost someone important to you today and it hurts. You're strong, and I know that. But that doesn't mean you have to go through this alone."

"Honestly, I'm trying to focus all my energy on worrying about Galinda. What if Ama Clutch doesn't come out of it? It won't bother me much. I always found the woman to be more of a burden than anything else. But Galinda will be crushed."

"Have you ever realized that you are the most unselfish person? You can't worry about yourself for five minutes. Next thing we know, you'll be worrying about the fact that I found the body."

She cocked her head. "That's true. It must've been a trauma…"

"Fae, stop! I was kidding. It was a miserable sight, but I can handle it. I was worried about you." He collapsed back beside her and drew her close. "What happens to your sciences class? Don't you have it later this week?"

"I don't know, Fiyero. I'm sure Madame Morrible will let us know when she finds out." She buried her face in Fiyero's chest. "I love you. Let me sleep."

He kissed her hair. "Whatever you want."

Ama Clutch did not make any more sense the next day, or the day after that. They kept her in the infirmary. Galinda's family chose not to send another Ama, which left the girls mostly alone. Madame Morrible called a meeting with them on the third day.

"Girls, I'm so sorry for what you have been through these past days. Particularly you, Miss Galinda. I know you grew up with Ama Clutch and it must be terrible watching her deteriorate so."

"It has been somewhat difficult," Galinda said.

"What happens to us, though?" Elphaba got right to the point. "I mean, we can take care of ourselves…"

"Miss Elphaba, that won't be necessary." Madame Morrible cut her off. "We have made… arrangements. There is a young lady who has been living alone with her Nanny because she needs special accommodations. The woman has volunteered to take care of you as well. She and her ward will take Ama Clutch's room."

That didn't sound awful. If the young woman needed special help, the old woman would likely not pay too much attention to them. "I see."

"Miss Galinda, you and Miss Elphaba are welcome to visit with Ama Clutch any time." Madame Morrible rustled a few papers on her desk and indicated that they should leave.

"I suppose this isn't so terrible," Elphaba said as they walked back to the room.

Galinda only nodded, refusing to speak.

She wondered if there was more going on with Galinda than just the loss of Ama Clutch. The past days, the blonde hadn't been her usual peppy self. Elphaba didn't know what to say to reach out to her, or how to help. She decided it was probably best to leave her alone.


	35. Can't Take It Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fiyero may have pushed too far. Elphaba gets a new Ama and another roommate.

Elphaba refused to talk about Dr. Dillamond, and Fiyero wouldn't push her. He did worry that she was hiding her feelings, but he thought pressing the issue might only draw her into herself. Fiyero would wait her out. If she needed to talk, she knew he was there.

"Galinda is still acting strange." Elphaba muttered one afternoon.

He propped his head up on his hand. "Ama Clutch may not be dead, Elphaba, but her mind is. And she's mourning that."

She shook her head. "No, Fiyero. It's not just mourning. It's… it's almost like guilt. But I don't know why."

"Maybe because she sent Ama Clutch out to get things?"

"That'd be silly."

"Just like you blaming yourself and thinking you deserved what was done to you when you were on the streets?" Fiyero replied, giving her a look. "Sometimes guilt doesn't make sense, Fae."

She shifted a little, nudging the sheets over her body as though she was suddenly ashamed. Every time that came up, she hid herself in some way or another. It drove him crazy to think that she felt she needed to hide from him when he loved her so. He reached over and kissed her neck. Elphaba curled against him. "You don't make any sense, either," she decided.

He laughed. "How is that?"

"Loving me." She flushed. "I'm not saying you're too good for me. I know you hate that. But sometimes I think about how different we are at times. You're optimistic and sweet. I'm pessimistic and caustic. You're a prince. I lived on the streets for years. You love histories and literature. I love sciences and math."

"We both love learning. We both love each other. I like to think you balance me. We don't need to have everything in common."

She sighed and rolled over. "I love you."

"What is your new Ama like? And that girl, what's her name?"

Elphaba frowned. "Her name is Nessarose. The old woman – and when I say old, I mean ancient – insists that we all call her Nanny. Nessarose is very stern and serious. She practically lives at the Church of the Unnamed God. I get the feeling that Nanny isn't as, uh, fanatic about religion as Nessarose. But she takes good care of the girl. I think she knows I come over here, and sometimes I think she knows why. She gives me this look when I leave, cackles and tells me to 'be careful.'" She shrugged. "It doesn't bother me much. I wish we didn't need supervision at all."

"When we're out of here, we won't. You can spend every night in my room."

She looked at him. "Fiyero, that's not for more than another year."

"So? The idea of you in my bed every night gives me something to look forward to." He twirled her hair around his fingers. "Unless you're trying to tell me you don't want this to continue after Shiz."

"I just meant that it's quite some time from now." She wouldn't meet his eyes.

"I love you now and I'll love you then."

"Fiyero, we've both been involved with people before. Not everything lasts."

"We are different." He insisted.

"I don't think your brother will see it that way," she pointed out.

"My brother can mind his own business. Whatever happens between us happens, no matter how he feels about it. If I want to marry you, then I will."

She stiffened. "Marry?"

He'd gone too far. They both knew it. Fiyero bit his lip. "I just… I mean, eventually, maybe one day…" Now it was he who couldn't look at her. "Forget I said that."

"That's probably a good idea."

But he'd said it. There was no taking it back. He didn't want to take it back, of course. Yes, sooner or later, he did intend to marry her. He had to be married within two years, anyway, and he didn't think there'd ever be anyone like her. The way he felt about her could never be comparable to anything else. Maybe she wasn't the type to be a princess, but that didn't matter to him. He owed nothing to his people; he was not their king.

Yet Elphaba had clearly become uneasy at the mention of marriage. Was it only because it was too soon? Or was it because she didn't love him the way he loved her? He didn't think that could be, though. The way she looked at him, the passion in her gaze was equal to his. Perhaps she still had doubts that she was worth it. Maybe she could handle the idea of them dating, but marriage meant she really did have to be right for him, and she didn't have the confidence for that. That would change, wouldn't it?

Fiyero met Nessarose and Nanny later the next week when he came to get Elphaba for dinner one night. She tried to rush him out the door, but the old woman must've heard the door open, for she emerged from the room she shared with Nessarose. "Ah, the young man our Miss Elphaba is always visiting. I was starting to wonder if you were real."

Elphaba groaned. "We were just leaving, Nanny. I promise to be back by curfew."

"I'd like to meet this mysterious young man." A high-pitched voice came from the room Nanny had just exited.

Nanny shuffled back into the room and returned wheeling a chair. Fiyero had expected the chair, but not the girl. She had no arms. Elphaba had never told him what her disability was, only that she had one. She'd mentioned the wheelchair. He'd thought it meant her legs didn't work. It hadn't occurred to him that she couldn't walk because she struggled to balance without arms. She was a pretty girl, long brown hair with a stern jaw.

"You must be Prince Fiyero."

"Nessarose, I've told you. No one addresses him that way. He doesn't like it." Elphaba sighed.

"It's his title and I will use it."

"Maybe you two should spend more time here, where I can keep an eye on you. Or do you follow the rules and keep the door unlocked when she's visiting you?" Nanny folded her arms across her chest.

Fiyero gulped. They'd managed to get away with keeping the door locked. No one really noticed Elphaba coming and going from his room and they were both relatively quiet about things. Her noises were soft, and meant for his ears only. He enjoyed how private things were between them.

"We follow the rules, Nanny. Fiyero is very respectful." Elphaba stared straight at the old woman, not faltering in her lie. She slipped her hand into his. "That's part of why I care for him."

Galinda gave them both a knowing grin, but bit it back. "They usually stay over there, Nanny, because they don't want to bother me. I like being alone."

Fiyero decided that if one more outlandish lie was told, he'd crack. "Fae, we should go. I wouldn't want to keep you out late."

She looked at him, and he could see the thought of trouble sparkling in her eyes. "Yes, my sweet, that's a good idea."

"They're an interesting set of people," Fiyero commented as they left the building.

"I'll say!"

"You lied. So did Galinda."

"Oh, it was harmless. It was more for Nessarose's sake than for Nanny's, actually. I didn't want to hear a sermon about fornication."

"Really? She talks about those things?"

Elphaba crinkled her nose and mocked, "It's ungodly, Miss Elphaba. I do hope you know better than to let a man touch you in a sinful way."

Fiyero couldn't help but wonder if that comment had also brought to Elphaba's mind a different type of touch – one she'd allowed, but just barely. Did it make her feel even worse about where she'd been? Or was her aversion to religion able to shield her from that part of the guilt? "I suppose it depends on what god or gods you worship, if any."

"Her father was a minister."

"That explains a lot."

"The old woman made a comment once, though. I have a feeling the mother wasn't too, um, chaste. But the mother has been dead for years. Of course, I never knew mine, so… she still had it better than I did. Not that it takes much."


	36. Innocent Until Proven Guilty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elphaba confronts Galinda about her strange behavior.

They never spoke of it again, but what Fiyero had said about marrying her echoed in her mind day after day. He'd sounded sincere about it, and that worried her. She loved him dearly, but marriage was beyond anything she had considered for them. Marriage meant being a princess, being a wife, maybe one day a mother. She didn't know how to do any of those things, and no amount of teaching was going to help her get there.

But at the same time, it sounded tempting. He knew her, all of her. She'd never have to worry about telling anyone of her past, of teaching another man where not to touch her, of learning to trust someone else. She was safe with him, and she knew he'd never harm her. And sharing his bed for the rest of her life certainly wasn't anything worth complaining about. There had never been a time they'd been together that he hadn't brought her the most exquisite pleasure. She shuddered just thinking about that.

How could she be part of a family, though, if she didn't know her own? Fiyero hadn't told her he'd heard much of anything, and she was beginning of feel discouraged about finding anything out. It wasn't like there was even a solid starting point.

"Have you thought about what you might do when you found them?" Galinda asked her.

"I… I just want to know who they are. I don't need to meet them."

"You don't want to ask them why they gave you up, left you for dead? If I were you, I'd want answers. I'd demand them!"

"Galinda, what they put me through… maybe I'd have been better off dead." She hugged herself for a moment. "The streets weren't easy."

"I know that. You won't talk about it, but I realize it must've been awful. You must've been so hungry all the time, always on alert in case someone tried to steal the little you had. And it's your parents' fault you ended up there."

Was what Majik had done her parents' fault? Was it his? Was it hers? She wanted it to be simple. She wanted it to be his fault. "There's more than that, Galinda. I… I lived with older people, two men and a woman. One of the men… he did things to me, several things, and on multiple occasions. I don't want to blame that on people who merely gave birth to me and left me on the street. I want to blame him."

"Oh sweet Oz, Elphie, I never knew. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I didn't think it was relevant. It still isn't. But if I blame my parents for everything that happened to me after I was abandoned, I'd have to blame them for that, Galinda. And I won't."

"Does Fiyero know?"

"He's the only one who knows. Well, now you do. He's known for a long time. But that's not what we're talking about."

"I'm sorry." Galinda said softly. "I was so cruel to you in the beginning. I barely spoke to you. I thought… I didn't want to damage my reputation by being friends with you. I had no idea you'd been through so much."

"Galinda, really, stop that. You've changed. So have I."

"No. I said and did a lot of cruel things when I first got here, Elphie. And I…" Tears welled in her eyes. She grabbed a kerchief and dabbed at them.

She couldn't sit silently anymore. "Galinda, what's going on?" Elphaba demanded. "Why… why are you so upset lately? You're not acting the same, and I know it's more than just losing your Ama." At least the subject would have changed from her.

"It is about my Ama, but… oh, Elphie, I'm a terrible person!" She sobbed.

Elphaba leapt off her bed and crouched next to her friend. "Galinda, don't say such things."

"I am. It's my fault!"

"What is?"

"Ama Clutch. When we first got here, I didn't want to be stuck in a room with a bunch of girls, so I made up a story. I told Madame Morrible that Ama Clutch could not handle that because she had episodes… episodes like the one she's been having for the past month. But it wasn't true. And then… now, now it is! I think I did it to her. I think I wished it upon her. Either it's karma or my sorcery was more powerful than I expected."

Elphaba stared at her for a moment, floored. This is what had been upsetting her so? "Galinda, there's no way you could do that. Doesn't everything require a spell?"

"Well, yes."

"And you never chanted one, did you?"

"Not exactly. But…"

"No. It's a terrible coincidence."

"Then why?"

"Because maybe she saw Dr. Dillamond's body. Maybe she fell at hit her head."

"I need to tell her I'm sorry, Elphie."

"You haven't gone to see her?"

"I couldn't. I felt awful."

"Then let's go now. I'll go with you. And you don't have to apologize for something you haven't done. But if it makes you feel better, Galinda, do what you need to." Elphaba got up and threw Galinda's purse towards her. She wasn't good at talking, but dragging Galinda to Ama Clutch was something she could do.

The blonde sniffled, but grabbed her bag. "That's a good idea."

They opened the door and Fiyero stood there, hand poised to knock. "Fae, I was just about to come see you…"

"We have to go." Elphaba pulled Galinda out the door.

"What's going on?" He followed.

"We need to see Ama Clutch."

"It's okay, Elphie. You can tell him."

As they walked, Elphaba reiterated in a low voice what Galinda had told her. Galinda ambled behind them slowly, as though she didn't want to go anymore. "So she thinks she somehow caused all this?"

Elphaba nodded. "It's," she glanced back at Galinda, "ridiculous, I know. But this might help her feel better."

"I can hear you, Elphie!" Galinda snapped.

"I'm sorry, Galinda."

They were all out of breath by the time they got to the infirmary. Elphaba didn't realize she'd been moving quite so fast. The urgency with which she'd moved suddenly faded, and she breathed normally again. The three of them went back to see Ama Clutch.

Elphaba stayed silent, waiting for Galinda to speak, but it was the woman who spoke first. "Nobles stranded ranging."

This random strand of words brought Galinda to tears. "Oh, Ama Clutch…"

Elphaba nudged her. "It'll be all right, Galinda. You can do this."

"I…"

Fiyero placed a hand on Elphaba's shoulder. "Should we leave her alone?" He murmured.

"Only if she asks." She turned back to her roommate. "Go ahead."

Galinda closed her eyes for a moment. "Ama Clutch, I'm sorry. What I did, it was wrong. I lied about you, and even if it didn't cause this, it was a terrible thing to do. Please forgive me."

"Child…" The woman rasped.

"Yes?" Galinda's eyes looked hopeful, and Elphaba almost grabbed her. It was probably just another random mumbling.

"The blood… the Goat… the blood. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock." At that, Ama Clutch sat straight up, eyes wide. "Blood. Tick. Tock."

"What in Oz?" Fiyero moved forward, brows furrowed.

A hand grabbed at Galinda's wrist, squeezing so tight Galinda squealed. "Tick. Tock."

Fiyero pushed Elphaba towards the door and pried Ama Clutch's hand from Galinda. "Let's go. Now." He ushered them both out. "That wasn't helpful at all, huh?" He asked as they began to walk back.

But Elphaba was shaken, too. "Actually, Fiyero, it was everything. I know what happened to Dr. Dillamond."


	37. To The City

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elphaba, Galinda and Fiyero head to the City.

"Just because a deranged woman mentioned blood, a Goat and made ticking noises, you think Madame Morrible murdered Dr. Dillamond? Do you understand that nothing she has said in the past month has made any sense? This is probably the same!" Fiyero shook his head. Elphaba's theory was crazy, and he didn't want her trying to take it further. Going up against Madame Morrible wouldn't be good for either of them, especially since her scholarship could be revoked at any time. "Think about this a little more!"

"I knew something was wrong the moment you told me, Fiyero. He was too careful in that lab to accidentally slit his own throat. But I couldn't believe – I didn't want to believe – that anyone would do such a thing here. But now… it makes sense. Her little pet, that stupid TikTok thing. It had to be."

"Ama Clutch was rambling, Fae. Those two things probably had nothing to do with each other."

"Do you remember the poetry reading? Morrible hates Animals!" Elphaba's fists were clenched, and there was fire in her eyes when she looked at him. "He always told me he thought she had it out for him, but I always thought he meant his job, not his life."

"Fine. Let's pretend for just a moment that you're right. What can you do? You have no proof. And Ama Clutch is certainly not a great witness." He pointed out.

"Tell the Wizard. We can go to the City, tell him of our suspicions. He'd never let this stand."

Fiyero sighed. Perhaps, in this one thing, she was more optimistic than he. Because he severely doubted the Wizard would take the word of one random green girl. "Fae, that's insane."

"It's not! The fall holidays start on Monday. We don't have classes. We can go!"

"Elphie, please." Galinda finally spoke up. "We couldn't do that."

"Why not? You've always said you wanted to see the City. I have a little money. I know you have some, and Fiyero, well, you're you." Elphaba moved towards her closet. "Go get packed, Fiyero. And meet us back here."

"Slow down!" He grabbed her. "You can't do this."

She stared back at him. "I can and I will. You don't have to come. But I'm going."

Galinda looked to him as she chewed her lip in silent question.

"I'm not letting you go alone," Fiyero muttered.

"Oh? Why? I can't take care of myself in the City? Have you forgotten I did that for years?" Elphaba demanded, her hands on her hips. "You can come, but I don't want you trying to protect me."

"I'm the one who'll need protecting from you," he replied.

"You're damned right!"

Galinda giggled a little at that. "You two are going at it like my parents."

Elphaba relaxed for a moment. "Oz help us all." Then she went back to her bag. "But I'm going. And I'd appreciate it if I wasn't alone."

"I'll be right back," Fiyero decided. "Don't leave without me."

He ran to Three Queens, shoving clothes into a pack without even looking at them. Elphaba was on a tear, and he realized nothing would stop her. He understood that. But he needed to be with her should anything go wrong.

By the time he returned to Crage, Galinda had started packing, albeit reluctantly. "I'm not sharing a room with you two." She commented. "I do not need to see either of you naked."

"We have common decency, you know. And we can keep our hands to ourselves." Fiyero told her. "You think that's all we do?"

"Speak for yourself," Elphaba grinned.

"Elphie!"

"I was kidding."

"Still, I think I'll have my own room."

They took a train towards the City, and Elphaba fell asleep on his shoulder early in the evening. All the energy she'd spent arguing and jumping to conclusions had exhausted her. He wasn't sure he was exactly pleased with going to the City. Her anger might get her in trouble with the Wizard, and he wasn't sure she understood that. He didn't think the Wizard would even bother to see her, either. The man had never bothered to see him when he'd been in the City, though he'd tried one day. He certainly wouldn't have time for her, though Fiyero intended to use his name and try and help get her in.

It took two days in crowded passenger compartments to reach the City. They changed in the public restroom and took turns sleeping. Elphaba didn't speak much. At least she seemed to know to keep her opinions to herself in this public place.

By the time they reached the City, it was late. He got them a hotel room, and Galinda insisted on getting a small, cheaper room to herself. Elphaba dropped her clothes the moment she got in the room and laid out on the bed, smiling at him. He knew she didn't want to talk about this, so he kissed her instead. They made love for hours until she drifted into sleep beside him.

He was wide awake, though. Worry clouded his thoughts, and he struggled to fall into sleep. When he finally did, he was up in fits every hour or so, once or twice even waking her.

They went to the palace first thing the next morning, but were told the Wizard wouldn't be available for at least two days. He watched Elphaba visibly deflate at the news. She turned to him, shaking her head. "Maybe you were right."

"We'll wait." He told her. Though he didn't want to be there, he knew putting it off would only make her obsession worse. "Galinda probably wants to explore the City anyway."

"I do! Elphie, come with me."

"I don't need to explore. I know this place." Her gaze turned dark.

"Not the nicer part," Fiyero urged gently. "We could go shopping, grab something to eat."

Elphaba pulled him close. "Or we could just spend the day at the hotel doing whatever we want." She looked up at him.

Galinda pouted. "I won't go alone. Please, Elphie, just one day."

She loosened her grip on him. "I suppose. At least until lunch…"

He took her hand. "Come. I'll find us somewhere to eat breakfast." They hadn't eaten at the hotel. Elphaba had been in too much of a rush.

"Do you think he'll even see us?" Galinda asked as they ate. "It didn't exactly sound as though he had a lot of time."

"We'll wait him out." Elphaba decided.

"We can't stay here forever."

"We can stay a bit longer, though. We don't need to be back at Shiz for more than a week. It's fine." Elphaba folded her arms across her chest.

"Fae, let's give it a few days. We'll revisit the subject if he won't see you when you go back in two days. I think that's fair." He put a hand over hers.

She sighed. "Fine."

"Good plan, Fiyero." Galinda gave him a grateful look. As they walked out of the restaurant, Galinda pulled him aside. "She's… can you calm her down?"

"I've tried."

"I worry she'll walk in there like she owns the place and she'll anger the Wizard, Fiyero! That's assuming we even get to see him. And if we don't, I have a bad feeling she'll do something stupid."

"We'll do our best, Galinda."

"I love her, too, you know."

"I realize that."

Elphaba turned back to them. "What are you two conspiring about?"

"Nothing!" They both smiled at her.

Elphaba rolled her eyes. "Fine. Let's just go, already."

But before they moved, a voice came out of the shadows. "Elphaba, I've been wondering if we'd ever see you again."

All of them froze.


	38. Need to Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elphaba has an interaction with her rapist and struggles with the aftermath.

She knew that voice. It had been in her nightmares – though she'd never told Fiyero that. Her heart thudded so hard she could feel it reverberating through her body. After a moment, she turned slowly. It felt like the minor movement took every muscle she had. Out of the corner of her eye, she watched Fiyero's hand reach out to her, felt herself step away from his grasp.

"I thought," Majik sneered, "that you had gone out early to try to earn some money. But you never came back. We wondered if you'd been caught, maybe killed. But this…" He gestured to her, "I did not expect. You look healthy, well fed. I thought, when I heard the talk of a green girl in the City, that it couldn't be true."

Elphaba swallowed a lump in her throat so large she thought she would choke. Before she could speak, Fiyero moved in front of her. "Leave us or I'll have you arrested. I'm a prince, and…"

Still focused on Elphaba, Majik continued. "So this is why you left us? To become some prince's harlot?" Majik grinned and acknowledged Fiyero. "Tell me, Prince, have you ever settled yourself between those sweet little cheeks of hers? I can't blame you for wanting her all to yourself…"

Galinda gasped.

Elphaba, gagging, caught Fiyero by the wrist before he moved again. "Fiyero…"

The look in her eyes must've softened him, because immediately he backed down. "I won't listen to someone talk to you that way," he whispered.

"I know." Steeling herself, she turned back to Majik. "You have no right to me. You don't own me; you never did." She felt her legs shaking beneath her. "But I want to know something."

"Elphaba," Fiyero murmured in her ear. "Now isn't the time."

"No!" She pushed him away, not even looking at him. "It is. I need to know. Where did you find me? What was left with me? Do you know who my parents were? Where they came from?"

"All I know is what I told you." He insisted. "Although perhaps my memory could be jogged with some coin from your benefactor here."

Fiyero reached for his pocket but she stopped him. "I have my own, thank you." She took the little spending money she had left and shoved it into Majik's hand, recoiling at the contact. "Tell me."

"He treats you well, I see."

"She's not my whore!" Fiyero snapped. "I would never treat her the way you did."

"Fiyero, please." Elphaba glared at him.

"There was a bottle. It was green, labeled ELIXIR." Majik shrugged. "It was in the bassinet with you. We sold it."

"That's all?" That didn't sound like it would help her.

"There might be more." He held out his hand.

This time Fiyero put the money in Majik's hand. "Tell her everything this time, or I'll make certain you get thrown in Southstairs."

"Munchkinland. I don't know where." Majik made to move away, but Fiyero grabbed him and slugged him hard in the face.

"Fiyero!"

He didn't seem bothered by it. "I had to."

Majik wiped blood from his nose with his sleeve. "I hope you enjoy this luxurious life you left us for. You abandoned the people who you. You could've died on that street…"

"I'd rather have been dead!" She snapped.

"That can be arranged." Majik grinned.

"If you so much as lay a hand on her, you will be dead within a minute." Fiyero growled.

"Maybe," Galinda squeaked, "we should go." She tugged at Elphaba's sleeve. "Please, Elphie, for all of our sakes."

She looked at her roommate, the horrified look on her face. And at Fiyero, with violence etched in his features. She'd gotten all the information she could. And the longer she stood there, the more she remembered… the smell, the way his breath felt as… "Good idea."

Fiyero kept his gaze on Majik until they turned the corner. Immediately, his hands were on her. "Fae, are you…?"

She yanked herself away. "Don't! Don't touch me."

"Fae…"

"I don't want you to touch me when I can still hear his voice in my head." She murmured. "Please, Fiyero." Suddenly, she fell against the wall of a nearby building, trembling. "I never thought I'd see him again."

He hovered anxiously. "I know. Let's go back to the room. You need to sit down."

She nodded and followed him and Galinda back to the hotel. Galinda looked at her before retreating to her own room. "I'll come talk to you later?"

As the door shut behind her, Elphaba said, "Yes." She sat down blankly on the bed.

Fiyero would not sit. "What can I do?"

"You don't need to do anything."

"Elphaba, I hadn't even thought of that. We shouldn't have come out here. We should leave, go back to Shiz."

"No! Fiyero, I never wanted to see that man again, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't be here. Sweet Oz, how did he find me?" She hugged herself for a moment. "And how did I not even think about the fact that he might?"

"Because you were worried about other things. No one should have to worry about that, Fae. I can still call someone, see if they can find him, have him sent away…"

"No, Fiyero. That would mean telling someone else." She imagined telling her story to the Gale Force, the very people she'd been afraid of once. Would they believe her? Would they even care? She'd stolen from people; she could be arrested, too.

"You wouldn't have to. I could make something up…"

"I won't!" She realized she was shouting and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

She could swear the minor contact of giving him money was spreading through her skin, and she jumped up and ran for her oils. "I need… I need to…clean…"

"I can leave."

"No, help me." She held the bottle out to him. "Make me forget, Fiyero. Please."

Fiyero stared at the bottle for a moment. "Is that what you want?"

Elphaba nodded slowly, watching as he uncorked the small bottle and put oil in his hands. Eyes on his, she dropped her dress and stepped out of her undergarments. "The only touch I want to remember is yours."

He took her hand in his first, circling her palm and brushing his fingers along her knuckles. They continued to hold eye contact as his hand moved up her arm, smoothing the oil along her skin. Fiyero brought his hand to her other hand and repeated his motions. Before continuing, he asked, "You're sure?"

She kissed his lips gently. "Please."

He massaged the oil into her shoulders, then trailed his hands down along her collarbone, tracing the lines there. Carefully, he cupped her breasts in his hand and she leaned towards him. Fiyero pressed his mouth against her ear. "I love you. You know that, right?"

Elphaba unbuttoned his shirt and looked at him. "I do know. I love you, too."

His fingers traced her abdomen, drawing her waist closer as he did. "You're beautiful."

A familiar flush rose to her cheeks. "Fiyero…"

"You are." He insisted, hands moving lower. "You are everything to me, and nothing is going to change that. You need to understand that, Fae."

She moaned a little. "I do, Fiyero. You saved me." Her hands went to the clasp of his pants, tugging them down.

"I didn't, though. You saved yourself. I gave you the tools."

She didn't say anything but brought him to the bed. He loved her. Over and over again, he loved her.


	39. All the Things He Said

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elphaba recalls the things Majik said, and Fiyero talks her down.

Fiyero still wanted to kill the man who'd hurt her. He'd memorized his face in case he ever saw him again, though for Elphaba's sake, he hoped he never did. He was grateful when she fell asleep – he'd worried she'd be too upset to rest. Kissing her forehead, he got up. It was after lunch, and though Elphaba had never fully developed the appetite of a normal person, he was hungry.

He went down to the hotel dining room and saw Galinda sitting alone at a table. Fiyero decided to join her. "Are you all right?"

Galinda nodded. "Is she?"

"She will be. She's asleep."

"Elphaba told me, you know, what happened to her in the City, when she was on the streets. Was that man, was he the one who…?"

"I gathered that, yes." Fiyero sighed. "When did she tell you?"

"Right before all of this happened with the trip to the City. I didn't know. She told you, obviously. How did we not think that this could happen?"

"I wondered the same thing. Look, Galinda, she went through more than anyone should ever have to. But you know she hates it when we treat her differently. If and when she comes down here, we need to remember that. She's strong. If she needs us, she'll let us know." Fiyero reached for a roll of bread. "And she'll probably hurt us if she finds out we spoke about her at all."

"She's lucky, you know. I mean, not in some ways, clearly, but with you. What made you do what you did? She was just some random girl."

"I knew there was more than that, even then. It didn't take much to realize how intelligent she was, how well we interacted. I won't deny that a part of me was interested in her, though I told myself that wasn't my reason for doing it." He admitted. "I did want to help her. But as time went on, I knew it had been there all along, and I knew I loved her."

Galinda smiled. "You're sweet."

"I try." He laughed. "She deserves much more than I can give her. I wish… I honestly hoped that nothing more would happen. Seeing that man again was something I would've done anything to protect her from."

"Don't tell her that." Galinda gestured and Fiyero looked over to see Elphaba walking towards them. They both waved at her, smiling. As Elphaba sat down beside Fiyero, Galinda asked. "How are you feeling, Elphie?"

Sliding a hand into Fiyero's, Elphaba smiled at her friend. "I'm fine, thank you."

"I was thinking maybe we'd stay in for the rest of the day." Fiyero said.

"That sounds like a great idea," Galinda opined. "I do have a paper I need to work on, anyway."

"You two don't need to protect me. If I don't want to go out, I'll say so."

"I wasn't protecting you," Fiyero told her. "If we run into anyone from your past, Fae, I might seriously injure someone. I don't feel like getting arrested. I'm protecting myself!"

Elphaba rolled her eyes. "If you say so."

He kissed her hand. "I do."

Galinda made a choking sound. "Stop being so damned adorable."

They were trying to act normal, but he saw the doubt in Elphaba's eyes. Fiyero brushed his fingers over hers. "Anyway, I thought staying in was a good idea. We can revisit our plans tomorrow. What do you think?"

"I think that's fine."

"Good. Why don't you help me with my paper?" Galinda asked.

"Sure."

So Fiyero sat by himself in the room for a while as the two girls chattered in Galinda's room. He somehow doubted they were actually working on a paper, but he didn't mind. If it kept Elphaba feeling happy and normal, it was perfectly fine with him.

She came back in after they ate dinner together. Elphaba curled up beside him in her only nightgown. "So tomorrow maybe we should go back to the palace."

"Why? The guard said it would be at least two days. Stay in with me again."

"That does sound very… tempting." She kissed him.

"Fae," he said gently, "you're trying to make this better with sex. You realize eventually you're going to have to face what happened on that street today, right?"

She sighed. "I know, I know." Elphaba rested her head on his chest. "What if I don't want to face it, though?"

"I won't force you to. You should know that by now. But I do worry that if you try to evade it forever, it'll make it worse when it does fall apart."

"I realize that."

"You can talk to me about it, Elphaba. There's nothing you can say that would make me love you any less than I do now." He played with her fingers.

"What he said, about me leaving to be your whore…"

"You're not."

"But part of me thought that, didn't I? Remember? I would've let you."

"Because he had trained you to think that you were only good for sex. Not because that's who you are. You really thought you were going to be used that way?"

"I had no idea! I barely knew you. I knew one person using me was better than him sending me to the streets to sell myself. I didn't really care what you did to me, Fiyero. I just wanted to get away from whatever awaited me with them." She nuzzled against him.

"You're not my whore. You never were, and never will be. Even when we weren't serious, I never saw you that way. I love you. And whether you like hearing it or not, one day I'm hoping you'll be my wife, Fae. That's a far cry from being a whore."

She was silent, her fingers clutching his tightly.

"I don't care what he said about you. That doesn't matter to me at all. It doesn't matter what you did before me, not to me. I would never judge you. You realize that, right?"

"I know. But, Fiyero, I left them for… for what? I didn't realize I would go to Shiz, that I'd end up with you like this. I had no idea what to expect. I just picked up and went."

"You were desperate. And I like to think that you could read people well enough to know that I wouldn't hurt you."

"I thought so, but at the same time I considered that I might be stupid for thinking such a thing. I hadn't exactly encountered a lot of trustworthy people, Yero my hero."

"Well, you have me."

"I do." Her smile was genuine. "What about what he said? About Munchkinland."

"We can look into it." But he didn't know what help dredging up her past would be. "If you want, we could even go out there at some point."

"I think I've had enough traveling for quite some time."

"I can't blame you."

"What he said to you, about… about what he did to me…"

"Fae, don't…"

"You shouldn't have had to hear that."

"Elphaba, I knew."

"You didn't need that in your head."

"I knew, Fae. And you shouldn't have had to hear that, to relive it. There's nothing in my head like that. The only thing in my head about him is rage. When it comes to you, every image in my mind is, well, pleasant, to say the least."

She giggled. "Why do I have the feeling the images in your mind are mostly of me naked?"

"Some of them." He kissed her temple. "Not all. Some of them are things I imagine in the future, some of them are just moments we've had. Don't you have that?"

"Yes. Sometimes I think about your face when you first looked at me, the genuine kindness I found there. And other times, yes, maybe I think of you naked, too."

He laughed at that, and ran his fingers through her hair. "You're safe here with me. I will never see you as anything but beautiful."

 


	40. Whom You Serve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group is finally able to meet with the Wizard.

Despite going back several days in a row, the Wizard didn't see them until the fifth day. Elphaba knew Fiyero and Galinda wanted to go home, but she was determined to get what she came there for. And so they stood nervously in the foyer of the palace, waiting to be led to another room.

"Elphie, what exactly do you intend to tell him?"

"That perhaps the climate at Shiz is dangerous. That maybe he should look into it."

"And what if he doesn't care? Or if he doesn't believe you?"

"He will."

"Elphie…"

"He has to."

Fiyero shook his head. "Elphaba, you need to be careful. He is the most powerful man in Oz. If you anger him, I might not be able to fix it."

She glared at him. "I don't need you to fix things for me!"

"I didn't mean it that way. I just… I worry."

"I've noticed."

There were no more words, though, for they were brought into a large meeting room. At the front of the room was a raised platform with some sort of strange device on it. It was a metallic-looking large mask. The face on it looked angry, furrowed eyebrows and a frown. There was wind coming from somewhere in the room and Elphaba, always on alert about the weather, immediately began looking around for the open window.

Galinda tapped on her shoulder and pointed above them. There was a large cloud floating the room. It must've been magicked to be there. Elphaba was suddenly uneasy about all of this, feeling the confidence drain out of her. Fiyero gazed over their heads, as well, with hesitation.

"I hear you three have been pestering my staff constantly to get an audience with me."

She looked around, but there was no person in the room, only the mask, and it was moving. Was this how he spoke? Was he even real? The voice from the masked boomed through the room as though amplified dozens of times. When Galinda nudged her, she spoke up, "Yes, your Ozness. We… there have been some strange happenings at Shiz we thought it might be important that you know of them."

"What makes you think I do not already know?"

"I…" Elphaba froze.

"Pardon my friend," Galinda spoke up, poised as always. "I am Galinda Upland, your Ozness. And this is Prince Fiyero of the Arjikis. And my friend, Elphaba…" Galinda gave her a look. She had no surname, no title. "Anyway, there was a tragic accident involving one of our professors."

"It wasn't an accident!" Elphaba snapped. "He was murdered."

"Oh? By whom?"

"Well…" Elphaba looked at her friends with uncertainty. "I think it was orchestrated by our headmistress."

"Elphaba!" Galinda grabbed her. "Your Ozness, I'm sorry. She's given to flights of fancy."

Shaking her head, she said, "I am not!"

"Ladies, lades, please. I think you have sorely misjudged me. I am well aware of the goings on at Shiz. And perhaps you two should be more conscious of whom you serve."

She stared ahead, wide-eyed. "What does that mean?"

"You know. Be careful whom you serve."

"Sir, if you'll listen…"

"No, no. I think it's best that you go back to Shiz. Please, though, come see me when you have graduated. I've heard about you two ladies. It wouldn't surprise me if we could find a place for you here among my council."

"Really?" Galinda asked.

"But remember whom you serve."

There were Gale Force guards ushering them out. She hadn't even given her reasons, or what she wanted to be done. And now they had been dismissed.

Fiyero reached for her and drew her close. "Fae, let's go."

She hadn't realized how long she'd been standing still in the foyer. "Right."

Galinda looked at them both nervously as they made their way back to the hotel. "What did he mean?" She asked. "Be careful who we serve?"

"Madame Morrible." Elphaba muttered. "She serves him. And so do we, apparently."

"Fae, he all but offered you a job after Shiz…" Fiyero stopped her. "Do you realize that?"

"I don't want to work here, though. I want…" She wanted to be with him. They'd never exactly talked about what would happen, though he'd mentioned marriage as recently as that week. But it hadn't occurred to her that she wanted it, too.

He pressed his lips together, a small smile poking at the corners of his mouth. "You want what? To be with me?"

"I didn't say that."

"Oh, but you were going to."

"That is beside the point! That man… if Morrible works for him, then Dr. Dillamond's death was by his design." But why? What could Dr. Dillamond have possibly done to make the Wizard so angry? And why couldn't he just have him arrested? The Wizard had almost infinite power.

"He never exactly said that."

"Oh, but he implied it." She folded her arms across her chest. "I've seen the worst parts of Oz, or I thought I had. But this is beyond what I imagined. I knew that Oz wasn't perfect, and that the power on the throne wasn't exactly the most honest, but he had Dr. Dillamond killed!"

"Elphaba!" Fiyero grabbed her arm. "Not out here! Do you understand anyone could hear us?"

Her heart pounded in her chest. "Right." She kept her eyes trained on the ground as they made their way back. Elphaba had never been under the same delusion that most of Oz was, that the Wizard was wonderful. But she had thought at least he was competent.

They all went to her and Fiyero's room. Before she could even speak, Fiyero stopped her. "Fae, this has been a crazy week for you. You need to think before you do anything."

"That's all I've been doing for days, Fiyero! I thought I'd sorted things out. I hoped that we could come here, tell the Wizard what was happening and it would be dealt with. Then I would go back to Shiz, maybe we could go to Munchkinland over the summer and search out my family. And after that…" She had imagined returning to Kiamo Ko, sharing a bed with Fiyero, the two of them living happily and fine, maybe eventually marrying.

He wrapped her in his arms. "I know. I had the same hope."

"Sweet Oz, the two of you just need to get married already." Galinda exclaimed.

"No!" Elphaba gave her roommate a look. She still had qualms with the idea of being his princess, though she loved him and would gladly spend the rest of her life with him. "And that's not what we're talking about here." She extricated herself from Fiyero's arms. "I think there's a problem in Oz, and that problem starts with the man in power. Something needs to be done."

"What can we do? Elphie, we're just college students."

"I don't know!"

"Then relax for a minute and sit down." Fiyero urged. "I'm not happy about it either. But we live in this world, and we can only change so much of it. In less than two years, we'll be done with Shiz. We can go home and never have to deal with this again."

"And let him just keep killing innocent people and Animals?"

"For once, can't you be selfish? Stop worrying about everyone else!"

"I can't do that! Fiyero, I love you. But this is not the Oz I want to live in. When he's gone, I can rest. But until then…"

"And how do you propose we do that?"

"We kill him."


	41. Day to Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fiyero struggles to calm Elphaba down. They return to Shiz and, eventually, to Kiamo Ko.

Fiyero sat down on the bed. "Elphaba, now you're being utterly ridiculous. You can't kill the most powerful man in Oz. We don't even know what he actually looks like behind that stupid contraption. And even if we did, you'd be put to death for treason." What had gotten into her? He knew she'd cared deeply about Dr. Dillamond, but this was getting out of control quickly.

"At least the rest of Oz would be safe from him."

"Elphie! You don't know what you're saying." Galinda grabbed her friend's arm. "I will not listen to you talk this way. Think about this reasonably. Yes, there are some problems here. But sacrificing yourself and killing someone is not the way to handle them." The blonde was shaking.

"And I won't let the love of my life risk everything for something like that. There has to be a better way. Maybe it's not as bad as you think." He needed to slow her down. Her outburst scared him, and he was starting to understand that he could lose her in more ways than one.

"What do you suggest we do, then?"

"Wait it out. I know that doesn't sound easy, but my brother has had to do something similar before. If he is the enemy, Fae, you need to know more about him before you make any kind of move. And you need to place yourself somewhere with power, somewhere strong." Preferably by his side.

"We'll make it better, Elphie, but murder is not the way." Galinda insisted.

"Galinda, he'd probably never even met Dr. Dillamond and he had him murdered. As far as he's concerned, that is the way."

"It's Glinda," she said softly. "Like Dr. Dillamond used to say – to honor him."

"The right way to honor him would be to make sure this doesn't happen again."

"We will, in time." Fiyero assured her. "But today, we need to pack and go back to Shiz."

"Back under Madame Morrible…"

"Yes, for the moment. Elphaba, you can do this. I know you're strong enough." He got back up and took both her hands in his own. "And if you want to fight when we've graduated, we can find a way."

He tried so hard to be the voice of reason, though he knew that what was between them had nothing to do with reason. Elphaba was fiery, quick to anger and quick to passion. Most of the time, he loved that about her. In that moment, it scared him. Fiyero couldn't read her, couldn't tell if the look in her eyes meant she was listening or meant she'd tuned them out entirely.

"Elphie, let's just go home," Glinda pleaded. "I will stand with you in this, but not now and not here. You're my best friend in the world, and I won't watch you self destruct."

Elphaba's gaze moved between the two of them for a moment before settling on her hands, still clasped tightly in Fiyero's. "I'll get my things together."

A sigh of relief so heavy it almost took the wind out of him came from his mouth. "Thank Oz. I love you." He hugged her close. "We'll work this out. I promise you."

Glinda threw her arms around both of them. "This has been one crazy little visit."

"It has. Let's go home." Elphaba looked at both of them, though she did not smile.

"Nanny is going to be so angry. I mean, technically when the fall holidays began she wasn't responsible for us, but we did leave without telling her much." Glinda bit her lip. "I mean, I said we were headed to the City for a few days… we've been gone the entire duration of the holidays."

"She'll live. I'm sure she'll barely notice. Nessa probably had her at church the entire time, anyway." Elphaba commented.

And so they headed back. Fiyero kept Elphaba close to him for every part of the journey, and she didn't seem to mind. Of course, that may have been more because they were in crowded quarters in a public train car anyway. She sent him away immediately when they arrived at Shiz, saying she was in for it with Nanny and that it would only be worse if she found out Fiyero had been with them on the entire journey. Sure, the woman had her suspicions about them, but she didn't know for sure.

And so he returned to the life of classes and only getting to see her within the time constraints of their curfew. It was strange to realize that even though they had been through insanity and their entire worldview had changed, their daily life really hadn't. It wasn't long before they found themselves headed back to Kiamo Ko for the holidays.

The look Rod gave them when he entered holding hands with Elphaba told Fiyero he hadn't made any strides in accepting their relationship. But that wasn't Rod's immediate concern. "You went to see the Wizard?"

"How did you know that?" Fiyero asked, eyeing Elphaba. She had twitched slightly at the question, but her face was composed.

"I'm the king, Fiyero. My brother goes to see the Wizard and I know. I would've appreciated it, however, if my brother had told me himself! What in Oz did you feel you needed to go talk to the Wizard about? Surely it could've gone through me."

"If you'll pardon me, your Highness, but it wasn't Fiyero who wanted to see the Wizard." Elphaba said. "I wanted to. He came along because he didn't want me going alone. Don't be angry with him."

"What business would you possibly have with the Wizard?"

"I'll have you know he all but offered her a job when she gets out of Shiz." Fiyero said – a job he knew Elphaba would never take, but a job nonetheless.

Rod looked a little impressed at that, though he still looked at Elphaba condescendingly. "Really? Why?"

"Because she has the highest marks in our class and apparently the headmistress has told the Wizard about her." _So maybe you ought to respect her_ , he wanted to add.

"So be it." Rod sighed. "You two may go unpack."

As Fiyero unpacked, though, Rod entered. "So that's still happening, is it?"

"What?"

"You and her."

"Yes. I don't see that changing any time soon." Fiyero replied simply. "I love her, Rod."

"Are you crazy? She's nobody. I warned you. I let this go when it first started, because I had hoped it wasn't going to last. I'm starting to realize this is more serious than I thought it was. You need to consider your position here, Fiyero."

"I have considered it. You need to consider that I love her!"

"You're intrigued. She's different. That's all this is."

"It's more than that. I've known her for two years now, Rod. If it were just that, I think I'd be over it. I'm tired of the way you treat her, and the way you talk about her. She's smarter than I am, and she's incredible. Elphaba is not a second-class citizen. She's the love of my life and I won't listen to you demean her any further!"

"Love of your life?" Rod repeated, laughing.

"Yes!"

"So this is it for you, then, huh? You intend to marry her, then?"

"I haven't… probably." He'd mentioned it to her, though he hadn't asked. And he wouldn't, not yet. He'd marry her tomorrow if he could. Somehow, he had a feeling she'd need more time to adjust to the idea. "Eventually, yes, I might marry her."

"I suggest you think long and hard about that. You've told me where she came from, and I get a feeling there's more that she's been through. A prince doesn't need a strong woman, Fiyero. He needs a princess. And she is not one." Rod stomped out of the room.

"Yero?" Elphaba stood in the doorway. He wondered how long she'd been there.

"What did you hear?"

"Most of it."

"You know it doesn't matter to me, right?" He took both her hands and brought her into the room. "I love you, no matter where you came from." Fiyero was angry. Nothing Elphaba did was enough for Rod. She'd gotten into Shiz, gotten her tuition waived, gotten great marks, impressed the Wizard. Still, none of those things made his brother feel as though she was good enough for him.

"I know you do." Elphaba smiled into his eyes. "And I love you. It doesn't matter."


	42. Words and Laughter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elphaba decides she wants to find her family. She and Fiyero get carried away.

What Rod had said stung more than she would admit to Fiyero, but he was already so insistent about telling her she was good enough that she didn't want him to get worse about it. She understood what Fiyero didn't. It wasn't about becoming or even being good enough; it was about having been born that way. Elphaba could not change the circumstances she'd grown up in, and she accepted that. Still, she voiced a question she'd worried about for some time. "If he doesn't want us together, Fiyero, is there… can he stop it? He is the king."

"You're asking me if he'll let me marry you."

"Not in those words." The idea of marriage scared her. It meant permanence and labels and expectations she wasn't sure she could live up to.

"It's not up to him. As far as I know, the only thing he can decree is when I have to be married by, not to whom." Fiyero kissed her lips gently.

Elphaba gulped. She remembered him saying something when they'd met about having to be married at twenty-one. They were about to turn twenty. "And, um, when is that, exactly?"

"When I finish Shiz." He said it as if it were not a big deal, as if it didn't define the rest of their lives. Fiyero had his hands wrapped around her waist and he nudged her nose with his own.

She tried to fight the panic at the idea. They had another year and a half. Or did they? Did he have to be engaged by the time he finished Shiz, or actually married? Her heart pounded in her chest and she wondered if he could hear it, so close to her. Instead, she looked up and smiled at him. A change of subject would be best. "You made a comment that the Wizard offered me a job."

"He pretty much did."

"I hadn't even… I'd been too focused on what he said regarding Dr. Dillamond to consider that." She'd been a whirlwind of anger, and she knew he was aware of that. "Not that I would, anyway. I couldn't work for the man who had Dr. Dillamond killed."

"What better place to defeat him from than from within his own ranks, though?" Fiyero asked. "I don't want to tell you what to do, but if you're going to insist on fighting the man, having an inside glimpse into his regime might be a good way to go about it."

She looked at him for a moment, somewhat surprised. Fiyero was intelligent, and she knew it, but oftentimes she forgot that he'd been trained in warfare and politics. He could be a brilliant strategist, but they so rarely talked about such things. "That's not a half bad idea, you know."

"Thanks for the compliment." He laughed. "You should do it, you know. See if he really means it about the job, and take it."

"One thing at a time. Let's finish Shiz first." And she meant that about more than just working for the Wizard. He'd pushed the idea of marriage too much for her liking, and if she could slow that down just a bit, it would be nice. "And maybe find my family?"

He sighed and stepped away from her. "You're sure that's the best idea?"

"Why wouldn't it be? I need to know, Fiyero."

"I worry finding the people who gave you up is going to hurt, Fae. I don't want to see that happen to you."

"I never said I needed to actually meet them, Yero. I just want to know about them. Fiyero, I'm asking for your help with this. You know by now that I rarely ask for help with anything." She moved towards him again, taking his hand. "You want us to have a future together. I can't think about the future when I don't know all of my past."

He nodded. "Well, then. I don't suppose there's much arguing with you. And I love you, so I'll give you what you want. I can send off to Munchkinland. I don't really know a lot of people out there, though."

"We could go out there, to the bigger towns and villages, ask around. We're about to have a whole summer to do whatever we want."

"And what if that brings you face to face with the people who abandoned you?"

"Then I'll handle it. It's my decision, Fiyero, not yours." She had never once asked for his protection, yet he always gave it. Most of the time, she'd be grateful for it. But at that moment, she knew this is what she needed, whether it hurt her or not.

"We'll go out there this summer if we haven't found anything out." He promised her.

"You are too good to me."

Fiyero placed a soft kiss on her lips. "You unpacked in your own room?"

Her cheeks flushed. "I didn't know if you'd want…"

"A fortnight without watching the time or worrying about old women invading our privacy? There's no way I'm not going to take advantage of every moment." His fingers began to trace her forearms.

Her skin tingled whenever he was near. It was as though his presence made every cell in her body want to reach out, to touch him, and each of them moved in concert. Was it the same for him? Were they like magnets, straining to reach each other whenever they got too close? She reached up and placed her hands on the nape of his neck, drawing him close for another kiss. "Starting now?" She breathed.

"Gladly." Fiyero's hands slid down her body, cupping her breasts through her dress.

She threw her head back a bit, her hands winding down over his shoulders to his shirt and tugging it open. Her lips curved into a smile when she reached his pants. Elphaba didn't even care that his shirt wasn't all the way off, she took his shaft into her hands, in feeling his hot skin her hand. "I love you."

"And I love you. Always." His hands on her waist got tight as she stroked him and he hissed. "Sweet Oz, Fae."

"Just wait," she whispered, lowering herself to her knees. Carefully, she brought him into her mouth. She whirled her tongue gently around the tip, bringing her lips further over him. His groan made her warm, and she reveled in the salty taste of his skin. With her tongue and lips, she moved over him. His hands tangled in her hair. She glided her mouth up and down, enjoying the way he looked down at her. With a grunt, he spilled into her mouth and she lapped up each drop of his sweetness.

After a few moments, he lifted her, but he didn't stop when she was standing. He carried her across the room to an old desk and perched her on the edge of it. Fiyero pushed her dress up, reached for her waist and pulled her panties down, tossing them to the floor. Grinning at her eagerly, he pulled her legs open. He ran his fingers through her folds and she had to brace herself with her hands behind her. Then he moved down and traced those same folds with his tongue. She panted as he teased her, moving until she whimpered in release.

Fiyero stood then, and she could feel how he pressed near her, how he wanted her. His hands came around behind her, pulling her towards him until he was poised at her entrance. With his nose, he nudged her chin so she'd look into his eyes as he buried himself inside her. She shuddered at the sensation, feeling him pulsing within her. Her slick folds encompassed him, and he filled her body, stroking each nerve ending. She grabbed onto his shoulder, holding herself up precariously.

The sound of the desk thumping into the wall was dull and quiet, though she imagined it filled the room. All she could hear was their breathing, feel his pounding inside her as he whispered exclamations, "I love you," or "sweet Fae," until she couldn't even hear that and her pupils constricted, her whole being tightening into a sweet ball of pleasure and she moaned into his shoulder. Several thrusts and a grunt later, he followed suit. They stayed for a moment, gazing into one another's eyes.

She took Fiyero's outstretched hand as the room faded back to normal. She leapt off the desk and jumped at the crash as a leg fell under the desk and it crashed to the ground. They made eye contact and laughed.

"That thing is ancient." Fiyero muttered, pulling his pants back up.

"Was ancient," she corrected. She rolled her eyes, dusting off her dress. "Although I have a feeling we gave it quite a run."

There was a knock at the door and before either of them could answer, Rod burst in. "I heard a… oh, sweet Oz, really?" He took one look at both of them, sweaty and disheveled. "Fiyero, that desk was an antique!"

Fiyero shrugged. "I apologize."

Elphaba could feel her hair matted to her forehead and brushed it away. She shrank behind Fiyero. Though Rod was well aware the two of them were sexually active, he hadn't needed to see… she swallowed hard. Her panties were in the middle of the floor still.

Rod merely raised his eyebrows and surveyed the room. He didn't even look at Elphaba, just glared at Fiyero. "You are twenty! Stop acting like a lust-filled teenage boy."

"We got carried away. I'm sorry, Rod." Fiyero reached back and brushed her hand with his own. "Things happen, Rod."

"That's what a bed is for." He slammed the door behind him.

They only dissolved into more laughter.


	43. Barren Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elphaba finds out some upsetting news she has to break to Fiyero.

He hadn't meant to break the desk… he'd gotten carried away with her. She looked so good, so sweet. It was impossible to resist her when she got that hooded, lusty look in her eyes. Their lovemaking was always intense; they'd torn his sheets and dented his dorm walls their share of times. The way she felt, her legs locking around him and inviting him in, her soft flesh surrounding him… how could he hold back? He couldn't ask for a more beautiful, perfect partner.

He thought that the interaction with Rod would be the only obstacle they'd come across, but several days into their visit, Elphaba came to his room after dinner, not looking at him. "I should go back to my room. Fiyero… we need to end this."

He was flummoxed. The night before, they'd made love, talked, laughed, been happy as they had been all holiday. She'd disappeared for most of the day, but she did that on occasion. Most of the time she was off reading or exploring. Where had this come from? "Fae, what is wrong?"

"I don't belong in your life. This has gone too far. I can't be… we can't be together." She wouldn't meet his gaze.

"I thought we were past this."

"So did I. But… we can't."

"I don't care where you're from, Fae, or what you've done. It doesn't matter. You're the only woman I could ever want." He'd say it a thousand times to make her believe it just once.

"It's not about where I'm from, not quite." She sighed. "Fiyero, you deserve a normal life. You deserve to marry and have children and grow old."

"And I can't do those things with you?" He demanded, grabbing her hand.

"No, you can't. Because I… I'm barren, Fiyero." She withdrew her hand slowly, hanging her head. "I'm sorry. If I had known earlier, I would've stopped this earlier…"

"Known earlier? How did you find this out?" He sat down carefully on his bed.

"I… I haven't bled in two months. But I also knew there was no way I was pregnant. It just didn't feel right." She took a deep, shaky breath. "When I turned thirteen and started bleeding, Majik had Zestra share an herbal concoction that she took with me. He said he didn't trust me not to get myself pregnant. I didn't realize he was grooming me for his own use, of course." Elphaba winced. "I took it once a month every month, at Zestra's urging. Of course, when I left, I didn't take it again."

"What makes you so certain it's not just some illness? Maybe you need to see a physician." He shook his head.

"I was concerned, like you are now. There's a midwife in the village, Fiyero. I went to her today, told her everything. The potion they gave me didn't just prevent pregnancy for the moment, Fiyero, it prevented it permanently. I will never have children."

"Oh, Fae, I'm sorry…"

"No, I'm sorry. You deserve a future. I can accept that I will never have children. But you shouldn't have to."

At this, he got off the bed again. "Who says I wanted children? I'm not the king. I don't need heirs." Fiyero drew her towards him. "That doesn't matter to me. I want you. If children aren't a part of that, then fine. I wasn't certain I wanted that in the first place." He could feel her trembling. "Please, Fae, don't. That man took so much from you: your innocence, every penny you could earn, your fertility. Don't let him take our chance at love, too."

He'd watched the way his brother had been about children. Almost immediately after his marriage, Rod had focused on begetting an heir. While Fiyero understood that having a child could be a blessing, he'd watched the way Verda and Rod had seemed to draw apart afterwards, like they'd done what they needed to and there was no need to be in love anymore. That wasn't what he wanted for his marriage. All he wanted was love, and Elphaba embodied that for him. He didn't feel the need for more.

And so he nuzzled his face into her hair. "I still want you just as much as I did before you told me."

She sighed, clearly not heartened completely by the comfort he was giving. "You're too sweet." But her eyes flickered away from his.

"Fae, did you…" He didn't know how to say this. Fiyero realized that maybe this disappointment wasn't just about him. "Did you want children?"

Elphaba glared at him suddenly. "Of course not. I mean, I never thought I did. But at least the option was there…" She wiped at the single tear that stole down her cheek.

"Well, if we stay together, you could be an aunt," he promised. "After all, I do have a nephew and a niece." Fiyero kissed her nose. "And think about it this way: we don't have to worry about being careful anymore." He didn't know what else to say to make it better.

She laughed a little at that. "You really don't mind?"

"Not if you don't." He moved her towards the bed. "Come sit with me for a bit."

She followed. "I do think I mind, just a bit. I didn't want a child, necessarily, but the ability to have one was part of me."

Fiyero didn't, and couldn't understand. But he nodded and took her hand in both of his. "There's plenty of you for me, with or without that."

They didn't speak about it again after that day, though Fiyero never told her how angry it made him. He didn't care that she couldn't have his children, he cared that yet another part of her had been destroyed by this man who had all but broken her, had she not been strong enough to hold her own. Elphaba had no family, and her chance to have any family of her own had been stolen from her. So Fiyero set out with renewed vigor to find her family.

He knew almost no one in Munchkinland – outside of Boq. And Boq wasn't wealthy or important in any way; he was always saying so. His parents had barely been able to scrape the money together to send him to Shiz. But Elphaba did know someone important – Nessarose.

"I couldn't ask her to do that. I can barely stand her half the time. She's a sweet girl, but the religious ramblings…" Elphaba sighed. "You really think she'd be able to find anything?"

"Her great-grandfather is Eminent Thropp. She'd have the connections." He insisted. "I can ask her, if you want, but she rarely talks to me. I think it'd be better coming from you, Fae. Tell her your story – not all of it, not if you don't want to. Appeal to her sense of charity."

She wrung her hands. "It's a good idea. I give you credit for that, Yero, but it makes me nervous. I just don't like involving so many people in this mess."

"Just tell her the bare minimum."

Glinda sighed from across the room as she ran a file across her nails. "You two have been arguing about this for two days now. Elphie, just do it. It can't hurt."

Elphaba shot a glare in Glinda's direction. "No one knows where I'm really from outside of you two. I don't want to add to that."

"You think Nessa would tell anyone else? I'm pretty sure gossiping is a sin." Glinda raised her eyebrows. "Stop fretting."

Fiyero put a hand on her knee. "I love you. And you know I'd do anything for you, but there's only so much that I actually can do about this without a little help. You ask. Whatever it takes after that, whether it's money for travel or something else, I'll do it."

"I don't need you doing everything for me, Fiyero." Elphaba folded her arms across her chest.

He bit back a grin. This was exactly the reaction he'd wanted from her. Just the idea of him trying to take care of her brought out her independent streak. She'd do it, now. "I didn't mean it that way. I can be with you when you ask, if you want."

"What am I, a child? I may not like it, but that doesn't mean I'm not capable of doing it on my own!" Elphaba huffed.

"Well, then, I'll leave you to it." He kissed her cheek and got up. "Let me know if I can help."

"I won't!" She called after him as the door shut behind him.

Fiyero couldn't help but smile. He knew her too well.


	44. Truth Be Told

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elphaba finds out the truth about her family.

Glinda offered to help as well, but Elphaba knew this was something she must do alone. After taking a deep breath, she knocked on the door between the adjoining rooms. She had no idea what she was going to say, but she didn't want to think about it too much more.

Nanny answered. "Miss Elphaba? Is there something you need?"

"I was hoping to talk to Nessa for a moment." The old woman would insist on sitting in on this, wouldn't she? Elphaba eyed Nanny uneasily.

"Come on in," Nanny gestured Elphaba in and closed the door behind her. Elphaba could imagine Glinda was not pleased with that development, unable to eavesdrop.

"Why, Miss Elphaba," Nessa said, smiling sweetly, "is there something I can do for you? Have you changed your mind about joining me at church this Sunday?"

"Not quite." Elphaba sighed. "I wish I didn't have to ask this, but you're the only person I could come to. I will do whatever you need to repay you if you help me. Nessa, the only people who know what I'm about to tell you are Glinda and Fiyero."

Nessa looked at her curiously. "I see."

"Before I came here, I lived on the streets in the City. I was abandoned as a baby and taken in by strangers. I never knew my family. All I know is that I was originally from somewhere in Munchkinland. I want to find my real family, Nessa. I just want to know who I am. But I need someone to help me, someone who knows Munchkinland and might be able to reach out to midwives who might remember a little green baby being born."

Nanny coughed. "Miss Elphaba, I hardly think this is the time…"

"Please," Elphaba said quietly. "I just want to know. I have no family. I will never have one. This is all that I have left."

Nanny stood up. "I need to put an end to this conversation. Now."

But Nessa stopped her. "Why shouldn't I help her?"

The old woman looked distressed. "I… Miss Elphaba, can I speak with you in your room?"

Elphaba swallowed hard. She didn't know what had come over the usually mischievous and jolly old woman. Had she said something out of line? But she followed the old woman into the other room, shooting Glinda a look as they entered. "What is it?"

"Don't involve Nessa in this."

"It's just an inquiry…"

"No, Miss Elphaba, it's not. She doesn't know this, and she never will."

"What does that mean?" Elphaba asked, confused.

"You can't ask her to do this, because if there is anyone who knows… she'd find out."

"And how would that be a problem?" Elphaba was getting frustrated.

Nanny groaned. "Before she was born, her parents had another child, a girl."

Glinda gasped.

"You mean… me? That's not… no."

"I was her mother's Nanny, and when she had the child, she panicked. The child was… deformed. And not her husband's, clearly. Her husband was a preacher, and when she gave birth he wasn't even in town, and she wrote for me to come immediately."

Elphaba gaped at the old woman.

"She considered drowning the child, but she knew that was an act she couldn't perform. So we traveled to the City instead, leaving the baby on the doorsteps of a church, knowing someone would care for it. We told her husband the child was stillborn…"

"That church was abandoned." Elphaba didn't know what more to say. "I almost died."

"You didn't, obviously."

"So my father, Nessa… no one but you and my mother…?"

"No one else knows." Nanny shook her head. "You know Nessa's mother is long dead. I am the only person alive who knows the truth."

Elphaba took a deep breath and sat down. "She meant for me to be found by members of the church, then, by good people?"

"Yes." Nanny lowered her eyes. "We didn't know that church was abandoned."

"I… I see. Nanny… I understand that given my deformity, and given that apparently it was clear I was not her husband's, why she wanted to give me up. But why… why am I green? Who was my actual father?"

"I'm afraid there's not much of an answer to that. There was a man who was traveling that your mother thought maybe… but he wasn't green. The bottle that was left with you? That was all she had. I could never trace it." Nanny shrugged. "But you mustn't tell Nessa. It would crush her. She knows so little about her mother, and her father places the woman on a pedestal. To know that everything she grew up believing was wrong would break her heart."

"And Nessa, her disability?"

"She wanted to avoid another…"

"Another me." Elphaba realized. "Sweet Oz."

Glinda got up. "You know what? I think maybe I should get Fiyero."

Elphaba turned on her. "Don't! You don't think I can handle this news on my own?"

"That's not it. I know he'd want to know."

"I'll tell him when I tell him!" She snapped. Right now it felt too strange, too much like a folktale or a myth, some story women told their children to scare them. It didn't feel like her life. After everything that had happened, her life was already like a dream. This only made it seem less real. Elphaba turned back to Nanny. "I won't tell Nessa."

"Thank you. I assume that answers your questions, then? You understand there's no one for you to meet. Your real father could be anywhere, your mother is dead. And even if you told her husband, even if I told him, I somehow doubt he'd believe it."

Elphaba merely nodded. She glared at Glinda as the blonde crept out of the room. That meant she'd be back shortly with Fiyero in tow. He'd only left a little while ago. "What are you going to tell Nessa, then?" She asked the old woman. "You might have raised questions when you dragged me out of the room like that."

"I'll figure something out. Don't you worry."

"So she's my half-sister? We have the same mother, but her father is different."

"Yes. And, to be honest, she may not be that man's daughter, either. Although she certainly acts like it. There was a young Quadling man who came by while Frexspar was out preaching in the rural areas. He stayed for some time, even after Frex came home. But I never saw any Quadling in her. Melena was quite relieved when Nessie was born so pale."

"My mother was a bit, um, affectionate with men, then?" Elphaba asked.

"Since she was quite young. It's nice to see neither of her daughters have taken on that trait. Nessarose will probably die an old maid and you've been with that Vinkun boy since I've known you, though I'm not so certain that relationship is exactly chaste…" Nanny gave Elphaba a look.

Elphaba flushed. "That wouldn't be any of your business, would it?"

"As your chaperone, technically it is. But I won't press, dearie. So long as you don't wind up pregnant on my watch and we don't have a scandal on our hands, I don't care much what you do."

Pregnancy would not be a problem – ever. "And Nessa has a younger brother?"

"Shell. Melena died giving birth to him."

"And who is his father?"

"Frexspar, I believe. After Nessie's birth she was too drugged up to really cavort around the way she had been before." Nanny patted Elphaba's shoulder. "Look, dearie, I understand this is a lot to take in. And I… I realize that it's not the happiest story. If I had known that church was abandoned…"

What would her life have been? Raised by maunts? Adopted? There would've been no Majik, no Gergin or Zestra, no stealing. There would not be nightmares late at night where she relived the feelings from years ago, as hands touched her skin, as she pleaded for him to be gentle, begged him not to use her that way… nightmares that she wouldn't speak about.

"Fae?" Fiyero and Glinda were back.

She looked at him, saw the concern in his eyes. True, some of the horrors of her past would never have happened if she had been found by someone else, taken in by good people. But if that had happened, she wouldn't have Fiyero, either. Surprising both of them, she got up and wrapped her arms around him. "I love you," she whispered.

"I love you, too."


	45. How Does It Feel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rod makes some good points about Fiyero's intentions for Elphaba.

He convinced her to go back to his room. Fiyero saw how both Nanny and Glinda were watching her, staring at them. She wouldn't want to be on display while she processed whatever news she'd just been given. As they walked across campus, she reiterated the conversation and he listened silently, bewildered. There was little emotion in her voice as she told him what she'd found out.

When they made their way into his room, he asked, "And how do you feel about it?"

She shook her head. "I haven't really made sense of it. I wish Glinda hadn't come to get you. I wanted time to think about this. I only followed you here because I knew Glinda would pester me even more than you would."

"So you don't want to talk about it?" Fiyero didn't want her hiding from her feelings, but if she simply needed time, he'd be more than willing to give her that.

"We don't have to talk at all," Elphaba grinned at him wickedly. "I need a distraction, to let my mind wander for a few minutes. You can do that for me, can't you?" She sat herself on his bed and chewed on her lip playfully.

"Whatever you need." He kissed her.

Later, as she snuggled against him, she murmured, "You know, in spite of everything, it's nice to know I can at least have a normal sex life."

Fiyero snorted at that.

Elphaba sat up a little and glared at him. "What? Is there a complaint you'd like to lodge?" She demanded.

"Oh, Fae, our sex life is not normal." He kissed her nose. "It's better."

She giggled a little. "Well, then." As she relaxed again, she sighed. "Do we have to talk about what I found out tonight?"

"You probably should," he advised.

"Fiyero…"

"There are so many implications of what you just found out. I mean, Nessa is your sister…"

"A sister who will never know I'm her sister! A sister who… who might well be disabled because our mother was trying to make sure she didn't have another green child… because of me." Elphaba looked at him. "Do you realize that?"

"Elphaba, no." He put a hand on her arm. "What your mother did was her decision. And, if your coloring is also her fault by way of whatever other drugs she took or man she slept with, then it's technically her fault she was trying to avoid it in the first place. You are not to blame."

"What does it matter? Nessarose will not know, either way." She crawled closer to him and rested her chin on his chest. "I think what's more shocking to me is that they didn't want me to die. She didn't intend to leave me out there alone."

"But you were."

"Yes."

"And you want to know what might've happened if you hadn't been? If she'd dropped you off at a real church?" Fiyero brushed her hair gently through his fingers. "Because wondering 'what if' is not going to do you any good."

"I… I have wondered. How could I not, Yero? Oz only knows, I might've become a maunt."

He laughed hard at that. "You? I don't care how you were raised, there is no way you would ever have become a maunt."

"Why? Because I'm a sinner?" She cocked an eyebrow at him.

"Because you and religion don't mix, Fae. You're too practical." He squeezed her shoulder. "And I don't want to bother with what could've been. You can't spend your life living in the past, the future or some alternate universe. You need to exist now."

"And now I've got you." She whispered. "So what does it matter? I think my life is perfectly fine as it is." She pressed her lips softly against his. "I may have some complaints about the past, but my current situation is perfectly fine with me."

"Good."

Somehow, Fiyero and Elphaba made it through to the summer without any more insanity. According to Glinda, Elphaba all but avoided speaking to Nessarose unless it was absolutely necessary. She only spoke Nanny when she was informing her she was leaving. Of course, Elphaba herself didn't tell him this, and he didn't ask about it. If that made it easier on her, then she could do as she wished.

But he had his own plans he needed to make. "I'm proposing to Elphaba, whether you like it or not." He told Rod. They'd returned for the summer only two days before, and he decided it was best to get this conversation, which was sure to be unpleasant, out of the way.

Rod shrugged. "I'm not surprised."

That was it? No lecture? No reminder that she wasn't suited for a man of his esteem? Fiyero only gaped at his brother. "You're… well, all right then."

"It's not what I wanted for you, Fiyero, but I've come to the realization that I should let you make your own bad decisions."

"Bad decisions? I'm going to marry her, Rod."

"I wish you wouldn't, but she's your problem."

"She's not a problem." Fiyero insisted. "I… I'm going to ask her after we go back to Shiz. I'm not sure when, exactly. But I'd appreciate your support here. She's going to be your sister-in-law, and she deserves to be treated that way."

"It's amusing that you automatically assume that poor girl is going to actually agree to a marriage." Rod commented. "She might see reason, unlike you."

Fiyero clenched his fists. "Why can't you just accept this, Rod? She's a smart, capable person. Her past… that was years ago. She's probably going to graduate at the top of our class, Rod. What in Oz is wrong with her?"

"Fiyero, she's not one of us. We don't even know what she is…"

"We do. She's Munchkin. The skin is just… a fluke." Of course, they had no idea who her father might be, so she might only be half Munchkin, but at least that was an answer.

"That doesn't make her one of us."

"No, it doesn't. But we could use a little culture, Rod. You know the Wizard looks at us like barbarians. He respects the people of Munchkinland. Showing that we're just as sophisticated as they are might not hurt us. Besides, how many people are going to care who I marry? She won't ever be their queen, just a princess."

"I realize that. But… it's not like she's from a powerful family in Munchkinland, Fiyero."

Actually, she was. He made note to ask Elphaba if she realized that, technically, she was Thropp Third Descending, not Nessarose. Although maybe he wouldn't ask that – she'd probably not want to hear it. Telling Rod about Elphaba's lineage would do no good if there were no mother to claim her. "She could become powerful. I told you the Wizard is ready to hire her…"

"And he won't, not if she's stuck out here in this wasteland. Do you really want to take that future from her?"

Fiyero had no response. Rod was right. If he asked Elphaba to marry him, she'd be stuck at Kiamo Ko for the rest of her life. Her chances of working for the Wizard would be gone. Then again, she wasn't too fond of the Wizard, but how could he refuse her that choice? She could do something important, change the world. And he was sitting here selfishly wanting her to be his wife and do nothing more. She'd be a princess, but only in name. What would she do all day? He was fine sitting and reading, occasionally hunting. But Elphaba? That would never be enough for her.

Rod dismissed Fiyero. "You have more to think about than you originally considered."

Fiyero left the room in a haze. He wandered slowly back to his room, where Elphaba lay, still asleep on his bed. After climbing in beside her, he kissed her forehead. The idea that he might have to give her up was too much to bear.

She shifted and opened her eyes. Lazily, she grinned. "Yero my hero."

"Fae…" He didn't think he could ever let her go.


	46. Lovers' Quarrel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elphaba explains why she's upset with Fiyero. Glinda and Elphaba meet with the Wizard about their futures.

The summer was perfect, magical. She had no responsibilities, no concerns. Fiyero was the only thing she had to tend to, and she enjoyed tending to his needs. They were her needs as much as they were his. Days blurred together and before long, they were going back to school for their final year.

"Maybe it's time we talked about graduation," Fiyero said. It was their first night back, and she was curled up beside him in his bed. Glinda was out with Pfanee and Shen-Shen, so Elphaba had headed to Fiyero's.

"What do you mean? We graduate. It's simple."

"And after?"

Elphaba cocked her head. Was he asking her something more? "I don't have any… definitive plans."

"And the Wizard? He asked you to come see him once you'd graduated. I know you don't want to work for the man, Fae, but you've heard the phrase 'keep your friends close and your enemies closer.'" Fiyero ran his forefinger along her arm. "It might not hurt."

Her heart slowed. She'd thought maybe he was going to ask her to marry him, and she had been… eager? Sweet Oz, she wanted to marry him, princess and all. When had that happened? Carefully, she said, "And you'd go back to Kiamo Ko? It'd be a bit difficult to carry on a relationship that way."

He laughed. "I know. And… I have to be married. But you shouldn't have to live by the rules that were put on me. It's your life."

"Fiyero, I'm not exactly an actress. I couldn't work for that man without giving away my true feelings. You've seen how I get when something upsets me."

"That I have." Fiyero sighed heavily. "But Fae, think of the power, the prestige. If you were very cautious, you could do it. What have you been going to Shiz all this time for?"

"To learn."

"And nothing after?" Fiyero pressed. "You're too smart not to do something with it."

Was he trying to push her away? Had he finally realized what she'd known for so long – that she would never be good enough? Elphaba turned away from him. "Forget it."

"Fae…"

"What if I don't know what I want?" She asked. "I want a lot of things, Fiyero. I know I can't have them all. But you aren't helping!" If he had just asked her to marry him, there wouldn't have been a question. She would've done it. But… if he was having doubts, now she was, too.

"I'm sorry," he murmured. "I just… I thought we should talk about it."

"Why? So I realize I have no idea what I'm doing?"

"That wasn't it. I just wanted to know what you wanted. I know what I have to do, Fae. But you have options." He turned her cheek back towards him and kissed her. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"I… I'm not used to having the choice to do anything. I mean, when I was on the streets, I had to do exactly as Majik said. And I had to steal. And then I came to Kiamo Ko, where I really just hid in my room because it was all I had. Then I came here, and really the only option here was to study. Now…"

"Now you have to make a big decision."

Except she didn't. Without him proposing, there was no decision to make. "Fiyero, it's months and months away. Stop this."

He frowned, but did just that.

She didn't want to tell him that his pushing had hurt her. The idea that he wanted her anywhere but by his side broke her heart a little, and she didn't know how to express that. She also wasn't quite certain where it came from. Elphaba loved him, had loved him for quite some time, but this was something beyond that.

So she threw herself into her studies. If he wanted her to impress the Wizard, then impress him she would. And by the fall holidays, both she and Glinda had been summoned to the City.

"You really don't want me going with you?" Fiyero asked.

"Absolutely not. We can take care of ourselves. Fiyero, if he wants us to go out there and work for him, we should be able to handle ourselves in the City, should we not?"

He bit his lip. "Fae, last time you were in the City, you had an unpleasant encounter…"

"And you think you need to be there to take care of me if someone says something that might hurt my fragile feelings?" Elphaba snapped. "No."

"You've been distant." He grumbled.

"So have you! It's our last year here. I'm busy." But the truth was, distancing him was the only way to make their eventual separation – one that he seemed so sure of – easier on her. "I'm in your room at least twice a week. Is that not enough for you?"

"Nothing is, with you." He told her, pulling her into his arms. "Just… I worry about you. I know you're strong and more than capable, but that doesn't mean I like it." Fiyero pressed his lips to her forehead.

"You know I love you."

"And I love you." That would never change. "But Glinda and I are going on our own."

So she sat in a carriage glumly staring out the window as the terrain went by. Elphaba knew whatever offer was given to her, Fiyero would insist she take it. And she didn't want to, not really. Her life had been more than eventful enough without working for the most powerful and evil man in Oz. She wouldn't mind quiet.

"I can't believe you wouldn't let Fiyero join us."

"I don't want him here."

"Lovers' quarrel?"

She shook her head. They weren't quarreling. She wouldn't tell him that his pushing him away only hurt, and he wouldn't tell her why he was doing it. "It's more complicated than that, Glinda."

"What could possibly be wrong between you two?"

"You wouldn't understand."

"Try."

"Fine. He… he wants me to go work for the Wizard."

"So?"

"So that means I can't… we can't…"

"Oh, I see. He wants you to pursue your dream and he doesn't realize that your dream is being with him?" Glinda asked.

"I… somewhat. I think he's trying to end it without actually having to do it himself," she admitted.

"Or maybe he wants you to be happy, even if that means you have to leave him."

"He wouldn't, Glinda." She sighed. "Would he?"

"He loves you. I don't think he wants to end your relationship."

Elphaba wondered if that was the case. Why wouldn't he just tell her so? Why wouldn't he give her the choice? "I'm not sure about that."

Glinda glared at her. "You two are both being ridiculous, as far as I can tell, then!"

"Then stop talking about it."

They sat in a somewhat stony silence until they arrived at the palace. As they walked in, she felt Glinda's hand sneak into hers. Forget her problems with Fiyero. They were about to have an audience with the Wizard for a second time…

"Misses Elphaba and Glinda, how nice to see you again."

"And you, your Ozness." Glinda curtseyed.

Elphaba bowed stiffly. "Of course." Could he even really see them behind that awful contraption? Did anyone even know what the man looked like? Did he greet everyone like this, or just the unimportant people?

"I've been following your progress most closely." The head bobbed on its springs. "And I have plans for you."

_Plans we probably have no say in,_ Elphaba thought.

"That's very exciting news, Sir." Glinda eyed Elphaba.

"You see, more and more, I've had trouble keeping the peace in specific regions of Oz. All of my power is located here. I need to establish strongholds in each of the four regions. Miss Glinda, you could handle the north, since you're from Gillikin originally. Miss Elphaba, where exactly are you from?"

Elphaba stared at him, debating how to answer that question. If he had eyes everywhere, he likely knew exactly where she was from. Lying could hurt her. "I spent almost a year in the Vinkus before Shiz, and that's where I return to for the holidays." That was the truth, anyway.

"Hmmm." The eyes on the mask closed for a moment. "That Vinkun prince you had with you last time? Your consort?"

"Consort?" Elphaba repeated.

"They've been involved for a few years, yes." Glinda shot Elphaba a look. "Is that important?"

"It might be."

"Why does my personal life have any bearing on this conversation?" Elphaba asked.

"Because the Vinkus is an extremely unstable region. They're broken off in tribes and there's constant infighting. A stronghold at Kiamo Ko wouldn't hurt."

"I never said I wanted to stay there…" She did. But Fiyero might not want that.

"Consider it."

At that moment, several guards came and took them back to the entryway. Glinda looked at Elphaba. "Well, that was interesting."


	47. What About Me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elphaba and Fiyero finally discuss the tension between them.

He knew Elphaba was angry with him, though he didn't understand why. Fiyero hoped her trip to the City would give her time to cool off. And maybe it would help her make a decision, because he didn't think he could let her give up her future just for him. When she came back, though, and he hugged her close, she stiffened. "How did it go?"

"He offered me…" Elphaba looked into his eyes for a moment, then stared at the ground, "a position." Her words sounded short and final.

"What kind of position?"

"Working for him, reporting back to him."

"And what did you say?"

"I said I'd consider it."

That was at least good. It meant she hadn't gotten hotheaded and refused then and there. If she'd done that, it may have looked somewhat suspicious. "What, exactly, does he want you to do?"

"I'm sure he'll go into more detail if I actually take the position, Fiyero."

"And are you going to?"

"What's with the inquisition?" She folded her arms across her chest. "I… I'm not to go back until the spring holidays. I have time. Would you let me relax?"

Relaxing with her did sound nice, so he dropped the subject. They tip-toed around whatever it was that was creating so much tension between them. When she was able to stay the night, he kept her near him. He didn't want to wonder if he'd be letting her go. And if he was going to, he wasn't going to waste any of the time he had left.

"I'm sure Rod is going to give you hell about the fact that your grades fell," Elphaba commented as they headed back for the winter holidays.

"By two percent! I'm still in the top of our class… well, the top quarter, anyway."

"You were in the top ten."

'What does it matter? I could fail and I'd still end up doing the same thing in the same place. Besides, that political theory class killed me!" But he liked that she was nagging him about his grades. She still cared enough about his future to say something.

"And what about me?" She snapped.

"What?"

"Does what I'm doing at Shiz matter? Or am I going to end up…?" Elphaba buried her face in her hands. "I shouldn't have said that."

"Wait, what's wrong?" He drew her hands away from her face. "Are you afraid of…? Fae, you don't have to marry me. I never asked. You can and should go to the City."

She pursed her lips. "Of course I should. You don't want me at Kiamo Ko. You've made that clear." Elphaba turned away.

"I've done what? No. Fae, I want you there. But I also want you to do what will make you happiest in the long run."

"And you think working for that fascist asshole is going to make me happier than living peacefully with you? What twisted world are you living in?"

"So you want to stay with me? You wouldn't feel like… like all of your intelligence, your work… like it was wasted? I want you to feel like you've done everything you wanted to, what you needed to."

"All I wanted, Fiyero, was you."

He stared at her, open-mouthed. Fiyero had tried so hard to protect her from having to make a decision, and here she was begging him to give her the choice. "You'd be stuck at Kiamo Ko."

"Which is exactly where the old bastard wants me to go anyway."

"He does?"

"He wants to develop four strongholds, Fiyero. One of them needs to be in the Vinkus. Kiamo Ko is as good a place as any. I'd be… overseeing things. Making sure people don't kill each other or start planning a rebellion or something."

He stood up. They'd been sitting side-by-side on the bed. Fiyero took her hand and lifted her as well. "Then it's perfect." He couldn't believe how nicely everything had fallen into place.

She rolled her eyes. "I thought you didn't want me."

"I couldn't want anything more." He got down on one knee. "Will you, then? Marry me?"

"Oh, please, don't do this here!"

"I'm asking, Fae. I don't have a ring because… well, because I'm an idiot. But I'll get you one."

"I don't want any damned ring! Yes, I'll marry you."

He stood up and dragged her against him. "Thank Oz."

"But if you ever try to make another decision for me, you will severely regret it, Fiyero." She pulled back. "I can't believe you thought I wasn't capable of making the choice."

"I thought you were. I just… I didn't want you to ever feel as though your feelings for me held you back from what you really wanted." He brushed a strand of hair from her cheek.

"That was my choice, not yours. And even if it hadn't worked out this way, Fiyero, I would rather have been with you. Don't you understand that? You really think I don't love you that much?"

"I think you have a lot of passion for several things." He shrugged.

"I want peace, Fiyero. I want to be happy. And what I do know is that you make me happy. I wouldn't trade that for anything." Elphaba pressed her forehead against his before kissing him. "You are a dumb oaf for behaving that way. Do you know how I felt? Next time, my love, just be honest."

"There won't be a next time. There won't need to be."

He didn't want to announce anything to Rod until he'd gotten her a ring, so he decided to wait a day and sneak off the the village jeweler with Elphaba, who was clearly uncomfortable the whole time. She held her hand out begrudgingly when he wanted her to try on a ring, rolling her eyes. But when she looked down at it on her finger, realization crossed her face and she whispered, "We're getting married."

"Yes." He took her hand and kissed it. "Now I want to tell Rod."

Elphaba cringed a bit. "I know we have to, but I just don't think it'll go over well."

"He's known I wanted to propose to you for a few months, Fae. It'll be fine." They walked back to the castle slowly, his arm around her waist as she leaned into him. "I promise."

"You're sure?"

He wasn't, but he wouldn't tell her so. Rod was respectful enough to behave accordingly in front of Elphaba. Fiyero pulled her in for a deep kiss before they walked back into the castle. "Positive. We'll tell him now."

"Now? Not in a few hours at dinner?"

"Now. I'm not waiting any longer." He squeezed her hip. "I waited to long to propose to you as it is."

She took a deep breath. "I suppose now is as good a time as any."

Fiyero knocked on Rod's office door, and found both Verda and Rod sitting inside. Verda was holding their daughter and whispering harshly to Rod but stopped as soon as they entered. Nudging his fiancee, Fiyero said, "We have an announcement."

"You're engaged?" Rod asked unceremoniously. "Congratulations. I'd say we can discuss it at dinner, but it appears I must leave." It was only then Fiyero noticed the bag on his desk that he was throwing things into.

"What's going on?"

"I've been called to the City on urgent business. I hate that it has to be now, but you'll be back this summer and we'll have all the time in the world to catch up and plan your wedding. I really must go."

Elphaba lowered her head. "Thank you for your congratulations. I'm sorry you have to leave so soon."

"That's fine, Miss Elphaba. You will make Fiyero a fine wife. He tells me you'll be working for the Wizard?"

"Yes, Sir, from here."

"That sounds like a nice idea." Rod nodded, closed his bag and moved towards the door. "We'll talk again soon."

Unfortunately for all of them, that wouldn't be the case.


	48. A Change in Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tragedy strikes Kiamo Ko, leaving Fiyero and Elphaba to deal with the aftermath.

The news came three days later during dinner. Without Rod, dinner was a fairly quiet affair. Fiyero and Elphaba didn't say much, since they did most of their talking alone. Verda fed the children and rarely spoke to anyone but the infants. Elphaba knew it wasn't because Verda was angry at either of them; it was because she was displeased with Rod's sudden departure. She'd made that clear enough.

She'd been aimlessly twirling her pasta when one of the stable boys rushed in, huffing and out of breath. "Prince Fiyero, there's been a development."

Elphaba raised her eyebrows. Life at the castle had always been quiet. And what was it that couldn't wait for Rodine's return? Looking over at Fiyero, she saw the concern begin to cloud his features.

He got up and walked over towards the doorway. "What is it?" He asked in a low voice.

The boy's eyes flashed to Verda. He bit his lip.

"Come, talk to me." Fiyero escorted the young man out of the room.

Verda stared after Fiyero, her hand frozen in the air with a fork she'd been holding to her young son's mouth as she breastfed her daughter.

"I'm sure it's nothing," Elphaba tried, uneasy.

But it wasn't. Fiyero burst in a few minutes later, his face a mess of emotions she had never seen before. He looked at Verda for a moment, then his niece and nephew. He swallowed hard. "Verda, something happened to Rod."

The fork that had been so precariously hanging in Verda's hands came clattering to the table. "No."

He nodded. "He was killed just outside the City. They think a band of robbers overtook him…" Fiyero's voice broke.

Elphaba murmured, "Sweet Oz," and got up to comfort Fiyero. As soon as she was close, he pulled her into his arms and buried his face in her hair. She could feel his tears. But after a moment, he let her go and looked back at Verda.

"I… I'm sorry, Verda."

Verda never sobbed, though tears flowed freely down her cheeks. Perhaps it was because she sat beside one child and held the other and wished to protect them. Elphaba admired her strength. The woman only nodded and said, "Let me put the children to bed and we'll continue this conversation. They shouldn't hear this."

Elphaba didn't think the children could really understand a word, but they could read emotions, and this conversation was bound to be fraught with pain. She watched the woman leave the room and looked to her fiancee. "Oh, Yero, that's awful."

He collapsed into the nearest chair. "It was just a trip to the City, Fae. It wasn't supposed to be dangerous."

She sat beside him and placed a hand over his. "I'm so sorry, Yero."

He nodded and squeezed her hand. "There's something we'll need to discuss. But later. Can I talk to Verda alone?"

She bowed her head and left the room.

It was several hours later when he came to their bedroom. The grief was still evident in his features, though the tears had dried. "Fae, the moment Rod died… I'm king. Until his son reaches the age of sixteen."

The words weighed heavily on him. "That's…" She knew he'd never wanted it. He liked the freedom that being a prince had brought him, but did not wish for the responsibility of being a king. Now it had been thrust upon him.

"I know." He sat down on the edge of the bed. "Elphaba, you're about to marry me. That would make you my queen."

She gaped at him. "But I'm not… I shouldn't… what about Verda?"

"The power passses through the male heir out here. She was only queen so long as her husband was the king." He sighed heavily. "Her children take the throne as soon as they are old enough. But in our society, a woman's place isn't respected enough to let her rule. It's part of the reason other parts of Oz might consider us uncivilized."

Elphaba only looked at him. It had taken her years to even adjust to the idea of possibly being a princess, but a queen? No matter what she did, it always came back to where she came from. She was a child of the streets, plain and simple. "What… what, exactly, does the queen do, Fiyero?"

Part of her wanted to tell him no. She wanted to say that, though she loved him and wanted to be with him forever, she couldn't marry him if she had to be queen. But he'd had enough loss. Losing her would be too much for him. Though the prospect of being queen frightened her, made her panic, she could not leave him in this state. Her feelings about the position were less important than his pain at that moment. He needed her, and she loved him more than anything else.

She scooted closer to him on the bed, and rested a hand on his shoulder. Though she needed answers from him at that moment, he also needed to know she was there and wasn't going anywhere. Their eyes met for a moment before he answered her.

"Usually, the queen's job is just to bear children. We don't… we don't need them, Fae. Rod has a son. As the oldest son of the oldest son, he would be the next in line long before any children I would have… which we won't."

"We can't," she reminded him softly.

"I know. And that's fine. Verda will need help. Those children will need a father figure. I'm all they have now. And while I love Verda, a strong female role model wouldn't hurt, either." He gave her a halfhearted smile.

She tried to smile back. "I'll do my best."

"You'll still marry me? You don't… it doesn't…?"

"It's fine. Nothing was going to stop me from marrying you, Yero. I love you."

He kissed her softly. "Good." After a moment, he said, "There is one other thing."

"What is it?" She wasn't certain she could take anymore.

"I've decided it's best if I stay here. I can't leave the castle to return to Shiz."

"Fiyero, it's just a few months…"

"I'm needed here."

"Then I'll stay with you."

"No. I want you to go back. We'll get married as soon as you graduate. I need to be here, Fae. But you don't. And you worked so hard. Besides, the Wizard might not like it. I want you to finish what you started. You deserve that much."

"You want me to go back without you? You want to be here alone?"

"Fae, you know I want you with me always. But I know this is what's best for you. What's best for me is to stay. Like you said, it's just a few months. I'll stay and take care of things here, plan our wedding. Please, I can't let you give up graduation to be with me. Do this for me."

She couldn't imagine going back without him. They'd been together for years, and even when they weren't, they'd come there together. "That's what you want?"

"You'll have Glinda. And you won't have a constant distraction to your studies." He raised his eyebrows at her. "Not that it ever stopped you."

"Fiyero, you just lost your brother. How could I leave you this way?"

"Because you have to. Graduate, Fae. One of us should. Besides, we have a week before you need to return. If you think I won't spend most of it with you, you're crazy."

She smiled at that. "Verda needs you right now, too. So do the children."

"I know. We'll make it work."

"I can't take her place as queen, Yero. That's not fair to her."

"She won't care. Her job was done when she bore her son, Fae. She knows how things are out here. And you going back to Shiz will give her time to adjust to the idea. But we need to be married probably within a week of you returning. As king, I need to have a wife."

"And you're certain you want one who came from the streets of the City?"

"I've been certain of that for quite some time." He promised her. "Queen or princess, I love you and I want you to be my wife. Nothing will change that."


	49. Revenge Isn't Sweet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fiyero begins to deal with things as a king.

Fiyero sighed and looked across the table at Elphaba. "Can you get Glinda to come out here right away? We need to have this wedding as soon as you graduate, Fae."

Elphaba looked up from the papers spread in front of her. "I'll do my best. Who says we need her here?"

"Who else is going to be your maid of honor?" He teased. "Have you made another best friend I don't know about?"

"Did you just imply that I have no friends?"

"No, what I implied was that you have one who you're closer to than anyone else."

She laughed. "Fair enough." Elphaba gazed at him. "I know you wanted him to be there, Fiyero…"

"Boq will come," he said quickly.

"You're evading. And you always get frustrated when I do that," she reminded him, gathering up her papers. "Fiyero, I'm not good at pushing. I don't want to. But you haven't spoken about it since the night you told me."

"I have."

"Making plans and organizing the kingdom does not count. You haven't said a word about how you feel." Elphaba smacked her forehead. "Sweet Oz, I'm turning into you!"

"Would that be so terrible?"

"Oh, it would be awful." She got up. "It would be painful to be that sickeningly sweet all the time."

Fiyero rolled his eyes at her. "I never hear you complain."

"It's only because you're good in bed," she joked.

He chased after her. "Oh, really?" Fiyero caught her waist with his arm.

"Very." Elphaba kissed his nose. "But really, Fiyero, you should talk about it. If not to me, then to Verda or to someone. She misses him, too, you know. He was her husband, the father of her children. You've been good with the kids, Fiyero, but you barely speak to her."

"I don't know what to say," he admitted.

"Do you think she expects you to?" Elphaba hugged him close. "Fiyero, no one knows what to say. I know I don't. But you're grieving, too, and you shouldn't do it alone."

Fiyero drew back a little and took both of her hands in his. "I adore you. You know that?"

"Well aware of it," she replied.

After lunch, he went looking for Verda. She sat in the nursery with her children, rocking her baby girl in her lap as her son, Janson, played with several wooden blocks. Fiyero sat down next to the boy for a moment, handing him blocks as he stacked one on top of the other. He could feel Verda's eyes on him. Eventually he said, "How are you doing?"

She looked over at him with uncertainty. "How do you think?"

He only nodded.

After a moment, she asked, genuinely, "How is the wedding planning going?"

"I want him to be there," he told her. "I don't want to do this without him."

Verda sighed heavily. "I understand that sentiment."

"They never caught the men who did it. I wish they had… I'd like to deal out some justice," Fiyero told her. "They probably didn't even know who he was, just that he was wealthy."

"Revenge gets us nothing."

Fiyero looked to her for a moment. "What do you mean by that?"

"When I was young…" Verda stopped for a moment, and put down her daughter into the crib and brushed herself off. "Fiyero, noble families have issues, too. And mine had their fair share. My father wasn't a good man."

"My father respected your father greatly," Fiyero said.

"He didn't know what he was like at home." Verda shuddered and blinked quickly.

Fiyero knew the look in her eyes. He'd seen it in Elphaba's too many times. "What did he do to you?"

Verda hugged herself. "Whatever he wanted."

"Did Rod know?"

Verda nodded. "Why do you think he sent him off to the most remote part of the Vinkus to hunt all the time? He couldn't imprison him; I wouldn't let him. But he made him miserable. It never made me feel any better, though."

Fiyero stood and put a hand on Verda's shoulder. "When did you tell Rod?"

"Our wedding night. I panicked. We didn't…" Verda wiped tears from her eyes. "He was very understanding."

What in Oz was he doing? She'd just lost her husband and now he was dredging up the other most painful moment in her life. "I'm glad he was." He remembered the way Rod had looked at him when he'd made a comment about Elphaba's history. Now he understood. "Verda, Elphaba… she went through something similar."

"I thought so. Your brother said something to that direction. And when she first got here, the way she looked at any man, servant, or noble, who came near her made me consider that she might have that kind of a past. But she never looked at you that way. Not even when she first got here."

He hadn't noticed that. Fiyero had never even considered that something had happened to her until she'd said something after the first time they'd made love. "I… didn't realize."

"She loved you enough to trust you even then, Fiyero. Your parents raised two good sons."

"And now I'm the only one left," he shook his head.

"Which is why you need to do this right. And I know you will." Verda smiled at him. "Thank you for checking on me, but I'm fine. I need to be here, with my children. They're… they're all that's left of him."

"I will make sure that both of them get everything in the world," Fiyero promised her.

She hugged him and he kissed her cheek. When she stepped back, tears glistened in her eyes. "Thank you."

"Verda… if you want, I'm sure Elphaba would talk to you. I… I know sometimes having someone else around who went through the same thing is helpful. She understands."

"Thank you, but… I've had enough talking about that for today. I don't want to mix your brother's memory with my father."

"Fair enough." Fiyero left and returned to the bedroom that he shared with Elphaba. She was reading a book, settled on their bed. He smiled, remembering how she used to read on the floor when she first got there, not used to the comfort of a bed. And now there she sat, happy and peaceful. He settled in beside her. "Enjoying the book?"

She nodded. "How did your conversation go?"

"It was quite enlightening." He told her. "It was a good idea, Fae."

"Well, I'm not at the top of our class for nothing." She nuzzled against him. "I have to go back tomorrow. I wish you were coming with me."

"I have to stay here. It's what's best for all of us. It's only a few months. Come back during the spring holidays. It'll be short, but I don't think I can go that long without seeing you. I might just have to find an excuse to travel to Shiz, otherwise."

Elphaba laughed. "I wouldn't suggest it. Fiyero, there will be no private apartment to hole up in for the night. And the two of us alone after a few months apart? We'll need that."

"There's always a hotel."

She sighed. "I'll come home for the holidays. I promise. But I don't want you trying to find an excuse. If you need to be here, you should be here."

"The only place I want to be, though, Fae, is with you."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: 1 in 4. That's the statistic. 1 in 4 women will be sexually assaulted. And that is why I chose to make Verda a survivor of sexual assault, as well.


	50. Time Goes On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elphaba feels like time is dragging as she attempts to finish up her time at Shiz.

Elphaba had mixed feelings about returning. She knew it was what she had to do, even what she wanted. And while she knew she could do it on her own, she didn't relish the thought of leaving Fiyero. He was brokenhearted over Rod's death, and he would probably never get to finish his schooling. So as soon as she returned, she threw herself into her studies.

Glinda tried to get her to go out occasionally with Pfannee and Shen-Shen, but she always refused. She hadn't gone out before, and she wouldn't now. Elphaba stayed quiet and alone for the most part, though Glinda was excited to find out about her upcoming nuptials.

"So you're not doing _any_ of the planning?"

"Fiyero has it under control." Elphaba waved it off. "Why does it matter to me? It matters to him. He's a king; his wedding has to be perfect. It doesn't matter to me. I never intended to get married." She shrugged. "I love him, but I was happy being his lover more than I will be his queen."

"But you're doing it."

"I am."

"Why?"

"What did I just say? I love him, Glinda. And he… he needs me." And being needed, truly needed, felt nice.

"I'm not unhappy that you're marrying him. I've been hoping you would. But I wasn't certain that you would."

"Well, I am. And I'm happy."

Glinda hugged her close. "I am, too. You two are so perfect for each other."

Being at Shiz without Fiyero felt a lot like going through the motions. And time dragged until she went back for the spring. She had begun to feel like it would never come.

Fiyero pulled her into his arms and into a very passionate kiss as soon as she walked through the door, taking her breath away. "Sweet Oz, I missed you."

When she could finally breathe again, Elphaba laughed. "I missed you, too." His hand was on her waist, drawing her close, another ran through her hair. "Fiyero, if you keep touching me like that…"

"Well, then, we ought to go somewhere more private."

After they made love, Elphaba fell back into his bed. "I needed that."

"So did I." He kissed her forehead. "Tonight or tomorrow you need to deal with the dress situation."

Her eyes narrowed at him. "Dress situation?"

"Fae, you need a dress. You can't just wear a normal dress to get married."

"Can't you deal with it?"

"I am not picking out your wedding dress for you!"

"I don't care."

"That's not how it's done." He reminded her.

"Like I do anything the way it's supposed to be done!"

But still, she did what he asked. Aware that, as their queen, her culture (or lack thereof) would be an issue, she chose a ceremonial Vinkun wedding gown. Acknowledging their culture and taking it as her own might help the fact that she wasn't born one of them.

Fiyero also wanted to discuss who they were inviting, which she also found unnecessary. "Glinda. That's all that matters to me."

"What about Nessarose? Or Nanny?"

Elphaba bit her lip.

"Fae, she's your sister. And she may not know it, but…" He blinked. "One of us should have some semblance of family there."

She looked into his eyes as he said that, hearing the sadness in his words. And when she saw the desperation there, she knew she wouldn't refuse that. "I suppose we can invite them. But they might not come. It won't be her kind of ceremony, so I doubt she'll like that."

He nodded. "We'll see."

She also made an effort to reach out to Verda, asking her if she or the children would like to be involved in the ceremony, which Verda graciously accepted. "Thank you for thinking of me."

"We wouldn't have it without you," Elphaba assured her. She made to leave the room.

"Miss Elphaba?"

There was a tone to her voice that sounded familiar to Elphaba, though she didn't know why. Without looking at the woman, she asked, "What is it?"

"Fiyero told me… what happened to you. I… well, you're not alone."

She turned back to the woman and met her eyes, uncertain if she was speaking about what she thought. "What do you mean by that?"

"I… I was twelve when it happened."

And she knew. Looking at Verda's eyes, the way she spoke, it clicked. The pain behind her eyes, the haunted gaze. She'd seen it in the mirror. "Who was it?"

"My father."

Elphaba nodded. "I see."

"I just… I wanted you to know."

She knew that thanking Verda might not be the right response. "I'm sorry that happened to you."

"And to you…"

Elphaba shook her head. "I'm not… I don't really like to talk about it."

"Understood. But if you ever need to, you know there's someone else who can sympathize."

"I appreciate that." She wasn't mad at Fiyero for telling Verda. Likely enough, Verda had mentioned it first and he had said it as some sort of attempt at comfort. And, she realized, she was no longer ashamed of it, either. It hadn't occurred to her until that moment, but she didn't feel humiliated anymore when she had spoken of it. Elphaba asked, "There are more of us than we think there are, aren't there?"

Verda nodded. "Unfortunately."

"Maybe one day that'll change."

Verda looked wistfully at her daughter's crib. "I hope so."

The break moved too quickly and she was back at Shiz within the week. Apparently, Fiyero had sent out invitations to their small group of friends. When Nessa returned from her visit to Munchkinland, she said, "Thank you for thinking of us. I would be honored to attend your wedding."

Nanny stood behind her, hands on the chair. "Yes, it was… I didn't realize we'd be invited."

"Well, we've lived side-by-side for the last year and a half, of course I would invite you." Elphaba smiled. "I wanted you both there."

Boq had known since they'd returned from the winter holidays earlier in the year. Fiyero had sent him a letter detailing what had happened at home, and he was excited and nervous to be the best man. "I don't need to organize any sort of party or anything, do I?"

"I doubt Fiyero cares much for that." Elphaba told him. "You can write to him and ask, though. I didn't think about it."

_Miss Elphaba,_

_I was happy to hear of your upcoming marriage to the newly crowned of the Arjikis. It puts you in an ever better position to help be a liaison in the Vinkus. I will send several members of the Gale Force out to assist you with whatever you need. I understand that you are probably too busy to come to the City for another briefing until after the wedding, and that is acceptable. I am a very busy man as it is._

_His Ozness,  
The Wizard_

Now all that was left was to actually get married.


	51. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A somewhat happily-ever-after...

"You ready to get married?" Cerstiq grinned at him. Boq had run off to grab something or other.

"I've been ready to marry her for a long time. I'm still not certain I'm ready to be king, and I've already been doing that for several months. I don't know if our people even respect me, Cers. I mean, I'm so young…"

"I believe you'll be fine. Our people loved Rodine, they did, but they'll learn to love you, too. And it's only temporary."

"More than a decade and a half doesn't feel very temporary." Fiyero grumbled. "And I haven't even managed to deal with the men who killed my brother."

"That was outside of your jurisdiction, Fiyero. It was up to the Wizard to catch those criminals. He didn't. The people won't blame you. And stop worrying about this, friend, it is your wedding day!"

He smiled to himself at that. "Yes, that it is."

Fiyero stood, eager and anxious, waiting for his bride. As soon as he saw her, he drew a sharp intake of breath. She looked beautiful - though she always did. Her lips were painted crimson, her hair curled and her eyelids sparkled with a silvery shadow. Her cheeks were dark, but she wasn't wearing any rouge.

When she finally stood across from him, he smiled at her. Their eyes met, and he saw the same love in her eyes that was in his own. Though there were many guests present, all he could focus on was her. Elphaba's hand felt small in his as he gently placed the ring on her finger as he recited what the shaman told him.

He didn't even really hear the words she was saying as she repeated her part of the ceremony. When he kissed her, she was his. And he would never need anything else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: This ending might seem somewhat abrupt, but that's because I wanted to leave it open if I decide to write a sequel. I haven't decided if I will, yet, but I'm already on my next story, which is also somewhat risque.This story, however, right here, is probably one of the closest to my heart. It was difficult to write and also wonderful to write. Thank you all for following along!


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